Well, dear listeners, here we go again.

Like a brainless zombie emerging from the grave, a long-dead statue of Christopher Columbus has lurched back to life in order to reign terror on Washington DC.

And as his statue’s reanimated corpse claws its way up from the depths, it pauses momentarily to once again draw breath and utter…

“It’s a Me, Christopher Columbus!”

If you don’t know what I am referring to, dear listener, allow me to elucidate. On March 22, 2026, the Trump administration installed a 13-foot, one-ton marble replica of a Columbus statue on the White House grounds near the Eisenhower Executive Office Building. This was not an entirely new monument. It was constructed in part from fragments of the same columbus statue that protesters toppled in Baltimore six years earlier before dumping it neatly into the city’s Inner Harbor. That monument was one of many Columbus statues targeted during the height of the Black Lives Matter movement, as critics pointed to Columbus’ role in the violence, exploitation, and devastation of Indigenous peoples in the Americas.

The new, zombie statue was commissioned by the Conference of Presidents of Major Italian American Organizations and is part of the White House’s celebration of the nation’s 250th anniversary. According to the organization, artists recovered pieces of the original marble from the harbor and incorporated them into the reconstruction. After Baltimore officials declined to reinstall the monument (good on you Baltimore), the group turned to the White House to give it a new home. And of course, the usual gang of morons, war-criminals, and pedophiles that currently occupy the white house were more than happy to oblige.

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Kurly Tlapoyawa is an archaeologist, ethnohistorian, and filmmaker. His research covers Mesoamerica, the American Southwest, and the historical connections between the two regions. He is the author of numerous books and has presented lectures at the University of New Mexico, Harvard University, Yale University, San Diego State University, and numerous others. He most recently released his documentary short film "Guardians of the Purple Kingdom," and is a cultural consultant for Nickelodeon Animation Studios.
@kurlytlapoyawa

Ruben Arellano Tlakatekatl is a scholar, activist, and professor of history. His research explores Chicana/Chicano indigeneity, Mexican indigenist nationalism, and Coahuiltecan identity resurgence. Other areas of research include Aztlan (US Southwest), Anawak (Mesoamerica), and Native North America. He has presented and published widely on these topics and has taught courses at various institutions. He currently teaches history at Dallas College – Mountain View Campus. 

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