Everything Always

When children in a blended family have to share a home, a lot of issues and complexities can come into play. Today I'm flying solo to share tips on making this challenging living situation a bit easier and helping the kids come to terms with sharing space in a fair and inclusive way.

Listen in as I discuss some of the issues my own blended family encountered, as well as things you can do to avoid problems with sharing a space. You'll learn how to make everyone feel more included and at home through creating a new space that the kids can share their input on, creating space when there's not much extra room, and more.

01:00 — 05:33 - The difficulties of sharing a space.

05:33 - 07:15 - Solutions to help prevent frustration, tears, and fights.

07:15 - 08:07 - Starting fresh and giving the kids input.

08:07 - 08:53 - How to create space when there's not a lot of extra room.

08:53 - 10:18 - How important it is to give children a voice.

10:56 - 13:07 - Another way to get that new ownership feel.

13:07 - 14:56 - Advice for TV and entertainment sharing.

14:56 - 16:50 - Eliminating challenge and threat.

You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://bit.ly/2P5zHtn

Today, I’m talking about a subject that I know many of you want to hear about… It’s a little thing called technology. Our little ones (or not-so-little ones) have access to a crazy number of devices these days—and it can all be a bit overwhelming.

I’m taking this episode to touch on all of it. Mike and I, like many parents, have had our concerns with technology. I think we all have the same fears. Is it making my child less active? Is it affecting their relationships with friends and family? Is it affecting their social skills? It’s hard to give a solid answer to any of those questions, but I think we all know that these devices do have an effect on our children.

In this episode, I discuss what kind of rules we should (or should not) be making around technology for our children. And let’s be real — technology isn’t all bad. I also touch on all the benefits of technology that we often overlook, and how we can teach them about all the good stuff they can do on their devices while limiting the bad stuff. It’s all about communication.

00:50 — 04:40 – The 4 concerns we all have with technology and our children

04:40 — 07:00 - There is value in these devices, until they become dependent

07:00 — 10:00 - When and how we’ve established rules

10:00 — 13:30 - The double-edged sword that is technology

13:30 — 16:00 - The value of open communication and having them hear it from you

16:00 — 22:00 – It’s all about balance

Mike and I had a squabble the other day. Ok, fine...it was a fight. We had some teen issues caused by our inconsistency with rules, and it caused us to have a conversation about boundaries and how to maintain them.

Gain access to all of the rules mentioned in the episode and more here!

In today’s episode, Mike and I will share the takeaways from our argument and why we actually found it to be extremely productive and effective. From it, we agreed to create an updated list of house rules that we both align with and will do our best to uphold.

Just because the rules may be different at your kid’s other home doesn’t mean that you can’t create your own. In fact, being clear and consistent with your rules maintains order in the home and gives your kids a sense of comfort and responsibility. Tune in to hear some of the rules we came up within our home and get some ideas for your own.

01:30 – 03:00 – Introducing today’s topic: A recent fight we had about boundaries

03:00 – 08:30 - The takeaway of our fight: Consistency is important.

08:30 – 11:00 - Why arguments can be productive and effective

11:00 – 21:30 - The Mulder rules, what inspired them, and what they teach

21:30 – 26:00 - A recap on today’s show

Today’s episode is with Mike Sherbakov, a friend we met through a house build we did in Mexico with our kids. Mike has some beautiful lessons to share about being a good parent, a good co-parent, and a great person overall.

In today’s episode, Mike will discuss the importance of allowing your child to communicate their passions, and he’ll share the starfish story that inspired him to help others – one family at a time. We’re inspired by Mike’s mission through Greatness Collective, we’re impressed by his relationship with his ex, and we feel his lessons are invaluable for any family – blended or not.

Mike describes his ex as a family member, and they’re extremely close and open with each other. This wasn’t always the case, but with open communication and the understanding that they both wanted a peaceful and supportive experience with their son and each other, a healthy relationship evolved. Tune in to hear Mike’s journey and what he has learned about kindness, boundaries, and taking responsibility.

00:30 – 07:30 – Introducing Mike Sherbakov and Greatness Collective

07:30 – 15:00 - Communicating passions, saving starfish, and practicing acts of kindness

15:00 – 18:30 - Providing the best possible experience for your child

18:30 – 23:30 - Mike’s journey, parenting style, and relationship with his co-parent

23:30 – 27:00 - How his relationship with his ex evolved over the years

27:00 – 33:00 - On boundaries and communication

33:00 – 40:00 - Determining what you really want and taking responsibility

40:00 – 45:00 – On unkind and hurt people

I’m doing something a little bit different for today’s episode. A while ago, I read an article on ScaryMommy.com titled “10 Things No One Tells You About Having a Blended Family” by Lindsey Mattingly. I’ve thought about it a lot since then and thought it’d be fun to share.

In today’s episode, I’ll read the article then discuss it – book club-style – in hopes that it’ll help shed light on some very real, very raw things that come with blended family life. I have to say, the 10 things Lindsey points out are spot-on and I can relate to each and every one of them.

Like the fact that blended family life comes with no road map. Even still, years after our marriage, Mike and I find ourselves writing our own road map for our blended family journey. And you will, too. Tune in to hear the 10 things no one tells you about blended family life, and hear how we’ve managed through them in our own way.  

00:30 – 03:00 – Introducing today’s topic: An article I read on ScaryMommy.com

03:00 – 07:30 - The article “10 Things Nobody Tells You About Having a Blended Family”

07:30 – 13:00 - On prioritizing and being set in your ways

13:00 – 19:00 - On comparisons and jealously

19:00 – 24:30 - On loving your step-kids and observations about your own

24:30 – 29:00 - On forgiving easier and being disappointed about the big fuss

29:00 – 34:00 - On being private and having no road map

Today’s episode is from my recent interview with Melissa on The Blended Family podcast. We talked about all the funny stuff that comes up when raising teens and how the way boys and girls mature differently. What a roller coaster!

We also discuss my relationship with my ex and how I’ve handled negativity in the past. I’ve had to learn how to control my reactions – and it hasn’t always been easy. But it’s important to be cordial to my kid’s parent – not just for them, but for my own peace, too. 

Having a harmonious blended family takes effort. And it’s always evolving. We work towards that harmony by spending quality alone time with each of our kids – biological and non – so we feel bonded and connected. Tune in to hear my thoughts on discipline, time management, and being an entrepreneurial blended family mom.

01:00 – 08:00 - Raising teenagers and the difference between boys and girls

08:00 – 14:00 - Summer’s relationship with her ex and how she handles negativity

14:00 – 19:00 - Controlling our reactions and learning to be friendly

19:00 – 25:30 - Spending alone time with the kids

25:30 – 29:00 - Dealing with different rules and discipline at different households

29:00 – 37:30 - How Summer harmonizes business and family

Mike and I took a bit of a hiatus, but we’re back at it and excited to share today’s topic: Staying connected. The truth is, whether in a blended family or not, it’s extremely important to stay connected to your partner through life’s ups and downs.

If you’ve been with your partner for a while, you know that it takes effort to keep your relationship fun, rewarding, and fulfilling. Without that effort, you or your partner can begin to feel resentful, unappreciated, and unhappy. 

And it’s not all your partner’s responsibility. Each person needs to make the choice to have a successful relationship – and that choice comes with ownership, actions, and personal development work. Tune in to hear Mike and I reflect on the things we’ve learned, the things we’re working on, and the things that can help you, too. 

01:00 – 03:30 - Introducing today’s topic: Staying connected

03:30 – 8:30 - What it takes to make a relationship succeed

08:30 – 14:00 - What Summer has learned about taking ownership

14:00 – 18:00 - Schedule private time with your partner

18:00 – 23:00 - Be nice to each other

23:00 – 26:30 - The takeaways

Today I’m proud to present The Gipford Moms! Erin and Tina are co-parenting moms – Erin is the biological mom and Tina is the step-mom who also has a child from a previous relationship and two with her husband (Tina’s ex). Although they’re very different, they stand on common ground when it comes to the most important thing: How to co-parent.

One glance at their website and you’ll realize that they’ve got a big crew – and they’re happy taking a family photo together! Not only that, but some of the kids are teenagers. Wow. They have an extremely unique relationship and have even written a book together about their experience.

The Gipford Moms and I discuss the different perspective they offer in their book and how they hope it’ll help other co-parents. We’ll talk about very real possibility of harmonious co-parenting if respect and communication are practiced and anger is released. Tune in to hear Erin and Tina’s co-parenting advice and get inspired to explore a better relationship with your co-parent – for yourself and for your kids.

01:00 – 05:30 - Introducing The Gipford Moms and their new book

05:30 – 10:30 - The family dynamics and the journey

10:30 – 14:30 - What their relationship was like in the beginning and how it has evolved

14:30 – 16:30 - Takeaways for successful co-parenting

16:30 – 21:30 - Co-authoring a book and what the kids think

21:30 – 25:00 - The book’s takeaways and feedback

25:00 – 29:30 - Advice for co-parents

29:30 – 32:00 - Their future plans and the possibility of a sequel

Today we’ve got a special guest on the show. Shana Pennington is an adult child of a blended family who is passionate about sharing her story. She’s almost 40 now and has a family of her own, which makes her insights into the blended family experience especially interesting.

When Shana’s parents got divorced, they moved far away from each other, suddenly making it so that Shanna only saw her father a couple times a year. However, Shana reflects on the distance as something that was actually good for the family, as now they all come together happy and healed without animosity. 

Shana and I discuss the importance of being intentional with your relationships – both the new ones and the old. We’ll talk about the beautiful side of divorce that creates the opportunity for children to be around more love – which is always an awesome thing, right? Tune in to hear Shana’s thoughts on happiness, responsibility, and harmony – and hear what she’d tell her younger self.

01:00 – 04:00 - Introducing today’s guest and her blended family experience

04:00 – 07:30 - Her relationships with her siblings and parents over her lifetime

07:30 – 10:00 - What helped Shana see things differently

10:00 – 15:30 - Seeking harmony and some tips for parents

15:30 – 19:00 - Reframing divorce and handling new family dynamics

19:00 – 24:00 - Advice for divorced parents

24:00 – 27:00 – How her experience has affected her marriage and parenting

Today we’re talking about money. Stop! Don’t run away! Hear us out. With blended families, there’s bound to be talk about money. Whether it’s a savings account for the kids, child support, a prenuptial agreement with a new spouse, or splitting things with an ex – money conversations must be had. 

And for many of us, they’re uncomfortable. We’re taught that talking about money is rude or should be kept private, and this often leads us to avoid the conversations altogether. That’s when things get sticky. What if your new spouse didn’t know what child support you paid, despite the fact that your finances are now consolidated? How about that savings account you and your ex started for your child when they were born?

Today, Mike and I will talk about what it takes to have a successful, transparent, and trusting relationship where you can talk about everything. Always. We’ll bring up some thoughts on equality between siblings and how love for a new step-child naturally grows. Tune in to hear our thoughts on true commitment and what really matters at the end of the day.

00:45 – 07:00 - Introducing today’s topic: Money

07:00 – 11:00 - Transparency, trust, and taking responsibility

11:00 – 17:00 - Equality among blended family kids and prenuptial agreements

17:00 – 20:00 - Allowing love to grow and having realistic expectations

20:00 – 25:30 - The family budget and committing to it all with your partner

25:30 – 30:00 - What you really need at the end of the day