It’s confession time! Euan admits that the music has never flowed through him, Alanna feels guilty for destroying the world’s forests with her Nutella habit, and Alex shares the shocking truth behind his childhood love of East 17. Plus, somewhere in the middle we attempt to use our questionable diplomacy skills to avert an interstellar conflict. All in a day’s work!

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In an accidental piece of amateur theatre, Euan and Alex live out an entire life over the course of today’s episode. In the first segment we frolic with our inner children (not in a weird way), giggling at Furbies and the colour blue. Then, as the episode progresses, we grow up before your very eyes, making the important rite of passage from T-shirts to shirts, then going on to ramble about politics like two old men in a pub. A tour de force, you might say (if you’re looking for a phrase to use in your iTunes review).

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We don’t shy away from the difficult questions in this, our most philosophical episode yet. Is reality really worth all the fuss? Are smartphones killing society? Will teleportation snuff out your consciousness like a candle? Would you rather die chasing a cheese down a hill or buried under a mountain of slippers? Yeah, it gets quite dark in places, but stick with it – we also talk about George Foreman grills.

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This week we revive a very 90s rivalry, as Mario and Sonic go head to head! Luckily Heather is on hand to translate “it’s a-me, Mario!” into French, while Alex talks with worrying authority about the erotic side of Sonic. Elsewhere in the show, we relive our traumatic theme park experiences, Scott robs the term “national treasure” of all meaning by bestowing it on Jeremy Kyle, and the panel considers crowning a new official worst thing in the world.

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In the run-up to the Edinburgh 48 Hour Film Project (also known as the highlight of our year), Heather and Alex reminisce about their ill-fated musical of many years ago. Also: Scott puts Alex to shame with his superior cheese sandwich recipe, Heather struggles with being a country music loving feminist, and we all talk about the animals we love, fear and can’t stop watching YouTube compilations of.

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In our most topical episode yet, we talk about the Eurovision Song Contest for ages, and Val tries to brainwash us into placing it above New York. Meanwhile, Alex holds an intervention for himself, Euan waxes lyrical about swearing, Mark worries over the environmental footprint of coffee pods, and we add our first two smells to the list.

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In today’s episode, we celebrate America in an attempt to appeal to a lucrative international market! Plus: Euan wanders the streets looking for loose change, Val reminisces about when her only friend was a balloon, Mark reveals his man-crush and Alex rages against capitalism. Oh, and for Cram Session we all learn about an animal we’d only ever heard of before as an answer on Pointless.

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Building on last week’s good start, today we begin to ask the bigger questions. Is our only purpose in life to preserve our teeth as well as possible? Have we spent more time in our lives eating porridge or reading The Prisoner of Azkaban? And is the very idea of ranking an inanimate object higher than a country of 8 million people inherently offensive? Hopefully not, or we’ll be in trouble after this…

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