Yesterday we talked about what synthetic happiness is.  And today, we dig a little deeper into ways we get to create it for ourselves.  I share with you how I did this, unbeknownst to me, when I was a kid.  

Transcript:

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and yesterday we talked about synthetic happiness and just how cool it is.  The short answer is that whether it’s natural or synthetic happiness, it does the same thing. The power is within us, to create happiness if we just aren’t getting a lot of the natural kind these days. 

We have the capacity to manufacture the very thing we are chasing.  Happiness.  We can do it through synthetic happiness,which scientifically has the exact same benefits as natural happiness.   We do this with our thoughts.  When something isn’t perfect, force yourself into gratitude and look for the silver lining.  Now, depending on the situation.  This may not be easy.  It’s not foolproof.  Bad things happen.  Really bad things.  And we can’t always see the silver lining right away. That’s ok.  Try on something smaller. 

As an adolescent, I didn’t feel like I belonged.  I grew up in a small town in MN, 2006 people in the middle of a cornfield.  I felt like I had no way out.

As humans, we yearn to BELONG, It is scientifically in our DNA.

The emotional trauma of not feeling like you had good friends or people that really understand you can be devastating. 

What I did, unbeknownst to me at the time. Was manufactured synthetic happiness.  

The “glass is always ½ full”   Like I mentioned, manufactured, synthetic happiness brings you the same joy as organic happiness.  I inadvertently trained myself to create synthetic happiness, it’s now my human nature.  I know that if I can do it, you can too.  

My way out of a place I didn’t feel like I fit in was big dreams of law school, where I thought, was a way to make enough money, to have choices.  I did achieve my dream of becoming a lawyer - but I had this tug on me, there was something else. 

So while it was a means to an end in a season of life, it wasn’t all of my life.  I mean, now, I’m here, with you, talking about happiness, which completely lights my hair on fire.  

So, today, I invite you to make some lemonade and be thoughtful about the way you think of something that may not be perfectly happy right now.

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Good news friends!  We can create our own synthetic happiness.  Let’s dig into what this means.  

Transcript:

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and what we know from science is that synthetic happiness brings you the same joy as natural happiness. 

It’s pretty simple actually.  

Natural happiness is what we get when we get what we want or worked for. It’s like winning the lottery, getting a perfect parking spot, winning the race - when we get what we want, we get a jolt of happiness.   

Synthetic happiness is what we make when we don’t get what we want. I think it’s basically the glass ½ full analogy. 

In Dan Gilbert’s 2004 TED Talk “The Surprising Science of Happiness.” - He’s a Harvard professor and scientist.  He shares stories of people who had bad experiences but said they were happier for them.  

For example, after a scandal forced him to resign in disgrace as Speaker of the House, former Congressman Jim Wright was quoted saying: “I am so much better off, physically, financially, mentally, and in almost every way.”

And, Pete Best, who was the original drummer for the Beatles – and would have continued to be had the rest of the band not dropped him for Ringo Starr – said: “I’m happier than I would have been with the Beatles.”

You hear that and think it’s crazy.  But what if we looked at our own lives. 

One example is how we do this all of the time with the stock market.  We see our stocks rise 7% and we’re happy.  Natural happiness.  And then, at some point, if you’ve been in this game long enough, you see your portfolio drop, maybe even 10%.  And you think.  That sucks, but at least is wasn’t 20%.  We humans try to find the silver lining.  Some of us are better than others.  Some of us get there quicker than others.  But we all have the capacity to see the silver lining.  To see the glass as ½ full.  Oftentimes we don't even realize we are doing it.  

Until next time, click that subscribe button, write a 5-star review and let’s connect over on social @ everydayhappinesswithkatie. 

Source: Dan Gilbert, TED 2004, “The Surprising Science of Happiness”.

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Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

Picking up from the past two days of defining happiness, today, we talk about “purpose” as it relates to the second prong of our happiness definition. 

Transcript:

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today we’re talking about purpose.  Part of the second prong to creating fulfilled happiness.  

Purpose is how you feel when you are doing the thing you are doing.  This can be some academic research, your work, building a business or a community, being a parent.   

Arthur Brooks says that long lasting happiness comes from human connection, and he adds productive work.   He says, after reviewing so much scientific research, that it was overwhelmingly clear that a “productive human endeavour creates a sense of purpose in life”.  

He says “What makes work meaningful is not the kind of work it is, but the sense it gives you that you are earning your success and serving others.” 

So it’s not the actual title of being a lawyer or a doctor or a teacher or a barista, it’s the feeling you get when you are doing what you enjoy.  

And, if you are enjoying this podcast, smash the subscribe button and leave a 5-star review.  It helps us spread more kindness into the world and we invite you to be a part of that.  If you want the audio and transcript delivered to your inbox, you can subscribe at www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness.

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

Picking up from yesterday’s happiness definition, we take a deep dive into “satisfaction” as it relates to the second prong of our happiness definition. 

Transcript:

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and Arthur Brooks is an accomplished scientist and professor at the Harvard Business School and he says SATISFACTION = WHAT YOU HAVE ÷ WHAT YOU WANT.

This is so true.  It’s what we tell our kids all the time.  Be happy with what you have.  Brooks opines that so many of us desperately go about life trying to gather up more “wants” trying to achieve higher levels of satisfaction by increasing our wants (the numerator in this division equation).  He says the cycle of work-spend-work-spend is like being on a treadmill.  It’s never enough. 

What he says the secret is, is to focus on what you have (the denominator in this division equation).  We talked about this in Episode 23 about the reverse bucket list. So, decreasing the wants in our lives and focusing on the haves, gives our brain a chance to see happiness and satisfaction because there are fewer wants taking our attention away from what we already have.  Start by making a list of what you have, if that seems too daunting, perhaps start with a simple gratitude list.  We know that gratitude is a great boost for happiness and then work your way into a haves list.  I think you’ll be surprised what shows up for you. 

Tomorrow we are going to explore purpose, which is part of the second prong of the happiness definition. 

And, if you are enjoying this podcast, smash the subscribe button and leave a 5-star review.  It helps us spread more kindness into the world and we invite you to be a part of that.  If you want the audio and transcript delivered to your inbox, you can subscribe at www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness.

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

Today, we define happiness as the cornerstone of our podcast.  

Transcript:

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and the happiness scientists have gone round and round about how to define happiness and Arthur Brooks, really encapsulates what others have been saying and Sonja Lyubomirsky elaborates on this well established definition. 

The scientists seem to agree that happiness is a two-pronged definition.  First, happiness is emotions, like joy, contentment, love, these positive emotions with the second prong of satisfaction and purpose.  You need both.  Together, you get well-rounded, fulfilled happiness.   

And, in her 2007 book The How of Happiness, positive psychology researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky elaborates, describing happiness as “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.”

This is where I think people mis-step.  We feel pretty solid on what emotions create happiness for us, but we miss the boat on the second prong.  This satisfaction and purpose prong.  This meaning, as Sonja Lyubomirsky calls out as a critical component to happiness.  It’s clear, it’s not just emotion that will create fulfilled happiness.  

Tomorrow we are going to dive into the Satisfaction component of the second prong of happiness.  

In the meantime, we’d love for you to subscribe and write us a 5-star review.  It’s reviews from listeners that help us get more visibility and organically share happiness with others.  And, if you would like episodes delivered to your inbox, you can subscribe at www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

It’s important to reflect.  Finding the time in the hustle and bustle of daily life seems like finding a needle in a haystack, but reflection is key to intentionally moving forward in 2022.

Transcript:

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and today I invite you to reflect on the last three episodes about habits.  What I’ve discovered personally is that this is not something we can jump into without some thought. 

Ask yourself: who is the type of person I want to be? Or put another way, what is the identity I want to reinforce? 

Then, ask yourself:  What is the system or habit that I can design that carries me toward that identity of the person I wish to become? 

I am a writer.  I am healthy.  I am strong.  I am happy.  I am kind.  I am [fill in the blank].  This is where you get to be you.  Where you get to decide where to put your focus right now and create tiny habits that reinforce your desired identity. 

Ok friends, get to work.  Let me know what your identity aspiration is over in the DMs or on stories by tagging @everydayhappinesswithkatie and I will be sure to reply and share mine with you. 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

Goals are so different from habits.  Knowing the difference is the key to creating your ideal habits for a happy new year.  

Transcript:

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and yesterday we talked about identity habits and James Clear’s framework for creating identity habits.  He’s a genius.  But he also opines on goal setting, which makes so much sense, especially as we enter the new year.  

My identity habit is who I want to be.  I am going to use the example of getting healthy in the new year, since so many people think about that this time of year.  So the identity is I am a healthy person. 

The goal might be to lose weight or increase your strength or flexibility.  If you have a goal of going to the gym 4 times a week you can embody the person of not missing workouts.   Maybe the habit is showing up, even if it’s for 10 minutes.  You show up.  

You can even ask yourself, what choice would a healthy person make?  

James Clear says that you let the behavior lead the way and you will start to believe your aspiration for yourself that you are trying to achieve.  For example, start small.  Do one push up every day.  Do one minute of meditation every day.  It’s this idea that over time, you are a meditater.  You don’t need to start at 30 minutes a day.  Just start at a minute. Then, the more evidence you have, the more your mind will believe that you are the person you want to be.  

The reason habits matter is because it provides proof of how you want to think about yourself.  James Clear says “your life bends in the direction of your habits”.  Goal setting is a destination.  Habits are an identity.  

So, I invite you to think about your aspirations for 2022 and create your own identity habit.  

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

Want to know what boosts happiness?  Good happiness habits - the ones you tailor for yourself will have the longevity you desire. 

Transcript:

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and after the episode yesterday about routines and tips we can do to increase our happiness in 2022, I wanted to touch on habits.  I love habits.  I love routine.  I love a good system.  And I especially enjoy the work of James Clear who wrote the book Atomic Habits. 

What I find so fascinating is how James Clear looks at habits and how this perfectly fits into yesterday's episode. He says the first question you need to ask yourself is: who is the person I want to be? And then, the habits flow from there.  So perhaps you want to be a person that prioritizes happiness.  Well, how do you do that?  Your habit could be practicing gratitude and appreciation daily.  Or, reciting daily positive affirmations.   

I am a person that prioritizes happiness in support of my mental health.  I do this by practicing daily gratitude.   

James Clear says that “every action we take is a vote for the type of person we wish to become?”  Wow, that’s powerful stuff, right?   He believes that our habits are how we embody our particular identity.  

This can be any sort of identity. I am a writer.  I am strong.  I am healthy.   The idea is that your behaviors will be the stepping stones for your identity.  Good or bad, we all have these habits. We may not be keenly aware of them, but reflecting can shed some light into what behavior you may want to adjust to live more into that identity you want to achieve in 2022.  

Tomorrow we are going to dive into goals and identity habits so we can start this new year off right. 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/

According to Natalie Dattilo, PhD, these 5 practices will boost your happiness. 

Transcript:

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and last week my friend Jenna sent me an article about what to do to boost happiness before the end of the year.  It quoted Natalie Dattilo, PhD, licensed psychologist and professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School who said  "Happiness doesn’t just happen. Routine and planned activation of the pleasure and reward centers of the brain is required to feel good and to preserve our ability to feel good in the future."

She’s big on routine, on habits, and I’ve gotta say, this is right up my alley. This positive psychology Harvard professor had 5 habits to create now, in 2022 to help us boost our Happiness. 

The first is to say a positive affirmation.  If you are like me, and you don’t know where to start, then I encourage you to start with what my spiritual mentor Kate Butler says.  I am happy and grateful that [fill in the blank].  I [fill in the blank] with ease and grace.  You can write this affirmation on a post-it note, make it your home screen on your phone, write it in your daily journal page, wherever you keep it is up to you, you just need to do it and believe in the words you are saying. 

Second, assess your values.  Who do you want to be? How do you want to show up for yourself and others? 

Third is similar, it’s finding your why.  This is reminding yourself why you put in the effort to do all the things you are doing at this time.  It’s so easy to get on auto-pilot, this snaps you back for a moment to check-in and ask yourself why these tasks are important and why you want to continue to do all the things. 

Fourth is accepting your life exactly as it is right now.  Dr. Dattilo says that  "Radical self-acceptance can be powerfully transformative and essential for authentic and long-lasting happiness." The article points out that “from this place of radical self-acceptance, you'll be able to make value-driven changes to your life without being hard on yourself.” 

Finally, something we talk a lot about here at Everyday Happiness is appreciating what you have.  This is in the form of gratitude and also knowing that the things will never make us happy long term.  

So, there you have it. Five tips to a happy year. 

This episode was inspired by this article. 

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And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

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Do you have a word of the year?  I’m still working on mine. But that isn’t stopping me from finalizing my 22 for 2022 and so much more!  

Transcript:

Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2 minutes a day,  through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life. 

I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and oh my gosh, I feel like a new person.  2022 is going to be an epic year, for everyone, I just know it.  

In episode 208 I shared this fun idea called “22 for 2022”.  It’s a list of things you want to do in 2022. Inspired by Gretchen Rubin.  It’s been really fun to think about this list and tweek it over the past week or so.  

I’m still working on my word of the year, I’m thinking something along the lines of simple, minimal, streamlined, essential.  I tend to over-complicate and this year I want to really reduce any physical and mental clutter in my life.  So stay tuned and I hope to share my word of the year soon.  

Also, in 2022, or at least the first quarter, we’re tackling an overarching theme, this question I’ve been pondering during the month of December:  What is Happiness?  And of course, the follow up question:  How do we create it?  So, my research is slanted in this direction for a while.  It helps me focus and it helps me deliver the very best 2-minute digestive nuggets for you - every single day.  How exciting is that?  I can’t wait.  

So friend, I am grateful to be starting 2022 with you and I can’t wait to see where this takes us as a community of Intentional Margin® Makers that are inspired by identifying or creating happiness everyday. 

Today, I invite you to call a friend who you’ve lost touch with, leave them a voice mail and just tell them that you were thinking of them and you hope they have a great year.  You can also leave a voice text, which is another way to say hello where the person can feel the sincerity in your voice.  Go out and spread some kindness today on the first day of the year. 

Get Everyday Happiness delivered to your inbox by subscribing at: https://www.katiejefcoat.com/happiness

And, let’s connect on social at @everydayhappinesswithkatie  and join the community on the hashtags #IntentionalMargins and #everydayhappinesswithkatie on Instagram

Links:  https://onamission.bio/everydayhappiness/