When we get pregnant and are expecting our first child, most people don't see this as a time to worry that their mental health is going to go downhill. We're supposed to be happy or even thrilled about this new stage in our lives. But for many families, pregnancy is the beginning of what can be some serious mental health struggles. Perinatal depression, anxiety, and more are all common occurrences, yet ones we don't really talk about in our society. We don't warn families and many will struggle without support or even awareness of what is going on. This week I spoke to clinical psychologist and perinatal mental health specialist Dr. Annie Rohr about her own journey through perinatal mental health struggles and this issue more broadly. Whether you have struggled or not, all of us need to be aware of what to look for and how to help.

Show notes:

Dr. Annie Rohr: https://drannierohr.com/

Post Partum International: https://www.postpartum.net/

Mom Genes Research Project: https://www.momgenesfightppd.org/

Dr. Rohr's Books*:

A Promise: A Vow of Love for Baby and a Message of Hope for Mom - https://amzn.to/3iBv7S6

Finding the Warm and Fuzzies - https://amzn.to/3iCrYRU

(*Amazon Affiliate link)

If you've listened here before you will know that the research doesn't support the idea that extinction sleep training methods, like crying it out or controlled crying, actually improve our infant's sleep (or children's for that matter). Despite parents reporting improvements, when we look at objective measures of sleep, the sleep of children pre- and post-sleep training is actually no different. Many of us see this as a bit damning for sleep training, but what cannot be denied is that sleep training may improve parent sleep and in cultures where sleep is hard to come by and expectations for parents are through the roof, this is not something to be overlooked. This week, I was able to chat with Dr. Levita D'Souza about this very tension - how do we balance our infant's needs for proximity and support as well as their biologically normal sleep rhythms with a parent's need for more sleep in an unsupportive culture. We both know that only if we can start to address this issue will we be able to move away from our sleep training culture. I hope our conversation can help move this issue forward.

Dr. Levita D'Souza: www.centreforperinatalpsychology.com.au/psych…ouza/

For those who are interested in an in-depth look at the science on sleep training, you can check out this eLearning Module (available worldwide, continuing education credits for IBCLCs and Australian midwives): https://www.breastfeedingconferences.com.au/conference_details.php?conferenceId=110

When we think about education, most of us think about our experience with what we might call modern-traditional schooling: classes by grade, a teacher at the front, testing, memorization, getting to know a new teacher each year, and maybe some more good like good friendships or more bad, like bullying. But what if school doesn't have to look like this? What alternative paradigms are out there? This week I'm joined by former Montessori Principal and advocate for public Montessori at a national level John Freeman to discuss what the different features of Montessori are and how they can help children thrive. My hope is that after listening to our conversation, families who feel that education could be better for their kids have one more option that they might feel comfortable exploring.

The National Center for Montessori in the Public Sector: https://www.public-montessori.org/about-us/

Elm City Montessori School: https://elmcitymontessori.org/about-us/

Hartford Courant article: https://www.courant.com/news/connecticut/hc-xpm-2008-12-29-school1229-story.html

"It's just the way it is!"

"Progress is always good"

These are the sentiments that many people feel about the way our society and culture is structured. Because it's how we've grown up and what we've experienced, we believe this is the way it is. We view change as progress and think that anything different must be less than. But what if this isn't the type of society or life that enabled us humans to thrive? We evolved to this point, but is this really the best we can hope for? Welcome to the concept of the Evolved Nest - the concept that how we lived for the majority of human history has been what enabled our success and moving back to the key features of that history can help us thrive once again. This week I had the pleasure of talking with Dr. Darcia Narveaz, the creator of this concept and the associated nonprofit organization to discuss what this involves and how we can all thrive. Isn't it time we get to the stage where we all feel whole again?

Dr. Darcia Narvaez: https://psychology.nd.edu/faculty/darcia-narvaez/

The Evolved Nest: https://evolvednest.org/

Books on the Evolved Nest*

Contexts for Young Child Flourishing: https://amzn.to/3AYbD1j

Neurobiology and the Development of Human Morality: https://amzn.to/36EoOq9

Restoring the Kinship Worldview: https://amzn.to/36AbbZ1

Scientific Articles on the Evolved Nest

https://pubs.lib.umn.edu/index.php/ijps/article/view/2244

https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/abs/10.1089/eco.2020.0067?journalCode=eco

https://internationaljournalofwellbeing.org/index.php/ijow/article/view/987/775

When you thought about nursing, did you think about how long it would go? Did you think, "I will absolutely be done by one because that's old enough"? Then find yourself with a 2-year-old attached to the boob and worry that they're too old? Or perhaps you were okay with that from the start, but still face comments, questions, and accusations from others about this? Welcome to nursing beyond infancy - something most of the world does, but which those of us in WEIRD - Western, Educated, Industrial, Rich, and Democratic - countries seem to have some odd ideas about. This week I am joined by Meg Nagle, IBCLC and founder of The Milk Meg, as we debunk some of these myths that you may have been told so that you can, in the words of Meg, keep on boobin' with less stress and worry.

The Milk Meg: https://themilkmeg.com/

All Tied Up*: https://amzn.to/3qUHcEs

Boobin' All Day Boobin' All Night*: https://amzn.to/3qT7Nln

Some articles on nursing older children:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2720507/

https://search.informit.org/doi/abs/10.3316/INFORMIT.674686961104750

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0890334404266969

* Amazon Affiliate Link

From the moment a family is expecting their first child, decisions are made about how that relationship is going to work, decisions that don't always match reality. The addition of a new person to the family - and a rather helpless one at that - changes everything. Here we have a baby who needs and expects certain things. Food. Warmth. Care. We also have parents who often live in cultures that tell them what to expect from their baby. And as I talked about last week with Dr. Helen Ball, often the messages parents get are incongruent with their realities. This week the discussion continues with Dr. Cecilia Tomori who has spent a career doing in-depth, ethnographic work on how families navigate and negotiate the tensions that affect parenting decisions, particularly from a moral framework of how we make the decisions we do. From colonialism to convenience, you may be surprised at all the ways parenting decisions are influenced.

Dr. Cecilia Tomori: https://nursing.jhu.edu/faculty_research/faculty/faculty-directory/cecilia-tomori and https://www.ceciliatomori.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrTomori

Books by Dr. Tomori:

Breastfeeding: New Anthropological Approaches: https://www.routledge.com/Breastfeeding-New-Anthropological-Approaches/Tomori-Palmquist-Quinn/p/book/9781138502871

Nighttime Breastfeeding: https://www.berghahnbooks.com/title/tomorinighttime

Relevant Articles:

https://dro.dur.ac.uk/28335/

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/24694452.2018.1558628?journalCode=raag21

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0277953616305135

"You must breastfeed!" says the medical professional.

"Don't you dare sleep with your baby!" says the same medical professional.

The tension between how we feed our babies and how we sleep with them is a real problem for many new families. As primates, we are expected to stay close to our young, and that includes nighttime, and this has profound implications for our feeding journey. As we discussed last week, breast or chestfeeding grief is real and many families struggle with it, but some of this comes from advice that may be well-intentioned but harms that feeding relationship. This week I got to talk to the expert herself - Dr. Helen Ball - researcher of the effects of sleep location on feeding and vice versa about this very issue. She also happens to be one of my favourite people to talk so this episode was an absolute joy for me. If you think that how you sleep doesn't affect how you feed your baby or how you feed your baby doesn't affect how you sleep, you're likely in for a bit of a surprise.

Dr. Helen Ball: https://www.dur.ac.uk/research/directory/staff/?id=121

Durham Infancy and Sleep Centre: https://www.durham.ac.uk/research/institutes-and-centres/durham-infancy-sleep-centre/

BASIS Website: www.basisonline.org

BASIS Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BabySleepInfoSource/

BASIS Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/basis_babysleepinfosource/

Articles of Interest (a small selection of many):

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1046/j.1523-536X.2003.00243.x

https://adc.bmj.com/content/89/12/1106.abstract

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/0264683021000033147

https://anthrosource.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1525/aa.1999.101.1.143

https://adc.bmj.com/content/91/12/1005.short

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/icd.519

https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Helen-Ball/publication/30053712_Breastfeeding_and_mother-infant_sleep_proximity_implications_for_infant_care/links/0fcfd50c45a22d9d36000000/Breastfeeding-and-mother-infant-sleep-proximity-implications-for-infant-care.pdf

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10995-015-1798-7

Although not every parent chooses to, many report wanting to breastfeed or chestfeed their child. Our Western society likes to promote this with slogans and ideas that "breast is best", but most of that isn't backed up with the type of support that parents need to make this a reality. From inadequate leave to advice that counters the promotion of breastfeeding to a lack of instrumental and social support for new parents, breast and chestfeeding are an uphill battle, to say the least. Unfortunately this means many parents fail to reach their own goals and this can lead to intense grief about this. Too often, they are told it doesn't matter or just to suck it up, neither of which is supportive or helpful for parents experiencing this grief. This week I was privileged to talk to Dr. Amy Brown about this issue, one she has researched and written on for her book, "Why breastfeeding grief and trauma matter". Whether you were successful in your breast or chestfeeding goals or not, or even if that just wasn't your choice to even embark on, this episode is a critical listen for all of us who engage with new parents.

Dr. Amy Brown: https://professoramybrown.co.uk/about-me

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Prof_AmyBrown

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/prof_amybrown/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/breastfeedinguncovered

Why Breastfeeding Grief and Trauma Matter: https://www.bookdepository.com/Why-Breastfeeding-Grief-Trauma-Matter-Amy-Brown/9781780666150

To learn more about the Evolutionary Parenting Podcast visit https://evolutionaryparenting.com/evolutionary-parenting-podcast-2/

When we first become parents there are tons of books and advice for us to follow in the baby years and even the toddler years. As our kids age, however, it seems that all the parenting experts start to fade away. They don't dare touch the older children until perhaps the teenage years. Yet our tweens - that delicate age around 8 to 13 - is crucial to how we will face the teenage years with our children. The challenges that can come with this age can set the stage for how we will approach potentially even more tumultuous times in adolescence, but many parents feel lost at sea as they face these years. This week I had the joy of talking to Sarah Ockwell-Smith who many of you will know for her work in infancy and toddlerhood, but who has filled the much-needed gap for us parents of tweens with her new book Between. From connection with our tweens to anxiety to social activism, we delved into some of the key areas that parents need to be aware of when it comes to parenting tweens. And as always, it comes with the humour and honesty that Sarah brings to everything she does.

Sarah Ockwell-Smith: https://sarahockwell-smith.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheBabyExpert

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sarahockwellsmithauthor

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahockwellsmith

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/sarahockwellsmith

Between Book: https://www.bookdepository.com/Between-Sarah-Ockwell-Smith/9780349427775

To learn more about the Evolutionary Parenting Podcast visit https://evolutionaryparenting.com/evolutionary-parenting-podcast-2/

Welcome back to part two of my talk with Brian Earp. If you haven't listened yet to last week's episode, I strongly suggest you do because some of what we talk about this week directly follows that conversation. Moving on from the discussion of health risks versus benefits of male infant circumcision, this week we turn towards the social elephant in the room, namely the gendered debate on circumcision as well as more emotional issues such as the defensiveness of parents and the struggles for some men to feel heard on the issue. I hope this conversation may also provide a means for families or individuals struggling to find a way to open up and feel heard. It's up to all of us to listen when people share their story.

Brian Earp: https://philosophy.yale.edu/people/brian-earp

Brian Earp's YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR4umqUbmaDirAig2zD-zBw

Resources:

Your Whole Baby: https://www.yourwholebaby.org/

Doctors Opposing Circumcision: https://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/

The Intact Network: https://www.intactnetwork.org/

To learn more about the Evolutionary Parenting Podcast visit https://evolutionaryparenting.com/evolutionary-parenting-podcast-2/