Avoidant adults are often independent and self-reliant. They appear happy and go-lucky. They problem-solve, avoid conflict, and rarely need emotional support or help from anybody. They pursue excellence outside of their relationships and appear "in control." Relationships for insecurely attached avoidant people are best left superficial. Emotional closeness and intimacy are eschewed, even in a romantic, committed relationship. If a partner wants too much, the avoidant partner - avoids. Competing attachments, fault-finding, and emotional stonewalling are all ways avoidant partner creates separation. Listen to this week's podcast to determine whether you have avoidant tendencies. Remember, this is a spectrum. No one definition hits all the relevant points. 

The Attachment Project 

The Attachment Theory Workbook 

The Attachment Quiz