Every Damn Thing

Every Damn Thing

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Every Damn Thing episodes

  • 67. In-N-Out Burger, Portmanteaus (w/ Matt Hock)

    Phil and Jake are joined by returning guest Matt Hock (from Space Cadet & The Explosion) to rank In-N-Out Burger, and word mash-ups aka portmanteaus on the List of Every Damn Thing.

    Get Space Cadet’s record “Lion On A Leash” on Wiretap Records, listen to them on Spotify, and follow them on Instagram (@space_cadet_band). And go to one of their upcoming shows!


    If you have something to add to the list, email it to [email protected] (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook).

    SHOW NOTES:

    • In the episode, Phil talks about @tweakseason on TikTok. Phil doesn't have TikTok but he has a summary of @tweakseason's activities on his desk every Monday morning. Here's a youtube compilation it's in the genre of "guy walking around NYC".
    • Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser is a book about fast food in America. We read it a long time ago but we remember it was heavy on the Carl's Jr. One of the last chapters is about how everything they just said about how bad the industry is doesn't really apply to In-N-Out - they pay their workers better, produce better quality food, etc.
    • Shake Shack is a fast-casual hamburger chain based in NYC (which is now nationwide). According to Phil, the burger is better than In-N-Out but it costs three times as much. 
    • We mention Taqueria Diana in Williamsburg again. Go there.
    • Dick's is the place where the cool hang out. The swass like to play, and the rich flaunt clout. It's a burger place in Seattle. In an alternate universe it took off in popularity instead of In-N-Out.
    • Sir Mix-A-Lot is a Seattle-based rapper and HAM radio enthusiast.
    • Waffle House is an all-day breakfast chain based in the Southeast. When fights happen at Waffle House, they often end up on social media.
    • Veggie Grill is a vegetarian fast food chain on the West Coast, as well as in New York and Massachusetts. It’s pretty much wherever coastal elites like to be, and it’s good food.
    • Taco Time is a Mexican fast food chain in the western U.S., but not California.
    • El Pollo Loco deserves to be ranked later. It's Phil's favorite fast-food chain.
    • "Thighvertising" came up in Phil's search for portmanteaus. He admits Jake was right it should be called “adverthighsing”.
    • James Joyce coined the term “Scandiknavery” in Finnegan's Wake'. It's pretty specific but we’re looking forward to using it. 
    • Phil thinks “pegacorn is” a bad one because "Winged Unicorn" just sounds better.
    • Other portmanteaus discussed include “bodacious”, “throuple”, “guesstimate” and “chillax”.
    • After plugging his own shows, Matt makes sure to plug our good friend Dave Hause’s upcoming shows in November.


    ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
    Jesus Christ * Animal Style * French fries * anti-vaxxers * * Popeye’s chicken * Steven Seagal * QAnon * war * the Jersey Shore * Alice in Wonderland * Pompeii * goats * Jessica Rabbit * skorts * jorts * jeggings * Watchmen (TV series) * 

    Below are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here).


    TOP TEN:

    1. Dolly Parton - person
    2. interspecies animal friends - idea
    3. sex - idea
    4. Clement Street in San Francisco - location
    5. Prince - person
    6. It’s-It - food
    7. Cher - person
    8. Pee-Wee Herman - fictional character
    9. Donald Duck - fictional character
    10. Hank Williams - person

    BOTTOM TEN:


    204. Jenny McCarthy - person
    205. Jon Voight - person
    206. Hank Williams, Jr - person
    207. British Royal Family - institution
    208. Steven Seagal - person
    209. McRib - food
    210. war - idea
    211. cigarettes - drug
    212. QAnon - idea
    213. transphobia - idea



    Theme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan, with audio help from Luke Janela. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan & Phil Green.

    Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

    Email us at [email protected]. 

    40 min
  • 66. Pie, Water Parks, Earplugs, Newspapers, Wedding Anniversaries, Audio Books

    Jake and Phil are joined by ghostly spirits from the other side of the flimsy veil that separates our world from the next in this extremely Frightening Lightning episode. We rank pie, water parks, earplugs, newspapers, wedding anniversaries, audiobooks.

    SHOW NOTES:

    • The Kurt Vonnegut story Phil was talking about was Harrison Bergeron. Full text of the story is here, it's very short. It's been adapted several times for TV and movies. It's the kind of science-fiction story that probably gets taken the wrong way a lot.
    • The Video game we mentioned but didn't know the full name of was Ivan "Ironman" Stewart's Super Off Road. Here's a video of what it looks like a real Super Sprint vibe to the proceedings.
    • Key Lime pie is brought up. You don't need limes from Key West to make these pies, just use regular limes.
    • The Stephen King audiobook that the populist Phil talks about is 11/22/63. It was made into a movie on Hulu. Phil's not a Stephen King guy really but he likes time travel stories. This book is about a portal that opens up to a particular town in Maine on the same day. A guy who owns a hamburger place goes into the past and buys the same meat over and over from this town in Maine to bring back to the present to serve to his customers. Wait, maybe that's Stephen King telling on himself!

    If you have something to add to the list, email it to [email protected] (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook).

    35 min
  • 65. Drumline, PG-13 (w/ Andrew Black)

    Phil and Jake are joined by Andrew Black-- drummer for Laughing Matter, The Explosion and The Primals-- to rank the 2002 movie Drumline, and the PG-13 movie rating on the List of Every Damn Thing.

    Find Andrew on Instagram (@blacksrecords), and his band Laughing Matter is there as well (@laughingmatterla). And you gotta listen to Laughing Matter on Spotify (where you can also find The Explosion and The Primals).


    If you have something to add to the list, email it to [email protected] (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook).

    SHOW NOTES:

    • We talk about a lot of movies in this episode, including Back to the Future Part II, Bring It On, Akeela and the Bee, Caddyshack, Enter the Dragon, E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Overboard, Adventures in Babysitting, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, D.C. Cab, Howard the Duck, Judgment Night and Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.
    • Wazzup (1999) was a Budweiser ad directed by Drumline director Charles Stone III based on his own short film "true" which was based on a real event in his life. 
    • Here’s the Make 7… Up Yours commercial starring Orlando Jones.
    • Malik is the drummer who Andrew recommends following on Instagram.
    • We talk a bit about Washington D.C. go-go music, which is a regional musical style that never got the widespread recognition it deserves. Da’ Butt by Experience Unlimited is probably the most well-known go-go song.
    • We make reference to HBCUs. There are about 100 historically black colleges & universities in the US. Atlanta A&T is a fictional school. Morris Brown is a real college though and that's their band in the movie.
    • We give props to the Judgment Night soundtrack. Jake was right that there’s an Onyx / Biohazard collabo on it, but Andrew’s right that it’s not the song “Slam”.
    • DuckTales is a Disney cartoon adventure show about Donald Duck's nephews and uncle going on adventures. The original 1980s run was heavily based on the 1950s comics that taught Phil how to read. Phil's son watches the new series which features Paul F. Tompkins as Donald's cousin, Gladstone.


    ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
    Nick Cannon * Zoe Saldana * Dallas Austin * Petey Pablo * The Trouble Funk * Chuckie Thompson * marching bands * Lil Wayne * Michael B. Jordan * snare drums * glitter * Carthage * speed limits * Band-aids as fashion * man-buns * Oreos * blood

    Below are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here).


    TOP TEN:

    1. Dolly Parton - person
    2. interspecies animal friends - idea
    3. sex - idea
    4. Clement Street in San Francisco - location
    5. Prince - person
    6. It’s-It - food
    7. Cher - person
    8. Pee-Wee Herman - fictional character
    9. Donald Duck - fictional character
    10. Hank Williams - person

    BOTTOM TEN:


    196. Jenny McCarthy - person
    197. Jon Voight - person
    198. Hank Williams, Jr - person
    199. British Royal Family - institution
    200. Steven Seagal - person
    201. McRib - food
    202. war - idea
    203. cigarettes - drug
    204. QAnon - idea
    205. transphobia - idea



    Theme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan, with audio help from Luke Janela. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan & Phil Green.

    Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

    Email us at [email protected]. 

    53 min
  • 64. Graffiti

    Phil & Jake welcome Nick G. to the show to deface the List of Every Damn Thing with graffiti.


    If you have something to add to the list, email it to [email protected] (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook).

    SHOW NOTES:

    • Before recording this episode, Jake had the best onion ring of his life at Big Kel’s in Council Bluffs, Iowa.
    • Daphne & Velma is a live-action movie from 2018 about the two girls from Scooby-Doo solving mysteries without the dead weight of the dog and the two boys. I think it might be a prequel too since they're in high school and it's our understanding that they are college age in other depictions.
    • Garfield Minus Garfield (Phil got the name wrong) was a series of photoshopped Garfield comics that removed Garfield from them.
    • Hanna-Barbera was behind maybe half of all American-produced cartoons in the second  half of the 20th century. A lot of the studio's work was real trash although kids had no better choices back then so they have fond memories of it. We don't know how they didn't get sued for basing their cartoons so obviously on actual people. Fred Flintstone for example was based on Jackie Gleason.
    • Vandals were a Germanic people living in late-Roman times who were characterized years later by renaissance and early-modern historians as being all about pointless destruction. Phil was wrong when he claimed that "Vandalism" was coined in Roman times, the term wasn't invented until the 1790s. 
    • Hobo graffiti are glyphs that help hobos get by in the world.
    • Here’s the more-respectable anarchy symbol that Jake saw in Spain.
    • Here's the anti-graffiti wall from Demolition Man.
    • Here’s Nic Cage's friend's son writing “FART” on the wall in Raising Arizona.


    ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
    art * street art * busking * anime * Pompeii * puns * anti-diarrhea medicine * metatextuality * ice cream trucks * Christmas trees * The Golden Girls * karaoke * podcasts


    Below are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here).


    TOP TEN:

    1. Dolly Parton - person
    2. interspecies animal friends - idea
    3. sex - idea
    4. Clement Street in San Francisco - location
    5. Prince - person
    6. It’s-It - food
    7. Cher - person
    8. Pee-Wee Herman - fictional character
    9. Donald Duck - fictional character
    10. Hank Williams - person

    BOTTOM TEN:


    194. Jenny McCarthy - person
    195. Jon Voight - person
    196. Hank Williams, Jr - person
    197. British Royal Family - institution
    198. Steven Seagal - person
    199. McRib - food
    200. war - idea
    201. cigarettes - drug
    202. QAnon - idea
    203. transphobia - idea



    Theme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan, with audio help from Luke Janela. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan & Phil Green.

    Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

    Email us at [email protected]. 

    30 min
  • 63. The Golden Girls, Anime

    Phil, Jake and Jason are joined by Tiffa (Intermission podcast) to rank the classic sitcom The Golden Girls and anime on the List of Every Damn Thing.

    Keep up with Intermission on Instagram (@Intermission_podcast) & Twitter (@IntermissionPC). Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts!


    If you have something to add to the list, email it to [email protected] (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook).

    SHOW NOTES:

    • Jake is in unceded Pomo territory while recording the episode.
    • Sitcoms are comedies where the characters carry over from episode to episode but are put in different situations like "Jack makes a date with two girls for the same night" type shit. We talk about a lot of sitcoms including The Golden Palace, All In the Family, Maude, Seinfeld, Empty Nest, Benson, The Facts of Life, Frasier, Married With Children and Designing Women (sadly there will be NO reboot).
    • Adrienne Barbeau has come up a couple times in the history of Every Damn Thing already. She played Bea Arthur's daughter on Maude and was the voice of Catwoman on Batman: The Animated Series. Also she was in Swamp Thing, and Escape from New York. She often has a look on her face like she's smelling something foul.
    • Mama’s Family was a spinoff of some recurring sketches on the The Carol Burnett Show. Phil only ever saw this on TV as a kid when he was waiting for something else to start. The cheapness of the sets & production really stood out to him.
    • Here’s the pic of Bea Arthur in a sexy feather boa that we promised.
    • We get a bit sidetracked with Fatty Arbuckle. The book Phil mentioned about him was I, Fatty by Jerry Stahl who also wrote Permanent Midnight which is in part about being a junkie while being a writer on the sitcom Alf.
    • Here’s Buster Keaton looking all sexy.
    • Hentai is, generally speaking, pornographic anime.
    • Pokemon is maybe the most popular anime there is in the US. Phil's kid loves it.
    • Kiki’s Delivery Service is a fantastic movie about a young witch trying to make her way in life. The voice of the cat in the English dub of it is Phil Hartmann's last role.
    • The Little Mermaid is a Disney movie that's very short and came out the same year as Kiki's Delivery Service and really suffers in comparison.
    • Other anime discussed include Sailor Moon, Ninja Scroll, My Neighbor Totoro and Princess Mononoke.
    • Hanna-Barbera is the animation studio that created Scooby-Doo and many other cartoons, now owned by Warner Brothers. Their work in the 60s and 70s was usually pretty dull. It seemed like it was made by people who had contempt for their audience and maybe themselves.
    • Here’s the Kewpie ad mentioned by Jason.
    • Hatsune Miku, Jake's one-time employer, is a Vocaloid software voicebank developed by Crypton Future Media, represented by a hologram of a 16-year-old girl with long, turquoise twintails.
    • Jessica Rabbit is getting a Disneyland makeover. 
    • Song of the South is buried deep in the Disney vault and it's impossible to imagine Disney ever releasing it, but here’s a podcast detailing it’s sordid past. 


    ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
    Betty White * Rue McClanahan * Estelle Getty * The Star Wars Holiday Special * Lucille Ball * The Three Stooges * Shakira * anti-diarrhea medicine * Avatar: The Last Airbender * G.I. Joe 80s cartoon * the Sex and the City reboot * Star Wars * podcasts * Charmander * skorts

    Below are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here).


    TOP TEN:

    1. Dolly Parton - person
    2. interspecies animal friends - idea
    3. sex - idea
    4. Clement Street in San Francisco - location
    5. Prince - person
    6. It’s-It - food
    7. Cher - person
    8. Pee-Wee Herman ...
    58 min
  • 62. Marijuana, Band-Aids as Fashion, Yosemite Sam Mudflaps (w/ Efrem Schulz)

    Phil and Jake witness the triumphant return of Efrem Schulz-- frontman for Death By Stereo, Voodoo Glow Skulls and Manic Hispanic-- to rank marijuana, Band-Aids as fashion, and Yosemite Sam Mudflaps on the List of Every Damn Thing.

    Find Efrem on Twitter (@Efbystereo) and Instagram (@efbystereo). He's been real busy with his bands lately.; here's a check-out list:

    • Check out the Voodoo Glow Skulls new album “Livin’ the Apocalypse” and if you’re in Southern California get tickets to their October 22nd show (unless you’re reading this in the future).
    • Check out Manic Hispanic’s new album “Back In Brown” and get tickets to see them play with FEAR on October 29th (again, it helps if you’re in SoCal and not in the future).
    • And of course, check out Death By Stereo in general.


    If you have something to add to the list, email it to [email protected] (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook).

    SHOW NOTES:

    • “Weird A.I.” Yankovich is an invention of Beth, Phil's wife. He's an artificial intelligence that does song parodies.
    • We get into a lot of hologram talk. Here’s a write-up of Jenni Rivera’s hologram’s appearance at Hollywood Forever Cemetery. And here’s some info on the upcoming ABBA hologram show.
    • The Tehachapi Loop is popular with railfans like Jake.
    • We discuss fake train tunnels, and hate it when this happens.
    • Here’s the episode of Efrem’s podcast Into the Weeds featuring Tommy Chong.
    • “Barroom Buddies” by Clint Eastwood & Merle Haggard is a real thing!
    • “Drinkenstein” is a song written by Dolly Parton (the current #1 on the List of Everything) & sung by Sylvester Stallone. It’s from the movie Rhinestone which they starred in.
    • We think we've gotten this wrong before in the past but for the record, Murphy Lee is not the guy who wears the Phantom of the Opera mask in the St. Lunatics. Murphy Lee and Kyjuan are the only members of the St Lunatics anyone can remember, and neither are the ones who wear the mask. That's Slo Down. He was a silent hypeman who ended up in a feud with Nelly because he felt he wasn't being paid properly.
    • Here’s YouTuber Linzor explaining her Band-Aid fashion.
    • Hatless Slash is actually pretty common.
    • Efrem surely meant to say John Schnieder when he was talking about John Davidson.
    • In looking for a list of the most iconic mudflaps we learned that people seem to go with unadorned mudflaps nowadays.
    • The “Skeleton Dance” cartoon is a big source of trauma for Phil's son every Halloween and has been since he was a toddler. He prefers the Donald Duck cartoon "trick or treat".


    ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
    trains * train shenanigans * “Weird Al” Yankovich * Juggalos * pot legalization * Mendocino County * organized crime * back market maple syrup * “Miracles” by Insane Clown Posse * McRib * Steven Seagal * karaoke * podcasts * boxer dogs * dog dicks * Nelly * Morrissey * nipple chafing * Michael Jackson * The Weekend * Chuck Schumer * Rod Lavers shoes * handkerchiefs * A-shirts * skorts * Cheech & Chong * zipper jeans worn with no underwear * Monopoly * gas-powered leaf blowers * man-buns * crossbows * the Confederate flag * Elmer Fudd * babe-silhouette mudflaps * Calvin pissing * Snow White * The Aquabats * Robbie Williams’ “Millennium” video * Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” video * speed limits * swap meet shirts * radio edits *

    58 min
  • 61. Uncanny Valley Effect, Bend Oregon

    Phil and Jake rank the emotional response known as the uncanny valley effect, and the city of Bend, Oregon on the List of Every Damn Thing.

    If you have something to add to the list, email it to [email protected] (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook).

    SHOW NOTES:

    • Masahira Mori is a robot expert and professor (the ASIMO robot was designed by one of his students).
    • It should never be doubted that Jake has read Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus.
    • The Final Fantasy movie is an oft-cited example of the uncanny valley effect. It's an animated movie made entirely with CGI, like a video game cut-scene, and audiences were unsettled by the creepy dead eyes.The Beowulf movie has a similar vibe.
    • Pokemon of course doesn't go for photorealism, that's why it's universally beloved.
    • In an episode of The Simpsons, Homer gets a pet lobster who looks to Homer like this, whereas other characters see the lobster like this.
    • Boston Dynamics makes robots that move in human-like ways.
    • There's a character in Ted Lasso played by Brett Goldstein (who just won an Emmy for the role). Many viewers thought this guy didn't exist and was a CGI creation. It seems ludicrous until you see this picture of his character, he looks like a FIFA video game character.
    • Breath of the Wild is a Nintendo game that's beautiful but not photorealistic. It bypasses the uncanny valley.
    • Star Wars tried CGI versions of Carrie Fisher and Peter Cushing in the same movie. It seems gross and scary to Phil (unlike C-3P0 and R2-D2).
    • Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation was a real human actor deliberately playing a robot who seemed vaguely unnatural. Phil missed the point of any stories about him because he looked different.
    • Charlie XCX is a pop star who's worked with PC Music which is a hard-to-explain collective / label that navigates the uncanny valley of music (if that exists) by making aggressively fake-sounding music and wallowing in artifice. The way she (or any public figure) manages her persona is tied up with UV-related ideas. In looking for a proper clip of her to link to we found this news story about how her record label is pushing her to be more "real" and she would prefer to be less real! 
    • Drum machines are like this too. The 808 kick drum doesn't sound real, that's why it's better than some other more real-sounding synthesizers.
    • Here's the biting dolls scene from Barbarella.
    • The Polar Express is a deeply cursed movie and features an uncanny valley hall-of-fame performance by Steven Tyler as a scatting Christmas elf.
    • The Matrix Reloaded had a big fight scene which had been promoted ahead of the release of the film but when the movie came out it was unsatisfying and weightless, and it didn't help that it came out around the same time as Kill Bill Vol. 1, which had a massive fight scene with real stakes and actual physicality.
    • REI’s headquarters is in Kent, WA (not Bend).
    • While in Bend, Jake picked up a hazy IPA from Immersion Brewing. It paired pretty well with the Impossible Burger that he got from the Incred-A-Bowl food truck.
    • Les Schwab was the founder of a chain of tire retailers in the Western US. Phil is probably conflating the permanent tire fire on the Simpsons with an event in the 90s in Oregon where there was a real tire fire and he assumed that because it involved tires and Oregon, it had something to do with Les Schwab.
    • Our vague recollection of some sort of some kind of lava cave attraction near Bend was surely about the Lava River Cave.


    ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
    Manscaped * Bride of Pinbot * Frozen * Arnold Schwarzenegger * Henry Fonda * CAPTCHA * Jessica Rabbit * Betty Boop * reality * robots * capitalism * daylight saving time * Howard the Duck * Aerosmith * Chris Gaines * Reeses Ultimate Peanut Butter Lover’s Cup * Theodore Roosevelt * wildfires * Eastern Oregon * Ukiah, CA * Deschutes Brewery * craft beer * Les Schwab Amphitheater * Oregon Public Broadcasting *

    43 min
  • 60. Theodore Roosevelt

    Phil and Jake are joined by friend and fellow Ted-head Phoebe Assenza for a deep-dive discussion and ranking of Theodore Roosevelt on the List of Every Damn Thing.

    If you have something to add to the list, email it to [email protected] (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook).

    Make sure to check out Phoebe’s Substack.

    SHOW NOTES:

    • Phil claims his sister (and recent EDT guest) Alexa Green said dry-cleaning is a mutually-agreed upon lie that holds society together. Phil takes it a step further and claims that laundry detergent might not be real either. He knows for a fact that dryer sheets aren't real. Phoebe disagrees as a laundry-doer in humid and smelly New York. 
    • Phil also says that peanuts should be marketed as the most crunchy form of peanut butter; peanuts become peanut butter once you chew them so they should be sold as a less messy form of peanut butter.
    • Here’s the History Vs. Theodore Roosevelt podcast that Jake listened to for show prep.
    • The Strenuous Life is a speech in which T.R. said that “danger, hardship, and bitter toil… win the splendid triumph.” As a sickly kid, Roosevelt’s father pushed him to challenge himself physically and it became the cornerstone of Teddy’s persona — walking into danger like the Battle of San Juan Hill, choosing a rugged life in the Badlands rather than seeking comfort in New York after the death of his mother and wife on the same night. 
    • William McKinley was assassinated by an anarchist. The guy who tried to assassinate Teddy Roosevelt said McKinley visited him in a dream and told him to do it.  
    • The "Man in the Arena" speech is actually called “Citizenship in a Republic”.
    • Roosevelt was a backer of the Simplified Spelling Board, who pushed to simplify spelling.
    • Grave-robbing was a big deal before someone thought up donating your body to science.
    • The Panama Canal was completed in 1914 (the Suez Canal was completed forty-five years earlier in 1869).
    • Turns out it was actually TR’s dad (TR senior) who was one of the founders of the American Museum of Natural History, not TR. 
    • Lamarckian evolution, as we discussed, is a discredited idea of evolution where acquired characteristics are inherited. The classic example is a giraffe. Lamarck explained that a giraffe's neck is long because its ancestors stretched their necks to get leaves and passed the longer necks along to their descendants.


    ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
    Mount Rushmore * eugenics * William H. Taft * the Rough Riders * The Spanish-American War * the Teddy Bear * bear hunting * Boss Tweed * Boss Nass * Gangs of New York * Leonardo DiCaprio * the U.S. National Parks Service * the Philippine-American War * Jenny McCarthy * Mark Twain * imperialism * Manifest Destiny * white supremacists * white privilege * Hank Williams Jr. * Hank Williams * Shakira * Native American allotment policies * Ice Cube * Barry Bonds * Steve Jobs * Monopoly * Tommy Bahama shirts * Grocery Outlet

    Below are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here):


    TOP TEN:

    1. Dolly Parton - person
    2. interspecies animal friends - idea
    3. sex - idea
    4. Clement Street in San Francisco - location
    5. Prince - person
    6. It’s-It - food
    7. Cher - person
    8. Pee-Wee Herman - fictional character
    9. Donald Duck - fictional character
    10. Hank Williams - person

    BOTTOM TEN:


    186. Jenny McCarthy - person
    187. Jon Voight - person
    188. Hank Williams, Jr - person
    189. British Royal Family - institution
    190. Steven Seagal - person
    191. McRib - food
    192. war - idea
    193. cigarettes - drug
    194. QAnon - idea
    195. transphobia - idea



    Theme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan, with audio help from Luke Janela. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan, Phil Green & Phoebe Assenza.

    Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

    Email us at [email protected]. 

    1 hr
  • 59. Beer & Wings, Aerosmith

    Phil, Jake and Jason are joined by our friend and long-time listener Thadd to rank beer & wings, and Aerosmith on the List of Every Damn Thing.

    If you have something to add to the list, email it to [email protected] (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook).

    SHOW NOTES:

    • You can find a link to the Joe Rogan Podcast on your own. 
    • Our meal included Field Roast Buffalo Wings, lemongrass vegan wings of indeterminate origin, Layonna Meatless Smoked Drumstick (Jake refers to these as Loma Linda, which is a different vegan food brand), and of course Buffalo Wild Wings. The beverages we imbibed were Modelo Chelada Mango Picante, Stubbe’s Flemish Red Ale, Juneshine Grapefruit Paloma Hard Kombucha, Athletic Brewing Co. Run Wild IPA (non-alcoholic), Fort Point Beer Co. SFizio Italian Style Pilsner and Adobe Creek Depersonalization IPA.
    • “Fried hard” wings are extra crispy. Chris Cotton explains this in his video. 
    • Takis Fuego are rated “Extreme”.
    • Aerosmith songs (and music videos) discussed include “Cryin’”, “Love In An Elevator” and “Dude Looks Like a Lady”. We also discuss the Run-DMC “Walk This Way” cover / collaboration.
    • Here’s the tongue piercing scene from The Sweetest Thing. It defies credulity for a few reasons.
    • Jason insists we include this link to Steven Tyler’s feet. 
    • FAO Schwarz is still active on the internets. Maybe if you let them know we sent you, they’ll finally give EDT a sponsor deal. 
    • We mention Chad Kroger and Nickelback's "fall from grace". Here’s a tweet of Guy Fieri watching Nickelback. 
    • “Do You Know the Way to San Jose” by Dionne Warwick
    • Taqueria Diana is a place you must eat at in New York City. It’s owned by friend-of-the-pod (and brother-of-Thadd) Matt LaRue. If you won’t be in NYC any time soon, their IG can hopefully tide you over for the time being. 


    ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
    vegetarianism & veganism * hops * non-alcoholic beers * Rush brand poppers * food pairings * avocados * kids in restaurants * Popeye’s chicken * dippin’ sauce * nail clippers * movie theater popcorn * Bon Jovi * rye bread * Armageddon * strip clubs * Bob Rock * transphobia * “Lola” by The Kinks * Desmond Child * Caitlin Jenner * Vince Neil * Alicia Silverstone *  * Lenny Kravitz * Bro-country * Barry Bonds * whale tail

    Below are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here):


    TOP TEN:

    1. Dolly Parton - person
    2. interspecies animal friends - idea
    3. sex - idea
    4. Clement Street in San Francisco - location
    5. Prince - person
    6. It’s-It - food
    7. Cher - person
    8. Pee-Wee Herman - fictional character
    9. Donald Duck - fictional character
    10. Hank Williams - person

    BOTTOM TEN:


    185. Jenny McCarthy - person
    186. Jon Voight - person
    187. Hank Williams, Jr - person
    188. British Royal Family - institution
    189. Steven Seagal - person
    190. McRib - food
    191. war - idea
    192. cigarettes - drug
    193. QAnon - idea
    194. transphobia - idea



    Theme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan, with audio help from Luke Janela. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan, Phil Green & Jason Marmor.

    Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

    Email us at [email protected]. 

    51 min
  • 58. Hard Seltzer, Kids In Restaurants, Anti-Diarrhea Medicine

    Phil and Jake are joined by Phil's sister Alexa Green to rank hard seltzer, kids in restaurants, and anti-diarrhea medicine on the List of Every Damn Thing.

    If you have something to add to the list, email it to [email protected] (or get at us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook).

    SHOW NOTES:

    • The City of Sebastopol, California has nothing on its official website about Russian settlement history. Phil is maybe thinking of Fort Ross when he tells the story of Russian settlers being chased off by gophers.
    • Here’s the article where Jake got most of his information about Zima.
    • Here’s a TV ad for Crystal Pepsi from 1993 featuring “Right Now” by Van Halen.
    • We talk about a lot of other beverages in the episode, including malt liquor, White Claw, craft beer, Mike’s Hard Lemonade, New York Seltzer, hard kombucha, non-alcoholic sparkling water, cold brew shandy and apple juice.
    • As for the sources of info on hard seltzer sales dropping, which Phil says on-mic he’d put in the show notes... Phil mostly half-read headlines and parroted them, and is pretending he knows what he’s talking about. Here's a story that goes into it a little bit. Journalists seem to want the trend to be over but maybe it's just a permanent part of our lives now like constant wood smoke in the fall.
    • The website for Biergarten in San Francisco is very basic. They seem to be closed until the pandemic is really really over, which is weird because it’s an all-outdoor space.
    • Casa Bonita in Denver seems to still be currently closed as well, but they are offering free backstage tours. The restaurant has recently been purchased by the creators of South Park who, like Jake, are from Colorado.
    • In England diarrhea is spelled "diarrhoea" It's awful just bottom tier spelling.
    • The Bristol stool scale is the standard method for stool.
    • “The Green, Green Grass of Home” is a bona fide standard, mostly in the realm of Country Music. The Tom Jones version is the one Alexa remembers best. Jake and Phil are more familiar with Merle Haggard’s take of the song. Jake correctly surmises that George Jones recorded the song as well. It has also been performed by Porter Wagoner, Jerry Lee Lewis, Charley Pride, Dean Martin, Johnny Cash, Johnny Paycheck, Joan Baez, The Grateful Dead, Elvis Presley, Gram Parsons & The Flying Burrito Brothers, Kenny Rogers, Nick Cave and many others.


    ALSO DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
    Caddyshack * Groundhog Day * REM’s Green album * Howard the Duck * Pancakes * the alcoholic beverage industry * masculinity * ruby red grapefruit * Triscuits * Steven Seagal * food poisoning * peanut butter ice cream * Tommy Bahama shirts * radio edits * Jimmy Buffett * Sammy Hagar * Fire Island * whale tail * online dating * families * zipper jeans worn with no underwear * sriracha * brief * Sorry! * Game of Death * skorts * Pepto-Bismol * The Matrix * metatextuality * firefighters

    Below are the Top Ten and Bottom Top items on List of Every Damn Thing as of this episode (for the complete up-to-date list, go here):


    TOP TEN:

    1. Dolly Parton - person
    2. interspecies animal friends - idea
    3. sex - idea
    4. Clement Street in San Francisco - location
    5. Prince - person
    6. It’s-It - food
    7. Cher - person
    8. Pee-Wee Herman - fictional character
    9. Donald Duck - fictional character
    10. Hank Williams - person

    BOTTOM TEN:


    183. Jenny McCarthy - person
    184. Jon Voight - person
    185. Hank Williams, Jr - person
    186. British Royal Family - institution
    187. Steven Seagal - person
    188. McRib - food
    189. war - idea
    190. cigarettes - drug
    191. QAnon - idea
    192. transphobia - idea



    Theme song by Jade Puget. Graphic design by Jason Mann. This episode was produced & edited by Jake MacLachlan, with audio help from Luke Janela. Show notes by Jake MacLachlan & Phil Green.

    Our website is everydamnthing.net and we're also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

    Email us at [email protected]. 

    50 min

About Every Damn Thing

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Phil and Jake rank everything.