Know the expectations:

Regional differences

Cremation versus burials

Time between death and service (role changes as time increases)

 

Early On:

Develop a relationship with your local funeral directors.

Meet with the family at the funeral home if possible. Harder in larger cities and with corporate services.

Ask and listen for personal stories.

Encourage the family and pray often.

Plan to be flexible.

 

Planning you service:

Obituary versus opening thoughts or Scripture

Sometimes I read the obituary, but if its printed; I prefer to encourage through Scripture and wisdom.

How much music? Slide shows and/or pictures?

Will others be speaking/ will there be an open mic?

Putting your message together

Use outside resources to help create a database of passages

Be both honest and loving

"If  _________________ could speak with us today…"

Be evangelistic within your role as a comforter of the grieving.

Use personal touches

Use the loved one's Bible if possible

Usually 20 minutes tops

Remember we can start to say the same things too often they lose impact. 

 

Gravesides and follow-up:

Keep it short: prayer and acknowledge the family.

Give a resource...

Good Grief by Granger Westberg