00:00 Introductions

03:30 Morgan Wallen

06:27 Pete Hegseth

12:16 Tariffs!

17:53 Tush Push

29:00 Pat McAfee

37:06 Cory Booker

41:00 Quittin’ Time

—Technical issues abound… YouTube says that if you tap “horizontal display” on your live cast, you’ll be able to broadcast in a way that befits the standard 16:9 ratio.

Sadly, YouTube lies.

For reasons no one understands, if you tap “horizontal display,” you’ll be horizontal… but YouTube will broadcast you sideways.

So.

Very.

Dumb.

—Did’ja see the headlines? “MORGAN WALLEN STORMS OFF SNL STAGE!”

Or, you know… He hugged the host, and sort of just sauntered off.
“Show’s over. Time to go home.”

People will make a big deal over anything they can these days, because manufactured outrage sells.

What a time to be alive.

—Speaking of manufactured outrage, the dumbest of the dumb people on the planet got mad at SNL writer Colin Jost for insinuating alcoholic Pete Hegseth was drunk on the job.

These, of course, are the exact same people who were extremely forgiving of Hegseth using a non-secure app to share war plans, and having a reporter in on the chat with him and his idiot coworkers.

(These dumb people, the outraged, are also fine with people lying under oath. Funny, that.)

A side discussion involves the fact Saturday Night Live has always been consistently average. Never great, never awful, just… “there.”

—They’re here! They’re ruining the economy! Something that rhymes here and that’s pithy and catchy!
(Forgive me, I was trying to do a play on the whole, “We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it!”)

Well, Donald “I bankrupted multiple businesses, and a casino” Trump is doing his best to bankrupt America.

Anyone with an IQ above that of a turnip can see it, which is why you see his minions defending the loss of trillions of dollars in the stock market.

—Because no one in the NFL seems able to duplicate the “tush push” as well as the Eagles, several teams are trying to have it banned.

Because that’s easier than drawing up a plan to defend against it, apparently.

What a sissy nation we’re in… football is supposed to be a combination of rough and tumble manliness, and strategy.

And yet, here we are, with the Green Bay Packers (my team!) leading the charge to go crybaby over it.

Boo, I say. Boo.

Side discussion: a very clever (sarcasm) commenter tries calling us “groomers,” which leads to a discussion on what the term even means anymore.

(Also: nathan’s son pops in to talk about going swimming.)

—What is the difference between slander/libel, and free speech?

Pat McAfee might be finding out, soon.

Mary Kate Cornett, of Mississippi, is suing McAfee, because he told the story of an internet rumor on air.

McAfee never named Mary Kate, but she says the sheer fact he brought up the rumor associated with her was enough.

Fascinating stuff… What will the courts say?

—Corey Booker breaks records!
Good on Booker for standing up for the people of America, and putting to rest a record previously held by Strom “Biggest racist, ever” Thurmond.

I’m not sure if it’s funny, sad, or both, that the two longest speeches in the Senate were by a-holes trying to keep the country crappy.

Strom Thurmond wanted a more racist America, and Ted Cruz didn’t want people to get healthcare.

Well, Booker is the new winner, and he did it better than either of those other two idiots.

—Connivence Store chain Quik Trip is getting into the alcohol game. Specifically, the beer market.

Given that Miller seems to have given up the catchphrase, “It’s Miller time,” regarding the beer you drink once you’re off work, Quik Trip is going sideways with, “Quittin’ Time.”
You’re done with work, so grab a brew to forget about how much you hate your job.

Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to.

Tune in and get your giggle on.

Find Jake at @jakevevera

Find nathan at nathantimmel.com