When a kid isn't acting the way we need them to--they won't put away their stuff or do their homework--it's so easy to slip into frustration and blame. We don't like it, but that little inside voice pops up saying, "why can't my kid just try harder?"

We often want to be patient, especially if they have a diagnosis like ADHD and we know it's not all their fault. 

But how can we be the caring adult we want to be? 

Listen to today's interview with therapist Alex Ibarra to learn how the EveryDay Strong framework can help you have more compassion and perspective for kids just trying their best.

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Learn more about EveryDay Strong at www.everydaystrong.org

It's one thing to create safety, connection, and confidence one-on-one with a kid--but can you do it for an entire high school?

You might have a vision for what your teenager or child needs in order to thrive. But you're not the only adult in your kids' life: there's her teacher, perhaps his other parent, or their youth leaders at church or a club. Are they resistant to what you know your child needs?

Licensed clinical therapist Jenny Howe deals with this all the time. She specializes in helping parents collaborate with the school to figure out a plan that will work for everyone. Listen now to learn how to have a better conversation and what actions you can take to support your kid.

-Megan J

To answer this question, we decided to go a different route than talking to a therapist or counselor. We went to the students themselves. Today’s conversation with high school students Chancy and Kyle is an opportunity to listen to what their experience has been like. We asked them for advice and what they most want you to know about how to help other youth doing their best through this tough time.

Today’s question: “As a parent of a neurodiverse kid (autism), in-person social interaction is essential to his development, growth, and friendships. The pandemic was really hard on him because his two main avenues to socializing (math club and chess club) were gone. How do I help him ease back into sociality after the pandemic?”

Our expert: Dr. Ilse DeKoeyer, PhD, moved to Utah in the year 2000 to research mother-infant relationships with Dr. Alan Fogel. She has taught at the University of Utah since the early 2000's. She also works as a Child Development Specialist at United Way’s Help Me Grow program. Ilse is a founding Board member of the Utah Association for Infant Mental Health, and is committed to supporting infants, young children, and their parents through many other projects and committees.

Today’s question: “How can we reintroduce kids to being around other people after a year of keeping our distance? My 3-year-old has intense stranger danger because she has not been around non-family members during a formative time of development. How do I help young kids understand how the vaccine and other measures mean we can gradually return to some normal activities and process the emotions of the last year and the upcoming transition?”

—Catherine D

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Our expert: Catherine Johnson, recently retired Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Catherine spent over 40 years working with children and their families, with a special interest in early childhood mental health. Before her retirement, she worked for eleven years as Division Director for Wasatch Mental Health (now known as Wasatch Behavioral Health), where she directed all child, youth, and family services. This included outpatient mental health clinics, after school and extended day treatment, residential and crisis services. Catherine has four children and 3 grandchildren.

Today’s question: 

My son has become a huge germaphobe since the pandemic began. We went out to the nickelcade, and he scrubbed himself down for thirty minutes afterwards—even though he was wearing a mask and wearing gloves. Unfortunately, I think this is going to be a problem that will continue long after the pandemic is over. What can I do to help him?

Bree S.

Our expert: Jenny Howe is a licensed mental health therapist and expert in anxiety-related disorders, OCD, and depression with a specialized focus in child and adolescent mental health.  With 20 years’ experience in juvenile corrections, public school mental health, residential care and private practice, she recently directed her passion to help others through the 2018 film Angst, which is being shared globally. She has spoken nationwide both in person and virtually at Microsoft, Goldman Sachs, Warner Brothers, NBC, The University of Vermont and most recently as the Keynote Speaker at Purdue University during their 2020 Mental Health Awareness Week. Jenny’s mission is to help drive authentic conversations, driven by research, that intuitively breed connection and increase hope.

Today’s question: “My child’s grandmother passed away during the pandemic. How do I help her deal with the anxiety and fear of death of loved ones and just the general impermanence and fragility of life?”

Our expert: Dr. David Schramm, associate professor and family life extension specialist in the department of Human Development and Family Studies at Utah State University. Dr. Dave, as he’s known on campus and across the country, was appointed by Governor Herbert to serve on Utah’s Commission on Marriage in 2016. From British Columbia to Beijing, China, and from St. Louis to San Diego, Dr. Dave has given over 500 presentations, classes, and workshops to a variety of audiences, including the United Nations and a TEDx talk in Florida.

Today’s question: “My kids seem to be using technology for almost all their connection with their friends. I know excessive amounts of screentime is not great for kids, and mine are on video games 10 hours a day but it’s because they’re chatting with their friends. What do I do about technology use after the pandemic, when they’ve become habituated to living out their entire lives online?  

Our expert: Jay Snyder is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who works at a charter school in Riverton, where he assists students, teachers, parents, and administrators on a wide variety of mental and emotional health topics. He also works as a private therapist with a small clientele. He likes to say he helps kids by helping their adults.

(Note: normally episodes drop every second and fourth Monday of the month. This one is a little early! Look for the next episode on June 21st.)

EveryDay Strong Season 1: coming June 2021. We're talking all about recovery from COVID-19.