Exceptional Parenting Podcast

Cleaning my son's room I noticed a whiteboard we had bought him for car trips. I picked it up to put it away and saw written on it something that stopped me in my tracks.

The words there brought back memories of my older sister who, after battling an unseen mental illness of depression or bipolar or something that went undiagnosed, ended her suffering by taking her own life at the age of 24.

Since then I've always wondered if there were signs I missed. Had she reached out? Did I just not see it? Was I too busy with my own life that I couldn't hear what she wasn't saying through her words?

Looking back now, with what I know, there were a lot of cries for help.

Both my son and my sister had called out for help many times, but I had missed it. Since then, I've changed the way I show up for those around me, to support them, and be in a position to hear what they might not be saying through their words.

In this episode, you'll learn the three things I've changed that help me be more aware, more present, and more sensitive to any call for help.

Raising kids who listen, respect others, and don't talk back isn't an easy job. Especially for anyone who grew up in an authoritarian home where it was expected that kids "do what they are told" without question "or else..."   So how does a mom integrate positive parenting strategies with the rules and expectations for helping out around the house without having to yell, bribe, or beg? It starts with three small changes I share here.    In part 1, episode 22 you learned:  -why your kid isn't listening -how to talk so your kid will listen without having to yell -the one small change you can make today to encourage your kid to be more cooperative    In this episode, part 2, you will learn: -what to do when your kid says no -how to say no without it ending in a meltdown -how to teach your child to be respectful, and know when to say no, and when not to        

Raising kids who listen, respect others, and don't talk back isn't an easy job. Especially for anyone who grew up in an authoritarian home where it was expected that kids "do what they are told" without question "or else..."   So how does a mom integrate positive parenting strategies with the rules and expectations for helping out around the house without having to yell, bribe, or beg? It starts with three small changes I share here.    In this episode, you will learn -why your kid isn't listening -how to talk so your kid will listen without having to yell -the one small change you can make today to encourage your kid to be more cooperative    In episode 33 you'll get part 2 of this workshop which will show you -what to do when your kid says no -how to say no without it ending in a meltdown -how to teach your child to be respectful, and know when to say no, and when not to

There are likely millions of different parenting practices out there. Different authors, coaches, mentors, and experts all laying out strategies, and tactics for "getting kids to behave"

Some of the more popular strategies include "ignoring junk behavior" and "praising positive behavior." Coaches are calling these positive parenting practices, stating that these two strategies will eliminate 98% of all junk behavior, and teach kids to be more calm.

In this episode Alfie Kohn dives into the research and practical long term, damaging effects of these two practices.

Here, in this episode you'll learn;

*how to switch from a "doing to" to "working with" approach in parenting

*why ignoring behavior, sending kids to timeout, or withdrawing attention is damaging long term

*how praising behavior creates less intrinsic rewards for kids

*the research behind these practices

*how most "behaviorist" parenting practices originated and why they aren't effective for kids in the long run

Alfie is an author of 14 books, the one I personally have read and highly recommend is called Unconditional Parenting. All his books, blog articles, and work can be found on alfiekohn.org

Mindfulness is somewhat of a buzz word in mom communities right now. I usually see it associated with regular yoga practices, meditations, or calming routines. .

BUT for moms who don't see themselves meditating, taking and hour break for a yoga flow, what can mindfulness look like?

In this episode Cameron Kleimo from http://www.sensorymom.com/ shares the following

• How to set an example of self care for our kids
• Every day practices that take less than 3 minutes to help us stay more calm and less triggered by our kids' emotions
• How to help kids learn to understand and work through their own emotions mindfully
• What to do when we end up losing it, and how those moments can bring us closer to really utilizing the family bonds as a support system

You can find Cameron at:

www.sensorymom.com

https://www.facebook.com/cameronkleimo/

https://www.instagram.com/cameronsensorymom/

On instagram I spent the first part of April debunking parenting myths. (find me at imperfect_mom_)

The one that had the most feedback by far was that timeouts are not a form of positive parenting.

 

If you would have told me this 5 years ago I would have questioned it, I would have denied it, and told you that it was better than freaking out, yelling, or punishing my kids.

 

While that is true, I've recently heard research about the long term effects of timeouts from the author of Unconditional parenting, alfie kohn.

 

If you are feeling like timeouts aren't really helping change your kids behavior, if they are more frustrating than helpful, or you are just wanting a more positive way of parenting, this episode is for you!

 

In this episode you'll learn:

*The negative effects of timeout

How it can lead to depression and low self esteem

 *More productive ways to help kids deal with big emotions that cause negative behaviors

 

I imagine most every parent wants to teach their kid how to be a responsible, respectful human. HOW that happens is the magic question.

 

Often we are told we need to "teach our kids a lesson" when they talk back, misbehave, or don't do what we ask.

 

But do kids actually LEARN when we go through all the hassle of using timeouts, threats, or punishments to teach them these lessons? Research stays they don't…..

In this episode we dive deep into unlearning what we thought we knew about "teaching kids a lesson" and instead focus on how to truly teach in a way our kids will learn in a positive, supportive, and effective way.

We will cover...

What do we teach with punishments?

 

What do kids learn with consequences?

 

What do they need to learn to change their behavior? Skills, Ross Greene

How do we teach them skills?

Positive discipline is something I thought patient parents used with easy going kids, and because I'm neither patient nor a mom of easy-going kids, I never felt like it was something I could do. 

In this episode Jeanne-Marie beautifully explained how positive discipline can work for even the toughest situations. Her real life experiences and research based practices come together in this episode to outline a very practical approach to positive discipline. But, it's not what you think. 

Don't let the word "discipline" fool you. It's not a way of forming punishments, consequences, or anything else like that. Jeanne-Marie talks about discipline for what it is, a way of teaching intentionally and positively. 

This episode blew my mind and I hope it does the same for you. 

You can find Jeanne-Marie at

her blog https://voilamontessori.com/

her instagram https://www.instagram.com/voilamontessori/

her youtube https://www.youtube.com/user/VoilaMontessori

 

It's no secret that motherhood is messy. It's not always like the curated, perfectly edited pictures we see every day on social media, and I believe the magic lies in BEING OK with that. 

In this episode Miranda Anderson from live free creative shares with us how we can really create magical moments even when things seem to be going horribly wrong...but don't be fooled, Miranda isn't JUST sharing great ideas that could be fun to try, she comes 100% from personal experience. 

Miranda opens up and shares details from her year of COMPLETE chaos you won't believe. Through it all, she was able to keep her head up, look for the magic in it, and found that even her kids were able to do the same. Through her story she shares insights about how you can rise above the mess of motherhood to create magical moments too. 

You can find more about Miranda at 

her blog: https://livefreecreative.co/

her podcast: https://livefreecreative.co/podcast/

her instagram: https://www.instagram.com/livefreemiranda/

Sometimes motherhood feels like we are drowning in our own thoughts, worries, and "to-do's". It's almost cliche now to say "I just don't have enough hours in the day to do all that I need to do."

In this episode Rachel Nielsen shows us all how to step away from that mentality so we can truly enjoy motherhood instead of feeling like we're always trying to keep up. 

In the episode you'll learn how to:

• truly let go of the "shoulds" and the pressure of having to be or do it all
• know what is best for you to hold on to 
• how to find your own strengths as a mom
• feel that you are truly focusing on what is important 

Rachel is the host of the popular 3 in 30 takeaways for moms podcast which you can find here 

http://3in30podcast.com/

You can also find her on Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/3in30podcast/