Every Other Weekend

This episode was not at all what we had planned. As we were preparing to record, we both found ourselves struggling and frustrated with recent situations that resulted in us engaging with our healthcare system. We realized we had a lot to say about this and decided to share it with you. In the grand tradition of Seinfeld’s Festivus, welcome to Jen and Allison’s Airing of Grievances: The Medical Edition. As moms, the physical well-being of our families and of ourselves (so we can continue caring for our families) is paramount, but there are things about how health care works in this country that makes meeting that need a real challenge. We talk about the impact that has on us, on doctors, and our larger community. We talk about our privilege and how even then, it can be hard. And we realize that your co-parents can be part of your safety net and help care for you when you need it, making the work we do on our relationship 100% worth it! And if one of you can help us figure out a better way to do all the paperwork, drinks are on us. Stay well, friends.

Support the show

Follow us:
Website: everyotherweekendpodcast.com
Instagram: @everyotherweekendpodcast
Facebook: facebook.com/EveryOtherWeekendPodcast
Merch available at: Every Other Weekend Shop | Printify Pop-Up

When someone gets a big piece of pie, it by definition means someone else is getting a smaller piece. Fortunately, love isn’t pie. It’s more like your 401(k) - the more you invest, the more that comes back to you. In this episode, we talk about a time Thing 2 made a heartfelt confession to Jen and all the feelings that brought up for Jen. And how she decided to park her own crap and help him work through it. Our scarcity mindset around our kids’ love often creates competition. But what if we changed that mindset? By leaving space for the kids to share ALL their feelings and letting them know that it’s ok to love both of their moms, they  can actually love both of us more. They can love us, our exes and their new stepparents. And loving others doesn’t mean there’s LESS love for us. In fact, the more we let our kids love, the more opportunities we give them to practice expressing that love and guess who benefits from that? YOU. In that environment, our kids will know they are accepted, supported, and can express all their emotions without judgement. And that increases the love, which makes all of us richer in the end.

Support the show

Follow us:
Website: everyotherweekendpodcast.com
Instagram: @everyotherweekendpodcast
Facebook: facebook.com/EveryOtherWeekendPodcast
Merch available at: Every Other Weekend Shop | Printify Pop-Up

We all know how this is supposed to work. You meet, you fall in love, you get married, you enjoy some time as newlyweds and then those adorable little terrors called children come along and mess it all up. (We kid, we kid!) It can be really challenging for couples to give the time and priority to their relationship when the demands of children take up so much of our energy and focus. Sometimes looking back on fond memories of your time as a couple “before the kids” helps carry you through. So what do you do when there was NEVER a time before kids? Because when you are marrying into a blended family, the kids are ALWAYS part of the equation. We’ve already established that Jen does things out of order. Children were already there for the “honeymoon” stage of the relationship. And sometimes that means you gotta take a backseat. We talk about the emotional land mines you have to navigate and how you find your place in a family where the kids come before the falling in love and getting married. And it’s totally okay. Because adding up to more than two can equal a lot more love and happiness if you do the math right.

Support the show

Follow us:
Website: everyotherweekendpodcast.com
Instagram: @everyotherweekendpodcast
Facebook: facebook.com/EveryOtherWeekendPodcast
Merch available at: Every Other Weekend Shop | Printify Pop-Up

We deal with it every day and most of us want more of it, but we sure hate to talk about it. For all our societal glorification of the Benjamins, most of us clam up if we have to discuss our own cold, hard cash. A recent Wells Fargo survey indicated that 44% of people polled found personal finance was the most challenging topic to discuss with others. Death came in at 38%. Yep. We’d rather talk about DEATH than money. As hard as it is to think about discussing finances with your partner, imagine doing that in a blended family. Instead of two people, now you may have to talk about it with three or four people. If you’re the OG parent, you may have to follow up on money that’s coming to you late (or not at all!) or have tough discussions with your ex about expenses they don’t have front of mind. If you’re a step, you may find yourself having to buck up for stuff you don’t get a say-so in and your finances might get impacted by agreements that existed before you were in the picture. One thing we realize is that those conversations about money are certainly about the money but there’s usually a layer of other stuff underneath. And you need to figure that out and keep that on your radar when having those financial discussions. Where do all our messed up beliefs about money come from? Why are finances so scary to talk about? And how do you handle uncomfortable moments or resentments that come up in your blended family when you talk about money-related decisions? We try to hash it all out and encourage you to do so as well because as Biggie taught us, “Mo’ money, mo’ problems.”

Support the show

Follow us:
Website: everyotherweekendpodcast.com
Instagram: @everyotherweekendpodcast
Facebook: facebook.com/EveryOtherWeekendPodcast
Merch available at: Every Other Weekend Shop | Printify Pop-Up

In this episode, we talk about Jennifer’s first Spring Break trip with kids. In line with her “go big or go home” approach to life, she suggests taking the kids on cruise - out of the country. Hear how Allison got on board (see what we did there?) and agreed to this full on insanity. And learn how that bitch Karma showed up on this trip and made Jen literally fear for her life, because nothing will incite Allison’s murderous rage like you losing her baby boy on a cruise ship. More importantly, we talk about dealing with those pangs of jealousy, learning to put the kids first, and realizing that next time it should be a Moms Spring Break cruise. No kids and a 100 percent chance we will be signing up for the all-inclusive drink package.

Support the show

Follow us:
Website: everyotherweekendpodcast.com
Instagram: @everyotherweekendpodcast
Facebook: facebook.com/EveryOtherWeekendPodcast
Merch available at: Every Other Weekend Shop | Printify Pop-Up

Ride or Die – Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month:
Allison and Jen nurture their friendship by sharing events and activities together – a kid’s basketball tournament or band concert, trips, dinners, and COLONOSCOPIES. March is National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month so there’s no better time to share our experiences with this life saving screening procedure. We let the shit hit the fan, so to speak, as we tell all. You may be surprised to learn it’s really not as bad as you think and may be the best nap you’ve ever had. We share some really interesting facts and give you ideas for things you can do to take care of yourself and your loved ones. Only 2/3 of adults in the U.S. are on schedule with the recommended tests. Boo! We can do better than that, people. Let’s get that number up!
*** This episode is dedicated to Jen’s friend and high school alum Michelle who was diagnosed with colon cancer at the age of 42 and battled the disease for 8 years with unrelenting determination and moxie. You are so missed, Michelle. Michelle Gruener Insco, 1970 – 2020.

Support the show

Follow us:
Website: everyotherweekendpodcast.com
Instagram: @everyotherweekendpodcast
Facebook: facebook.com/EveryOtherWeekendPodcast
Merch available at: Every Other Weekend Shop | Printify Pop-Up

Or, maybe, not-so-great expectations. We go into our relationships - with romantic partners, with our exes, with our coparents - expecting certain things. These expectations can be about them, about us, about how things are going to play out. And what we find is that when we put those expectations out in the world - good OR bad - we can create a self-fulfilling prophecy. And then we're stuck with all the feelings including a lot of hurt, anger, resentment and disappointment when those expectations aren't met. Should we just stop expecting things altogether to avoid that? What's the difference between an expectation and a boundary and an agreement? We try to figure it out and also talk about healthy, reasonable expectations as well as some unrealistic ones that may be sabotaging your relationships at work, at home, with your kids, with your coparents, and with your partners. "Take nothing on its looks; take everything on evidence. There's no better rule." - Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

Support the show

Follow us:
Website: everyotherweekendpodcast.com
Instagram: @everyotherweekendpodcast
Facebook: facebook.com/EveryOtherWeekendPodcast
Merch available at: Every Other Weekend Shop | Printify Pop-Up

We finally found a holiday season that Allison is more invested in than Jennifer. It's Cuffing Season, that special time of year where everyone - and by everyone we mean The Hallmark Channel - tells you that you need a partner to get through the holidays. Cue ensuing panic and desperation that's as ugly as lights flickering at a bar around 2 AM. We discuss what drives our desire to pair up, some of the watchouts, and how cuffing season can lead to other relationship traps. Can we crowdsource future dates for Allison? Jen just wants to know where to buy Cuffing Season decorations for the house.  By the time this one ends, we're singing along to Queen Bey and saying, "Cuff it!"
Beyoncé - CUFF IT (Music Video) - Bing video

Support the show

Follow us:
Website: everyotherweekendpodcast.com
Instagram: @everyotherweekendpodcast
Facebook: facebook.com/EveryOtherWeekendPodcast
Merch available at: Every Other Weekend Shop | Printify Pop-Up

Dating. Sure, it can be all fun and games in your youth. But as you get into your 40s and 50s and especially if you are considering dating post-divorce, it's more like the dating PAIN. Things get more complicated, there's a lot more factors and people to consider, and it can be tough to figure out how to meet people - especially if internet dating makes your skin crawl.  As we get older, we know ourselves better which can be a great gift when trying to find a partner. But this knowledge may mean looking at a smaller pool of candidates. How do you differentiate between compromise and settling? How do you figure out boundaries and non-negotiables while still leaving space for unexpected possibilities? Can Allison solve all this madness with a spreadsheet?

And most important question: Is Allison going to end up with the UPS guy?

 You'll need wine for this one. We've haven't figured out, but we'll give you a lot to think about!

Support the show

Follow us:
Website: everyotherweekendpodcast.com
Instagram: @everyotherweekendpodcast
Facebook: facebook.com/EveryOtherWeekendPodcast
Merch available at: Every Other Weekend Shop | Printify Pop-Up

Habla espanol? Parlez-vous francais? Regardless of what words you use, one of the most important ways you communicate is your love language. The five love languages identified by Gary Chapman have become a pretty trendy topic. It’s important to know how YOU give and want to receive love and just as important to know how your partner gives and receives love. A Kendra Scott delivery around Valentine’s Day demonstrates - big surprise – that Jen and Allison have very different love languages. How has this impacted our relationships? Can you have a successful relationship with someone whose love languages are different than yours or is that a deal breaker? And perhaps most importantly, we talk about how love languages are not limited to our romantic relationships because if we learned anything from watching Love, Actually, it’s that love is all around.

Here's a free online test to help determine your love languages!
The Love Language™ Quiz (5lovelanguages.com)

Support the show

Follow us:
Website: everyotherweekendpodcast.com
Instagram: @everyotherweekendpodcast
Facebook: facebook.com/EveryOtherWeekendPodcast
Merch available at: Every Other Weekend Shop | Printify Pop-Up