00:00 Introductions

01:20 Surviving Ohio State

17:17 OceanGate

35:09 Cruz vs. Carlson

44:48 Trump Phone

45:21 Immigration & ICE

46:42 Mike Lindell

—Introductions: A brief touch on the weather, because small talk is wonderful up front.

—Surviving Ohio State: Wow, Jim Jordan is one of the worst people on the planet. It’s one thing to be mentally deranged, and therefore a pedo, but Jim Jordan is a pedo protector, and that’s almost worst. 

At least if you’re into harming others, you can be written off as a sociopath. There’s something genuinely wrong with you; you’re not all there mentally. 

But Jim Jordan protects pesos for political advancement. 

He’s just a gross human being all around.

Oh, and… Yeah. Ohio State University covered up sexual assault for decades, and still refuses to pay any victims. 

Insane.

—OceanGate: As we all know, the Titan submersible imploded in 2023, killing a megalomaniac CEO (no loss), a couple billionaires (no loss), and a kid (tragic, that his dad got him killed).

But damn… there were signs every single step of the way that this was going to fail. 

And yet, people continued on until the eventual happened. 

The world we live in.

—Ted Cruz vs. Tucker Carlson: “Ted Cruz has done a lot of horrible things in his life, but the worst has to be making Tucker Carlson a voice of reason.”
That’s the best tweet I saw regarding the Tucker Carlson/Ted Cruz interview.
Cruz wants to bomb Iran, which, by the time this aired, had already happened.

News moves fast… 

—Trump Phone: They claim it’s made in the USA, but that’s impossible. Not that truth has ever mattered to a MAGA moron. They’ll buy the garbage because they’re stupid. 

—Immigration & ICE: TACO, “Trump Always Chickens Out.” Apparently he’s finally figuring out that immigrants are necessary workers. All it took was his multi-millionaire corporate friends telling him they profit off the backs of migrants. 

—Mike Lindell: Noted a-hole and mustache enthusiast My Pillow Guy lost in court, again. It’d be nice if something deserving (prison, cancer) actually happened to him. 

Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to.

Tune in and get your giggle on.

Find Jake at @jakevevera

Find nathan at nathantimmel.com