Everything Is Awkward

Welcome to Everything is Awkward with Sam and Haely.

Consider this our little corner to share the most awkward, questionable parenting moments so you're able to feel better about your own life. If you want advice, we aren't it — we're just two moms with aggressive top knots, open hearts, and bribery candy trying to figure out this parenting circus and remind you that YOU'RE DOING GREAT. Actually we have no idea but just go with it.

And now, for the moment at hand, in which Sam boldly reenters society after the birth of her second child.

And now...for the moment at hand, Haely is about to venture out for her first night sans baby since having her little guy, and can't wait to show off her new rack, catch up with friends and feel human again.

And now for the moment at hand, where Sam goes sans epidural and is transported to an unforgiving ring of fire deep in the jungle.

And now, for the moment at hand, where Haely commits a foul against womanhood and spends her evening lost in the woods.

And now, for the moment at hand, when Sam sneaks away for a little afternoon delight and leaves her children supervised by only TV and cheddar duckies.

Haely: In a previous episode, when I shared a traumatizing story about milking myself into a public toilet, it clearly struck a chord. Dozens of parents out there volunteered their tales from the breastfeeding trenches, fondly recalling the times they milked themselves into Sonic cups, into bathroom sinks, into urine sample collectors and, in at least two cases, into the arms of a helpful bestie (get you a friend who...). Those of us blessed enough to have milk-filled bosoms have, it seems, frequently found that our cup runneth over, and we have no choice but to use the world as our pumping receptacle. So we've rounded up the best stories here of boobs fit to burst, and the extreme measures taken to address an escalating situation.

And now, for the moment at hand where Sam tries to keep it spicy during lockdown but her roommates apparently "have needs too"...

In our last episode, I related sneaking in sexy time around my kids during Covid akin to the hookups of yesteryear. So naturally as Haely and I were reminiscing, we couldn't help but relive those teen days hiding out in basements. Literally.

And now for the moment at hand, where Haely finds herself in an, uh… revealing predicament.

Sam: And now for the moment at hand, when my family and I were invited to a swanky country club with our kids to see if we had what it took to join the ranks of double bogies and tennis whites.