Submission is one of those things that lives in the cultural imagination: it’s whispered about, fantasized over, but rarely discussed honestly by the people actually living it.
In this episode, we share what submission and surrender mean to us. Because in our lives, it’s not role play or a performance, it’s an integrated part of our relationships and identities. Nicholette talks about her 24/7 Dominant/submissive marriage and how sitting on the floor makes her feel more powerful than sitting in a chair. Kari shares how she actually started by exploring dominance, but it wasn’t until she experienced submission that her “true sexual essence came online.”
We also get into:
- why healthy submission doesn’t include self-abandonment
- how to know if submission is something worth exploring for you
- what it actually looks like to integrate submission into a busy, powerful life
If you’ve ever felt a pull toward surrender but didn’t know what to do with it, this one’s for you.
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If you’re inspired by what you heard and want to dive deeper, explore our Empowered Submissive program.
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Chapter Timestamps
0:00 — What we’re talking about today
3:57 — “We’re just weirdos”: normalizing the conversation
6:00 — Nicholette’s submissive origins: containment, care, defilement
9:45 — Devotion, service, and AOL chat rooms
12:55 — The trap of over-giving vs. true submission
14:10 — Nicholette’s 24/7 dynamic and why she’s sitting on the floor
16:38 — What it was like resisting her own desire to submit
18:50 — Losing power by projecting instead of being present
24:46 — Kari’s journey: from Dominance to discovering submission
28:16 — Exploring submission in committed partnership
32:11 — How you can start to explore submission with us. (Learn more here.)
32:58 — Stepping in and out: how Kari structures scenes and uses humor
38:10 — How and why Nicholette & her partner avoid “default” dynamics
46:30 — There is no “right” way to do power play
48:30 — Invitation: what’s at the core of submission for YOU?
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Erotic Reclamation is where sex-positive education meets somatic, trauma-informed practice. We're Nicholette Routhier and Kari Kinkead: certified embodiment facilitators, kink priestesses, relationship coaches, and freaky guides for anyone ready to stop hiding their desire and start basking in it.
Our approach goes beyond what you’ll typically find at BDSM workshops and play parties. We focus on:
- Embodied exploration of claiming your desires, energetic eroticism, power play, conflict repair, and so much more
- Meeting shame with tenderness, while reconnecting to your body's erotic intelligence
- Trauma-informed containers that prioritize nervous system safety, transparent communication, and full-body “fuck yes” consent and boundaries
- Building a healthy, integrated relationship with your sexual cravings and sexual partners
- Finding the kind of pleasure your body and soul has been dreaming of, but wasn’t sure really existed…
Whether you're curious about kink, navigating a Dominant/submissive awakening, or wanting to deepen what you've already been exploring, there's a place for you here. No experience necessary, but all experience welcome. Learn more at eroticreclamation.com.
With love,
Kari & Nicolette
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit eroticreclamation.substack.com
