Most people don’t see the depth of how contentious a church can become because they themselves are not contentious.

 

Some root causes

Short pastor tenures with the same long term lay leadership.

A history of contention.

Ask lots of questions about history before you go to that church.

A stubborn attraction to the past.

Structures and attitudes that promote disharmony.

An unchallenged church bully. - shadow pastor

Business meetings that become a free for all.

 

What to do?

Don’t be surprised: the enemy loves discord.

If without a pastor consider an intentional interim or transitional pastor.

Address it directly and work with through the pain.

Encourage prayer for one another.

Pray for Godly leaders to emerge

Consider structures that make it harder to have contention.

Move challenging business meeting items to teams or boards for consideration.

Consider if you can survive it.

We are called to say "yes" to God even if it means staying and fighting

Someone needs to be "the guy" who will change things so its better for the next guy

Have a good group of mentor pastors to be able to visit with.

Be constantly communicating with your spouse and kids - ask them how they are feeling