A little break from shame this week.

I have started my own business and would like to share the new brand, and tell you about some new groups and services I will be providing.

Beginning on September 1, 2026, I will be offering a parenting group. This week's podcast discusses the specific things that you will learn in each of the six weeks, and why it matters.

Check out the link below to see the flyer, and use the QR code or the register link to claim your seat. After registration, you will hear from me with further details.

Mental Refinery Therapy and Coaching

Raising Connected Kids, Toddler through Teen

***UPDATED TO INCLUDE PARENTING GROUP INFORMATION***

***UPDATED AGAIN****

The link at the bottom of the description now works and takes you to the current version of my website. Additionally, you can find the website directly by clicking on this link: mentalrefinery

At the end of this week's podcast, I announce a parenting group that I am running beginning September 1st. It will run Tuesdays from 7:00 - 8:30 for 6 weeks. Registration deadline is August 25. For my details check out the flyer linked below.

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This is a great episode. I answer a couple more listener questions, and then have a fun, interesting conversation about shame with my daughters. The intention was to work through some examples of shame behaviors; which they did, and so much more. In this episode you will see real vulnerability, accountability and nuance as we discuss shame and how it has affected our lives.

Raising Connected Kids, Toddler Through Teen
A 6-week parenting group with Stephanie Snuffer, M.Ed, CMHC

Dates: Tuesdays, 6 weeks, starting September 1
Time: 7:00 – 8:30 PM
Format: In-person or Zoom — 10 in-person seats, 6 virtual seats
Location: Mental Refinery, 11075 S. State St., Bldg. 25, Sandy, UT 84070
For: Parents of kids toddler through age 18 (beginner-friendly)

Cost: $675/person or $900/couple — due in full at registration
Registration deadline: August 25

Weekly topics:

1. Foundations & Values
2. Attachment
3. Behavior & Nervous System
4. Boundaries
5. Inner Child Work
6. Repair & Integration

Contact: (801) 692-3391 · [email protected] · thementalrefinery.com

Raising Connected Kids Parenting Group

Welcome back to In Sanity: A Piece of Mind. In this episode, I'm responding to more of your questions and feedback from recent episodes, because these questions and comments are worth discussing together.

Then I'm digging deeper into shame itself and discussing a few old things and a few new things. Healthy shame is the kind that keeps you aligned with your own values — it's a signal, not a verdict. Unhealthy shame is the kind that convinces you something is wrong with who you are, not just what you did. I'll walk through how that shows up in daily life and in parenting, and how to start noticing your own personal triggers before they run the show.

I'll also talk about why self-kindness matters so much here — treating yourself the way you'd treat a good friend, not the way your inner critic wants to. I'm drawing on Kristin Neff's research on self-compassion and common humanity, plus what we know about the neuroscience of change: how repeated, mindful practice actually builds new neural pathways over time. My hope is you walk away with something practical — a way to catch shame in the moment and respond to it differently.

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Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion — https://www.amazon.com/Self-Compassion-The-Proven-Powerful-Happiness/dp/0143120359
Kristin Neff, Mindful Self-Compassion — https://self-compassion.org/

In this episode of In Sanity, I am responding to the solicitation of questions and feedback from you guys regarding shame. I received a fair number, and in this episode, I responded to a few of them. It gave me the opportunity to do some extra investigating and include some more information within the context of the feedback and questions. I will continue to respond as we move through this series.

Please keep the questions coming at [email protected]

Welcome back. This week, we're continuing our series on Curt Thompson's The Soul of Shame, and today we're in Chapter 4 — "The Story of Shame You Are Living." Thompson's argument here is that shame isn't just something that happens to you, it's a tool doing something specific: distracting you from a truer story about who you are.

We'll get into how shame actually works backward — because shame actually shows up before the story you build to explain it, not after. We'll look at why so much of what shame narrates was never even put into words in the first place. We'll talk about how the same mechanism running in a marriage runs in a war. And we'll bring in some of the research standing behind Thompson's argument, from narrative identity to affect labeling.

Thanks for being here.

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This week, I am asking for your feedback and questions regarding shame and anything else. If you have ideas for podcast topics, I am open to those, and if you want to leave comments for me to read in an upcoming podcast, I'd welcome that as well.

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Before shame ever enters the picture, your brain was built for joy. In this episode, I'm going to talk about the neuroscience of joy — how it shapes the developing mind, why it's the foundation everything else gets built on, and what happens when shame interrupts that process. Using information and research from Curt Thompson's The Soul of Shame, attachment research from Allan Schore and Dan Siegel, and the broader science of early relational bonding, we'll look at how shame doesn't just feel bad — it actually fractures the integration of the mind. Additionally, I am exploring some scriptural correlates in this episode.

A guided meditation for anyone carrying the quiet weight of shame. Drawing on everything we've explored so far about the neuroscience of the shame response, the difference between guilt and shame, and the healing power of being truly known. This episode slows down to let it sink in. No new concepts, no analysis, just a gentle space to notice the inner voice, find the line between what you did and who you are, and practice resting in a truer story.

What if shame isn't just a feeling, but something that literally rewires your brain? In this episode, we explore the neuroscience of shame through the work of psychiatrist Curt Thompson and interpersonal neurobiologist Dan Siegel — unpacking what the mind actually is, why shame finds it such a comfortable home, and how concepts like neuroplasticity and attention hold the key to healing. We'll also draw some unexpected connections between brain science and the gospel of Jesus Christ. Whether you're a therapy veteran or just trying to make sense of that voice in your head, this one's for you.

This is Episode 3 in the series on shame — and if you've been here, you know that it's been building toward something. Episode 1 introduced shame. Episode 2 gave a wide-angle view of Dr. Curt Thompson's book, The Soul of Shame. Today, it's a bit slower as I dive more in the book.

Because there's a line in Thompson's introduction that I haven't been able to shake: shame is trying to tell you a story. Not that you've done something wrong. Not just that you feel bad in a moment. But that there is a narrative being written about you — and shame is the author. And it is not a reliable one.

So today the question is: What is that story? Where did it come from? What does it do to your body, your relationships, your creativity, your sense of calling? And — maybe most importantly — if shame is the narrator, what does it take to tell a different story?