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In this episode of The Ex-Homeschoolers Club, I sit down with Julius, one of 12 siblings, to unpack what it was like growing up in a massive homeschool family led by a pastor dad. From the chaos of daily life in a household of 14 to navigating the isolating years of COVID, Julius shares candidly about academic challenges, sibling dynamics, extracurricular outlets, and ultimately, a journey of questioning faith and identity. We explore the highs and lows of homeschooling in a big family, the tension between church and education, and how discovering a love of learning outside those boundaries shaped Julius into who they are today. This conversation is raw, real, and deeply relatable for anyone who’s grown up homeschooled, in faith-heavy environments, or simply searching for identity beyond the structures they were raised in.

Key Takeaways:

• Life inside a homeschool family of 12 kids: chaos, support systems, and sibling dynamics.

• Balancing academics with church commitments under a pastor parent.

• The impact of COVID on socialization, isolation, and extracurricular opportunities.

• Julius’ journey of self-discovery, questioning faith, and embracing identity.

• Why cultivating curiosity and a love of learning matters beyond traditional schooling.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

01:13 Meet Julius: Growing Up in a Big Homeschool Family

01:50 Homeschooling Dynamics and Daily Life

06:06 Academic Challenges and Achievements

14:08 Socialization and Extracurricular Activities

16:53 Impact of COVID-19 on Homeschooling

27:14 Deconstructing Faith and Personal Growth

33:59 Realizing the Fallibility of Beliefs

35:33 Exploring Other Religions

36:44 Questioning Faith and God's Existence

39:28 Controlling the Narrative of Personal Beliefs

44:43 The Importance of Learning and New Experiences

53:41 Balancing Extracurriculars and Church Commitments

58:30 Advice for Homeschooling Parents

01:04:19 Cherishing Sibling Bonds

01:06:18 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe to The Ex-Homeschoolers Club on your favorite podcast platform, leave us a 5-star review, and share this episode with a friend who’d connect with Julius’ story. Don’t forget to follow me on YouTube, Instagram, and Threads at @EXHSClub to join the ongoing conversation.

In this episode of the Ex-Homeschoolers Club, we’re wrapping up our four-part series on Joshua Harris’s controversial book I Kissed Dating Goodbye. In this final installment, I dissect Part Four, “Now What?”, where Harris outlines his vision for marriage, intimacy, and what he calls “principled romance.” I share personal stories of feeling pressured to marry young, highlight the contradictions in Harris’s teachings on intimacy, and reflect on how purity culture created lasting shame around sex and relationships. If you’ve been following the series, this episode ties it all together and calls out the damaging legacy of purity culture.

Key Takeaways:

• Why young Christians felt pressured to marry quickly and “redeem the time.”
• Harris’s inconsistent and harmful ideas on intimacy.
• The damaging effects of modesty culture and gender stereotypes.
• How parental control undermined personal agency in relationships.
• The lasting shame purity culture instilled around sex and marriage.

Resources Mentioned:

• I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris

Previous podcast episodes in this series

• Part 1: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5FUQajXv6SLZzwpQfkwE89?si=8b13dae4bd2f49b6 
• Part 2: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7eYDn78AVImTRde8Igfr9d?si=90b6d63245b74df5 
• Part 3: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4tlrZ8S9T2VjwNJJp8SuxO?si=e6b8022f3fb34db1 

If this episode resonated with you, make sure to subscribe to the Ex-Homeschoolers Club on your favorite podcast app, leave a review to share your thoughts, and join the discussion in our community at r/ExHomeschoolersClub. Let’s continue unpacking the impact of purity culture together.

This week on the podcast, we’re throwing a birthday party! It's the one-year anniversary of the Ex-Homeschoolers Club, and to celebrate, I brought back my very first guest and longtime friend Cari Frantz for a fun and nostalgic conversation. We dive deep into the media, books, movies, and music we weren’t allowed to consume growing up as Christian homeschoolers—and the surprising ways we found our way to them as adults. From Harry Potter to Pitbull concerts, purity culture to Plugged-in reviews, we talk about the weird rules we lived by, what we now enjoy guilt-free, and how we're making peace with our past.

Whether you're a fellow ex-homeschooler or just curious about the quirks of conservative upbringings, this episode will have you laughing, nodding along, and maybe even dusting off your old Adventures in Odyssey tapes.

Key Takeaways:

• The irony of being banned from Harry Potter but encouraged to read Narnia
• PluggedIn, Christian DVD players, and other evangelical tools for "safe" media
• Watching or reading forbidden content as adults and learning to trust our own boundaries
• How music like Pure NRG, Backstreet Boys, and even Pitbull shaped our teenage rebellion
• Respecting our parents' intentions while forging our own relationships with pop culture

Resources Mentioned:

• PluggedIn.com
• Adventures in Odyssey by Focus on the Family
• The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis
• Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling
• The Space Trilogy by C.S. Lewis
• Crossroads Guitar Festival
• Pure NRG, Jump5, Charlie Puth (early covers), Christina Grimmie

Did you grow up homeschooled with strict media rules? What were you not allowed to read, watch, or listen to? Drop a comment with your story. And if you’ve been with the podcast from the beginning, help us celebrate one year by sharing your favorite episode!

Don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and follow the Ex-Homeschoolers Club for more stories every week. And share it with a friend who might benefit from hearing this story.Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/exhsclub/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@exhsclubEmail me at [email protected]

This week I'm diving into Part 3 of I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris—a section packed with so-called "practical tools" for keeping Christian teens pure. Spoiler: it's just more purity culture with a fresh coat of patriarchal paint.

In this episode, I unpack chapters 8 through 11, covering Harris’s infamous four-step plan for building godly relationships. We look at what it means to “start with a clean slate,” why he thinks you need your parents’ permission to date, and the mental gymnastics required to avoid every ounce of human attraction. I also share personal stories about awkward birthday ceremonies, homeschool dating dynamics, and how being taught to distrust your own body messes you up well into adulthood.

This one’s heavy but important—especially if you're trying to untangle the emotional damage of purity culture.

In This Episode, I Cover:

• The “Four Steps” to godly dating and why they don’t hold up

• How purity culture reinforces shame, secrecy, and lack of bodily autonomy

• My own cringe memories of gendered homeschool rituals and toxic birthday parties

• How mentorship, boundaries, and even lust are twisted in this framework

Subscribe to my email newsletter: https://exhsclub.beehiiv.com/subscribe 

This week on the Ex-Homeschoolers Club, I had an absolutely joyful conversation with artist, teacher, and former homeschooler Noah Fontana. From the moment we hit record, it felt like two longtime friends reconnecting. We dove deep into Noah's unique homeschool upbringing, how his love of comic books and creativity shaped his early education, and how homeschooling helped him lean into his artistic talents. We also explored Noah's journey from animation work at DreamWorks to discovering his true passion in art therapy and teaching. If you've ever wrestled with the intersection of creativity, identity, and education, this episode is for you.

Key Takeaways:

• How Noah's homeschool environment nurtured his passion for art and comics

• The connection between storytelling, animation, and emotional expression

• The challenges of people-pleasing, code-switching, and growing up in a controlled homeschool bubble

• How art therapy changed Noah's career trajectory and how he connects with students through creative expression

• The value of reframing "bad" traits like people-pleasing into useful tools when used mindfully

Connect with Noah

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teacher.noah/

• Grab a copy of his book Mixed-Up Metaphors: https://a.co/d/gHFVTq6

Resources Mentioned:

• Jeneve Dube's podcast "Homeschooled": https://solo.to/homeschooled
• "Creativity, Inc." by Ed Catmull: https://a.co/d/h4CuAiQ

This week on The Ex-Homeschoolers Club, I'm diving into Part 2 of I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris, tackling the chapters that aim to define "true Christian love" and promote the gift of singleness.

As a former homeschooler who grew up immersed in purity culture, I bring my personal experience and critical reflection to the table. We unpack the book's problematic teachings around sex, self-love, gender roles, and its impact on developing healthy relationships. I also reflect on the emotional weight of shame, the myth of male self-control, and the limitations of evangelical definitions of love and purity.

This episode is raw, personal, and full of the hard questions we need to ask about how books like this shaped a generation.

Key Topics Covered:

• The toxic binary of Christian vs. worldly love

• How purity culture shames normal human emotions and desires

• The myth of male sexual helplessness and how it harms everyone

• The concept of singleness as a spiritual calling vs. reality

• The failure of evangelical literature to cite evidence or acknowledge harm

Resources Mentioned:

• I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris
• When Religion Hurts You by Laura E. Anderson
• The Westminster Catechism
• The story of King David and Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11-12)

Hey, it’s Jacob Gooden, and this week on the Ex-Homeschoolers Club, I’m joined by the thoughtful and artistic Marsh—the youngest guest to date and a recent escapee from the world of homeschooling. We dive into their story of growing up homeschooled in rural Oklahoma, using the ACE (Accelerated Christian Education) curriculum, and being raised by their grandmother in a deeply religious environment. Marsh opens up about the challenges of being a queer, creative kid in a conservative Christian bubble, and how homeschooling shaped (and sometimes hindered) their education, self-worth, and social development. It’s a raw and reflective conversation about isolation, religion, and finding your identity outside of the system.

💡 Key Topics & Takeaways:

• What it’s like being homeschooled by your grandma using the ACE curriculum
• How ADHD and rural isolation shaped Marsh’s academic and social experience
• The religious trauma and fundamentalist ideology baked into Christian homeschooling materials
• The importance of creative outlets like art in surviving mental and emotional hardship
• Reclaiming your identity as a queer person after leaving a controlling environment

📚 Resources & Mentions:

• ACE Curriculum (Accelerated Christian Education)⁠
• When Religion Hurts You by Laura E. Anderson
• Awana (evangelical youth program)

• Indistractable by Nir Eyal (book on managing focus and technology)

🔗 Connect with Marsh

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@marshintobattle
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marshin.to.battle/

⏱️ Timestamps

00:00 Introduction and Guest Announcement01:16 Meet Marsh: A New Ex-Homie02:09 Marsh's Homeschooling Journey04:03 The ACE Curriculum Explained07:15 Challenges and Dynamics of Homeschooling41:10 Creativity and Art in Marsh's Life43:22 Rediscovering Creativity Post-Internet43:59 The Ebb and Flow of Creative Waves44:54 Finding Comfort in Creativity46:21 The Therapeutic Power of Art47:37 Lego and Problem-Solving Creativity49:09 Dealing with Creative Blocks52:19 The Impact of Stress on Creativity55:12 Religious Upbringing and Homeschooling56:22 Questioning Religious Teachings01:09:33 Homeschooling Challenges and Advice01:14:55 Reflecting on Homeschooling Experiences01:17:21 The Importance of Tailoring Education01:20:47 Final Thoughts and Farewell

If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to rate and review the show on your favorite podcast app. It helps other ex-homeschoolers find the pod! Subscribe on ⁠YouTube⁠ to watch full video episodes.

I read "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris—so you don’t have to. This is Part 1 of a multi-episode series where I unpack the book’s harmful messages, its connection to purity culture, and its deep roots in the Christian homeschooling world. From courtship myths to repressed sexuality and emotional confusion, I explore how this 1997 “dating manual” shaped a generation—and how Harris himself eventually walked it all back.

I also share personal experiences growing up in a conservative Christian homeschool setting, including my early encounters with the Harris family’s broader influence. Whether you're deconstructing your upbringing or just want to understand how purity culture warped an entire generation’s view of relationships, this episode is for you.

Key Topics Covered:

- The origin and impact of I Kissed Dating Goodbye

- Why purity culture thrived in the homeschool movement

- My own history with the Harris family’s teachings

- Courtship vs. dating: myths, harms, and personal pushback

- Emotional, sexual, and developmental confusion caused by purity messaging

Resources & Mentions:

- I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris (now retracted)

- Do Hard Things by Alex & Brett Harris

- Sex Isn’t the Problem (Lust Is) by Joshua Harris

- HSLDA (Homeschool Legal Defense Association)

Timestamps

00:00 Introduction to the Ex Homeschoolers Club

01:09 Overview of 'I Kissed Dating Goodbye'

02:39 The Harris Family and Homeschooling

03:30 Personal Experiences with the Harris Family

05:17 Initial Thoughts on 'I Kissed Dating Goodbye'

06:34 Courtship vs. Dating

07:35 Navigating Teenage Years and Sexuality

12:38 Chapter One: Smart Love

22:14 Chapter Two: 7 Habits of Highly Defective Dating

28:20 Introduction to Defective Dating Habits

29:12 Intimacy Without Commitment

32:14 Physical Relationship vs. True Love

34:44 Dating as a Distraction

36:46 Artificial Environment in Dating

41:25 Chapter Three: A New Attitude Towards Dating

42:20 The Gift of Singleness

47:22 Purity and Boundaries in Relationships

51:48 Final Thoughts and Personal Reflections

If you enjoyed this conversation, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who might benefit from hearing this story. Follow Ex-Homeschoolers Club on Instagram and TikTok for updates, and send us a message – we’d love to hear from you!

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/exhsclub/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@exhsclub

Email me at [email protected]

This week, I sit down with Charlie Monroe, a licensed therapist and former youth pastor, to explore the complexities of growing up homeschooled in a large, religious family. Charlie shares his K-12 rural homeschool experience, the emotional toll of isolation, and the transition into college and career. We discuss the impact of evangelicalism, rigorous religious curricula, and emotional enmeshment in homeschool families. As a therapist, Charlie now works with modern homeschool families, offering insight into both the successes and systemic challenges they face. This is a powerful conversation about deconstruction, emotional maturity, and how we can better support future generations of homeschoolers.

Key Topics & Takeaways:

• Life in a rural homeschool family of nine with a rigorous religious focus

• The emotional and social cost of isolation during middle and high school years

• Transitioning from homeschool to a Christian university and later to youth ministry

• Leaving evangelicalism and navigating spiritual deconstruction

• How emotional enmeshment affects homeschool families

• What Charlie sees today as a family therapist working with homeschooling clients

• A call for humility and emotional health in educational choices

Connect with Charlie:

• Charlie’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/charles_irving/ 

Timestamps00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction00:52 Charlie's Homeschooling Background01:40 Daily Life on the Farm03:39 Social Dynamics and Isolation10:27 Religious Influence in Homeschooling13:47 Transition to College21:20 Questioning Faith and Career in Ministry26:56 Reflecting on Youth Ministry and Transition to Therapy27:56 Dealing with Anger and Writing as a Coping Mechanism31:39 Experiences in Family Therapy and Homeschooling34:42 Challenges and Dynamics in Homeschooling40:13 Emotional Health and Homeschooling49:42 Final Thoughts and Advice for Homeschooling Parents55:25 Conclusion and Contact Information

If you enjoyed this conversation, make sure to subscribe to Ex-Homeschoolers Club on your favorite podcast app, leave a review, and share this episode with a friend who grew up homeschooled.

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/exhsclub/ and TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@exhsclub, or email us at [email protected]. We want to hear your story too!

This conversation dives into the highs, lows, and hard truths of RB's journey through homeschooling, patriarchal systems, and his path to healing. We discuss his early education in Pennsylvania, the move to Kansas, and the gendered disparities in educational investment he witnessed as the oldest of five siblings. RB opens up about the unintended privileges he received, his culture shock entering college and the workforce, and how he later found healing through therapy, community, and authentic adult friendships. Topics like male friendship, trauma recovery, and starting a coworking space in Texas also make this an episode full of raw honesty and powerful insights.

Key Takeaways:

• Homeschooling looked vastly different in Pennsylvania vs. Kansas, with the latter having virtually no oversight.

• Patriarchal religious beliefs led to unequal educational opportunities for RB and his sisters.

• Post-homeschool life brought intense culture shock, but also personal and professional growth.

• RB found healing through therapy, adult friendship, and creating Bastrop Coworking in Texas.

• Real success is about embracing curiosity, connection, and lifelong learning, not replicating rigid ideals.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction and Podcast Overview

01:18 Guest Introduction: RB's Homeschool Experience

02:31 Early Homeschooling in Pennsylvania

08:27 Transition to Homeschooling in Kansas

16:26 Challenges and Gender Disparities in Homeschooling

30:37 Post-Homeschool Life and Culture Shock

37:23 Reflecting on Religious Upbringing

38:51 College Life and Career Goals

43:50 Homeschooling and Socialization

46:02 Friendships and Community Building

51:17 Challenges and Growth in Adulthood

54:18 The Importance of Social Connections

01:07:17 Homeschooling Reflections and Advice

01:09:31 Final Thoughts and Contact Information

Connect with RB

• Bastrop Coworking: https://www.instagram.com/bastropcowork/

• RB on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/flyerbrown/

If you resonated with this episode, share it with a friend, leave a review, and subscribe to The Ex-Homeschoolers Club.

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Ex-HomeschoolersClub
• Newsletter: https://exhsclub.beehiiv.com/subscribe
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/exhsclub/
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@exhsclub
• Email me at [email protected]