Soft Skills Engineering

Episode 445: Staying at my first job and my coworker is insulting other departments


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In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions:

  1. A listener named Kevin asks,

    Hey, found the show and really enjoy it! Been listening from the beginning and have noticed that one of the pieces of advice given is that you should not stay at your first job for too long, because it’s more likely that you’ve not found the best job for you. I think The Secretary Problem is the closest thing being cited.

    I tend to agree with the math, but I’m still at my first software engineering job after 5 years and don’t really want to leave. There are obviously things I don’t particularly like or people I find challenging, but for the most part, I work on interesting projects with smart people, it’s fully remote, the benefits are great, and my salary is comfortable. There have been times where I started to look for another job, only to have my current circumstances improve enough that I stopped the search.

    What advice do you have for someone like me?

    I don’t know if it’s relevant, but I’ve managed to get married, buy a house, and just recently had our first baby. The pressure to provide and be conservative with my career is building.

    Again, love the show and I hope you’ll get to answering this before I catch up. I started from the beginning in late 2024, and in mid Jan 2025, I’m just past episode 50. I’ll let you do the math.

  2. As a tech lead, I joined a project two years in the making which had only one engineer doing everything, including management. In the two years, only a POC has been completed and a “pre MVP-MVP” build is in progress. There is a hangup though, the funding for the project is supposed to come from another departments budget that doesn’t want it, and work was committed by the department I am in, and a third department intended to be completed by the end of the quarter.

    I have been trying to finesse my teammate into cancelling the project or at least allow a resetting of expectations. My manager agrees with me. There seems to be a tug of war between AVPs and Directors. This has led my teammate to make some corporate aggressive comments. These are being directed in many directions, including department heads opposing the project.

    In your professional space experience, how can I help my teammate with understanding that his tactics are potentially damaging to his reputation and the project?

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    Soft Skills EngineeringBy Jamison Dance and Dave Smith

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