It’s easy to add an appointment into your calendar.  I invite you to reflect on whether some of those tasks actually require more time because of the energy that is needed to complete the task and recover. 

Transcript:

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I wanted to talk about tasks and energy.  I love the concept of an ideal week.  I have been obsessed for years about this.  But I don’t think it’s fair to ourselves to create ideal weeks if we haven't identified how we use our energy.  It’s so easy to block time for this task or that task.  But what good is that if that’s not when our bodies tell us this is the right time for this specific task.  

I would encourage you to think about your big recurring tasks and what energy they require.  

Start by asking yourself: with what times of day am I most aligned for the task.  For example, for me, any deep work or writing, I’m best in the early morning.  So I like to block my morning time for creativity.  

Second, ask yourself how much energy this will take.  Have you ever been thinking a lot or making a lot of decisions and you feel exhausted.  Like you cannot do another thing.  Yeah.  That’s when you know the task takes more than the actual hours to complete.  

For example, if I need to prepare for a podcast interview.  It may take me 1 hour to prepare, 30 minutes to complete the interview and 30-60 more minutes to recover from the energy expended to be my best.   For me, a zoom call is great in the afternoon lull, I feed off connection, so an afternoon appointment works well for me, because it gives me energy instead of depleting it.   If you are a coach, you may experience that you need considerable downtime after each coaching session.   I think sometimes we don’t give ourselves enough time to recover and manage our energy, so knowing what works for you is so critical to managing your day.  These are great Intentional Margins® to put into your calendar.  

So next time you are managing your calendar, I invite you to look at the time and energy it takes to complete the task and perhaps add a little Intentional Margin into your day.  

Until next time, remember Kindness is Contagious, spreading a smile goes a long way. If you want to get the podcast delivered to your inbox, just subscribe at https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness.

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

When a daily Intentional Margin isn’t big enough. 

Transcript:

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I was talking to a friend two days ago about how she was using the concept Intentional Margins® in a BIG way.  This friend is a loyal listener, Michelle living in Australia. Hi Michelle, thank you for our chat, your insights in inspiration for this episode of Everyday Happiness. 

Michelle was sharing that she found herself wanting a larger Intentional Margin than just some time throughout the day.  So she and her husband adventured into the countryside to a tiny house for one night, away from where they are living in the city. 

This got me thinking about how we each get to identify how we need our recovery time when life feels so busy.  Perhaps there is a larger scale Intentional Margin that is date-night to reconnect with your partner, a ½ day babysitter for the kids each week, a night out or even a weekend away.  All of these ideas are part of recovery, if that’s what recovery and margins look like for you.  

Since that conversation, what I have been chewing on is the idea of bookends and boundaries.  I mentioned in the last episode how February felt so hectic.  And as I reflect I wonder if it is because my boundaries were blurred, I said yes to a lot more.  And perhaps, the bookends to the tasks, the projects, the commitments were cloudy. Maybe I didn’t give myself enough time to rest on the weekends, so the days ran together.  Have you ever done that?  Have you ever started a Monday feeling like you need another Sunday?  

In today's episode I want to invite you to reflect on where your time stressors are and what helps you recover from what is inevitably a busy and abundant day or week or even month.  

And if you feel so inclined, we would be so grateful if you shared this podcast with a friend, so we can continue to spread happiness and encourage more Intentional Margins® in all of our lives.  

And remember, kindness is contagious, sprinkle a little kindness today. 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

When February felt like the wheels were about to come off the bus, I did what I am calling a “decision dump” and it helped me to gather my thoughts and triage my most important decisions to get through what was already a hectic month. I explain the stress and process in this episode.     

Transcript:

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I've got a confession.  Even the best laid plans don’t always work out as expected.  In February, I put too much on my plate.  I didn’t leave enough room for my very important Intentional Margins® and I felt stressed.  And honestly, I did it to myself.  I had a couple home improvement projects that I tried to shove into a tight window.  I traveled for 2 long weekends.  I had decisions I needed to make, and for me, it wasn’t enough time to deliberate.  I was left with the feelings of stress which manifested into some general anxiety and overall short-tempered behavior.   

My daily big 3, which are the three tasks I prioritize to get done each day, was more like a big 7, and frankly, that’s just too much.  I said yes to too many things and I felt it.  

As projects wrapped up in late February and with an intention to not sabotage myself again, March arrived with a renewed sense of calm.  

This got me thinking about how stress and happiness are so intertwined.  We live in such a high stress, high productivity society, I wonder if that is ultimately hurting our ability for achieving fulfilled happiness?  

I know that for me, one of my highest values is “order”.  When things feel in order, I feel calm.  This looks like having a tidy kitchen and living room.  This looks like having a Big 3 roadmap for my day.  This looks like having my calendar in check - with white space.  

I guess this episode is just to say that we all have those times, those seasons when things feel stressful and a little crazy, but it’s important to remember that this is a season.  This too shall pass and we get to wake up in the morning with a desire to find harmony in our day.  To be busy and balanced, by prioritizing the right things right now.  Sometimes it takes a month to go through the hectic.  And that’s ok.  With all the tools I have, if I can still feel stressed, then please know you are not alone when you are feeling all the overwhelmed feelings.  I get it.  

But even in the most stressful times, I believe there is room for happiness.  One way that helped me was to brain dump all of my “decisions”.  Everyone talks about a brain dump of all the tasks you have to do.  I get that.  That’s a great idea.  But what I am suggesting is a list of decisions you have to make.  I found that the feelings of stress, unbalance and fatigue were coming from a large amount of decisions I needed to make to keep the wheels on the bus.  So I invite you to make a decision brain dump if you are feeling stressed and see if triaging those decisions would help you find your harmony.   

As always, kindness is contagious and I hope you are inspired to spread a little kindness today. 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

Today I’m chatting about how I create Intentional Margins® when I have time in the car, which seems like all the time these days running children from activities.  

Transcript:

Welcome to Everyday Happiness, where we create lasting happiness in two minutes a day through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

I'm your host, Katie Jefcoat, and I wanted to share with you an Intentional Margin® that I created just the other day. So this past Wednesday, I had to drive my daughter to ice skating lessons and usually it's a longer lesson. I drop her off and then she does her lesson. She does free skate and then I pick her up later. 

But this particular day, it was just a 30-minute lesson so I knew I had about 30 minutes of downtime. What was I going to do? Well, my 13 year old daughter had already requested that I not go watch this particular lesson because she was just starting a new series and she wasn't 

feeling very confident. So if you have a 13 year old, you know exactly what this feels like. 

So I knew that I had to stay in the car, so I was intentional and thought, what am I going to do for these 30 minutes? Instead of the scroll hole of social media and the news, I thought, I'm going to use this and make it a priority to create my Intentional Margins®.

So it looks like this.

I knew that driving my daughter to ice skating was a priority. It's very important to me to be able to be there to do these things. And my to-do list did not go away and still feels like it's longer than anyone could ever imagine and really accomplish. So I put on my sticky note three things that I wanted to do while I was in the car before I got on social media. 

And it was to make a list to go to Target because I knew I was going to Target the next day and I didn't have a list yet. I had some things jotted down, but I needed to really think about why I was 

going to Target and what I needed. So I needed to make a list.

I also needed to create a Facebook birthday post for my little guy—it was his birthday. So I needed to get that done and it was already five o'clock in the afternoon. 

And then I wanted to review my full focus planner for the day and then look at it for the next day and make sure that my appointments were aligned and that I didn't have anything wonky going on that I wasn't aware of.

So those are the three things that I decided to make a priority in my 30 minutes before I started down the scroll hole of social media and the news and all the things which I love to do. I mean, social media is like my virtual coffee shop, so I love to see what everyone is doing and comment and get into the DMs and all that stuff. But I also have responsibilities. I have this to-do list.

So I use those 30 minutes to be productive and then also do some fun stuff like scroll social.

So I just wanted to share that with you in case you're thinking about how do I create an intentional margin or how do I use Intentional Margins®?

It's not always knitting and all these fun things. Sometimes it's just how do I better manage my time so that I can do the things that matter most when I have that other time —these little pockets of time, like time confetti, you can get a lot done.

So I hope it encourages you to think about what you're going to do when you have your next pocket of time. Take care, everyone.

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

Like a traditional 401(k), but instead of financial investments, we can make happiness deposits into our happiness 401(k) that will yield great returns in our 70s and 80s.  And, like any investment, it’s never too early or too late to start.  This is part 3 of the 3 part Happiness 401(k) series. 

Transcript:

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and yesterday we talked about this exciting research that we can invest in our happiness 401(k) and there are seven specific buckets that affect our happiness into our 70-80s that we can start to fill now.  Those seven categories are: smoking, drinking alcohol, body weight, exercise, emotional resilience, education (lifelong learning), and relationships.  Yesterday we covered the first 3 and today we dive into the last 4, so let’s get going. 

The fourth way we can invest in our Happiness 401(k) is to get out there and move our bodies.  Prioritizing movement into our lives every single day.  The easiest way to do this is walking daily and making a habit of walking will fill up your bucket. 

The fifth bucket is to practice your coping mechanisms now. The researchers are saying that we are all going to be distressed and have loss and the earlier we can find healthy ways to deal with life’s inevitable distresses, the more prepared we’ll be when the inevitable happens in our 80s.  Arthur Brooks mentioned in his article that “This means working consciously—perhaps with assistance from spiritual practices or even therapy—to avoid excessive rumination, unhealthy emotional reactions, or avoidance behavior.” 

The sixth bucket was music to my ears, keep learning. My father in law is constantly doing a sudoku puzzle or reading.  I think the idea is to have an active mind.  Maybe you have a hobby you like to learn about or a subject you are interested in.  The science would suggest that you should purse those learning endeavors, it will help build your happiness 401(k).

And finally, the seventh bucket is to cultivate meaningful, stable, reliable long-term relationships now.  For most people, this might mean a life-partner, but this also includes relationships with your friends and family.  And I would argue this fills your happiness bucket right now too.  Meaningful relationships are a cornerstone to fulfilled happiness.  We need people that we can count on in our lives.  

So, there you have it.  Seven ways to make deposits into your happiness 401(k).   And, if you want to make a kindness deposit, we’d be so grateful if you would share this podcast with a few of your friends so we can encourage more happiness and kindness in the world around us. 

This episode  was inspired by: https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/02/happiness-age-investment/622818/ and https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11384887/ 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

Like a traditional 401(k), but instead of financial investments, we can make happiness deposits into our happiness 401(k) that will yield great returns in our 70s and 80s.  And, like any investment, it’s never too early or too late to start.  This is part 2 of the 3 part Happiness 401(k) series. 

Transcript:

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and yesterday we talked about this exciting research that we can invest in our happiness 401(k) and there are seven specific buckets that affect our happiness into our 70-80s that we can start to fill now.  Those seven categories are: smoking, drinking alcohol, body weight, exercise, emotional resilience, education (lifelong learning), and relationships.

Today and tomorrow we’re talking about how we can fill or top-off these buckets. 

The first seems pretty obvious in the 21st century.  Don’t smoke—or if you already smoke, quit now. Any smoke-free years you can put into the happiness bucket will help.  I’m watching my step-father in his 60’s - who was a smoker and quit almost two decades ago - struggle with COPD, often a smoker's lung disease, although, you don’t have to be a smoker to get it and even if you are a smoker, you might not get it, but it’s a long painful disease. If our 401(k) goal is to be happy-well, then we shouldn’t be smokers.  And if you just can’t quit, then investing in these other buckets will be really important to you.

The second bucket is alcohol.  The study basically says to watch your drinking and if you over-consume or abuse alcohol, it can be a strong predictor of winding up sick-sad on the 401(k) happiness scale.  Arthur Brooks also cites additional research that indicates that not only the correlation between smoking and drinking that the Harvard study makes, but just too much alcohol by itself shows powerful predictors of eventual sadness. Now, what’s too much?  The research really focuses on abuse and severe drinking problems.  So I think you’re safe to have that drink at night.  

The third bucket is maintaining a healthy body weight.  This is so hard for so many of us Americans these days.  With the rise in fast food, the hustle culture and frankly, less time to prepare a meal and sit around the dining room table.  But the research is compelling that a diet of fruits and vegetables and avoiding intense restrictions is the best way to make deposits in the healthy body weight bucket of our happiness 401(k). 

Tomorrow, we’ll talk about the final 4 buckets, the things we can invest in now to increase our happiness 401(k) for our 70s and 80s. 

This episode  was inspired by: https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/02/happiness-age-investment/622818/ and https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11384887/ 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

Like a traditional 401(k), but instead of financial investments, we can make happiness deposits into our happiness 401(k) that will yield great returns in our 70s and 80s.  And, like any investment, it’s never too early or too late to start.  This is part 1 of the 3 part Happiness 401(k) series. 

Transcript:

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and as we approach tax day here in the US, I’ve been reflecting about what makes me the most happy and am I investing in the right things for the long term fulfilled happiness I’m after.    

Arthur Brooks, Atlantic contributing editor and professor at Harvard says “Each of us has something like a “Happiness 401(k)” that we invest in when we are young, and that we get to enjoy when we are old. And just as financial planners advise their clients to engage in specific behaviors—make your saving automatic; think twice before buying that boat—we can all teach ourselves to do some very specific things at any age to make our last decades much, much happier.” 

Wow, this is great news, right? 

This brings us back to a Harvard study we’ve talked about before on this podcast.  It’s where Harvard started following a group of men from Harvard in 1938 from youth to adulthood, asking every so often their happiness scale, among other things to understand their well-being.  They all had different walks of life, relationships, life goals.  The study has evolved and the participants have expanded to more than just men from Harvard. As this study has evolved and the participants have aged, the researchers began to categorize people on a spectrum of “happy-well” or “sad-sick”.  Indicating that physical health was a clear determining factor in someone's happiness.  

As the researchers dove in, they discovered the happy-well senior citizens did have some resources that were out of their control, generational wealth, good DNA, long-lived ancestors.  But what is fascinating is that some of this is under our control and as Arthur Brooks says, “[this] can teach us a great deal about how to plan for late-life happy-wellness.” 

Using this treasure trove of data from the Harvard study, two researchers showed in 2001 that we can control seven buckets that fill our happiness 401(k), they are: smoking, drinking alcohol, body weight, exercise, emotional resilience, education (lifelong learning), and relationships. 

Tomorrow we’ll talk about how to fill these buckets. So don’t miss it.  Make sure you are subscribed wherever you listen to podcasts.  

This episode  was inspired by: https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/02/happiness-age-investment/622818/ and https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11384887/ 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

How a latte evokes connection. 

Transcript:

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and in late 2019 (I think, I could be wrong on my dates) my regular Starbucks moved a block down the street.   Instead of being located in a strip mall, it was now a stand-alone building with a drive-through,  The only drive-through in my town.    I was there so often that I knew a lot of the baristas by name. I always ordered the same thing.  They’d start crafting my coffee while I was still in line to order.  Now that’s service.  My drink was so unique that if my husband even went to get me a drink, they would put my name on the cup.  

There is one particular barista, Jacob that I am very fond of.  He knew my name, and I knew his.  He’d ask how I was and what’s new.  

Then, the pandemic hit.  I didn’t go to Starbucks for at least a year.  By this time, the new Starbucks that was the stand alone building and the fancy drive through had a well-oiled machine of crafted coffee beverages.  

This past week, I mobile ordered my drink and drove through the Starbucks line.  I got to the place where they take your order and Jacob was on the other side of the talking speaker.  He said “welcome to Starbucks can I take your order” and I said, “Hi Jacob, it’s Katie”, and he replied, “I have your drink”.  

We locked eyes at the window, like two lost friends.  He noticed my “not so new” car and I noticed his new glasses.  My cup was filled with human connection, kindness, and thoughtfulness.  Only a moment,  but it’s the moments that matter.  I believe in my heart that your soul remembers kindness and the ripple effect is real.  Today, Jacob was spreading kindness and that makes my heart happy.  I hope this inspires you to share a smile or some kindness today.  

If you are enjoying this podcast, spread some kindness and share this with 3 friends.  This is how we are all part of a bigger ripple effect of kindness.  Remember, kindness is contagious.  

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

When capitalism and hustle lead to despair and anxiety.  Is this where we are headed? If so, how do we turn this train around?   

Transcript:

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I just ran across an article that was just published a couple days ago, where Dr. Laurie Santos, researcher and Yale professor opines on the fact that there are hundreds of happiness books, yet so many people still feel unhappy.  She says it’s “because it takes work” to be happy.  But what was fascinating about this news piece is that Dr. Santos blames the lack of happiness in America on “the ‘capitalism culture' … that’s telling us to buy things and a hustle-achievement culture that destroys [her] students in terms of anxiety."    

I read this and felt like an Oprah ah-ha moment was falling into my lap.  The last 5 or so episodes we have been talking about satisfaction, consumerism and wanting less but our minds playing tricks on us and thinking whatever it is we want will make us happy.  

In episodes 178-182 we dove into how our minds play tricks on us.  We almost can’t help it, we really do believe the thing we want will make us happy.  Our instincts are just totally misguided when we are really thinking about lasting happiness.  Which is why we have to really take a step back when making decisions and think about it more. 

And just to blow your mind, this same article, linked in the show notes, said that a “recent paper by Matt Killingsworth, a senior fellow at the Warton School at the University of Pennsylvania who studies happiness in humans, showed if you increase from income from $100,000 to $600,000, your happiness goes up from a score from 64 to 65, according to the news outlet.” 

Which quite honestly is like nothing.  So many experts in the field of lasting happiness say that gratitude and kindness will increase your happiness way more.   

I mean, I won't turn down an extra ½ a million bucks, but the researchers value that against what you need to do to earn that money.  Less sleep, less quality time with the people you love. So today, I invite you to write a gratitude or do something kind for someone and take control of boosting your own happiness, and you might just boost someone else's too.

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

Pondering the question of whether the principles of minimalism inform aspects of happiness.  

Transcript:

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I am making a conscious effort to stop accumulating.  One thing that 2 years into a global pandemic has taught me is how little we need.  And how much excess we have.  There is this theory that the less you own the happier you will be.  If material items don’t matter, you don’t seek them out.  You are not in a state of constantly wanting for more, like we talked about yesterday.  

Even the book, The Life Changing Magic Of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo has gotten so much attention they made a TV show about it.  It got me thinking.  Will less stuff bring me more happiness?  My gut reaction is telling me is YES!  Less stuff will make me happier.  Less to clean, less to tidy, less to keep up with, less decisions to make -- for example, what to wear? 

I am also really trying to have less email.  For so many of us, email seems like the one thing that no one ever feels totally caught up on.  For me, it can often be a running to-do list of things I need to take care of.   

I’ve really been thinking about how I create a more simple life for myself - while still nurturing my ambition.  It’s the harmony of it all.  Ironically, I think Intentional Margins is the filter that gives me the clarity on where to start.  Setting my priorities first.  Committing to less stuff, less obligation, less email, less time in front of screens.  More time with people who I love. More time on activities that bring me fulfilled happiness.  Being busy and balanced is achievable when we align our priorities for this season of life and that has me excited.   

Do you think less stuff would make you happier?  Do you have any tips on decluttering? As I process this, I’d love to continue this discussion with you.  Just send me a DM on Instagram @everydayhappinesswithkatie 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/