Turn guilt into gratitude. Next time you feel guilty after self-care repeat to yourself “I’m human, just like everyone else”. Remembering this simple phrase can do wonders to the internal dialog that keeps guilt alive.  

Tell the other person. You might reach out to your friend and let them know you are feeling guilty for not helping them out. Have an open dialog and if they are a good friend, they should be able to put you at ease. Maybe find someone you trust to talk about, or hey send ME an email. 

Accept that people may be mad at you. What others think about you, is none of your fucking business. If you tell a friend you cannot help them and choose self-care instead, they should understand. Most of our friends are more forgiving of us then we are of ourselves. 

Journal. I love to write (duh, you’re reading my weekly blog). It is very therapeutic and helps to formulate precisely what’s going on. Write down why you are feeling guilty. Think of all the contributing factors. Maybe someone in you early life always made you feel guilty if you did not give them exactly what they wanted from you.

Healthy guilt v. unhealthy guilt. Feeling guilty because you decided to take a bath instead of helping a friend move is a good example of unhealthy guilt. You didn’t do anything wrong, you are not harming anyone, and you didn’t promise to help months ago and are backing out. 

Plan more self-care. Turns out the solution to feeling guilty about taking care of yourself, comes from not taking care of yourself. It’s a practice, You may need to over saturate yourself with self-care, tender words, and alone time for awhile so that it can start to feel normal for you.