Extemporaneously

For the past two presidential elections, a majority of the electorate has held their noses while punching their presidential ballots because of the quality of candidates listed thereon – and nothing improves this year. In fact, it’s the least desirable ticket in the modern era.

In the spirit of fantasy sports, where players are drafted onto fantasy teams and their real-life performances determine the outcome of fantasy matches, we have asked people who they would draft to be the next president of the United States. The answer will surprise you.

One of the candidates believes he is ordained by God and the other candidate actually was ordained by the one percent. Welcome to Incontinence 2024 - because when all is said and done, everyone is going to need a wardrobe change.

It's been twenty-one days since a nursing home fry cook evaded the Secret Service with all of the precision and guile of Daffy Duck outsmarting Elmer Fudd, and yet the Federal Bureau of Ineptitude Investigation has yet to conjure a modicum of motive for Thomas Crooks to have wanted former president Donald Trump dead.

Jacobin Brothers™ find a motive hiding in place sight.

As soon as the first bullet left Thomas Crooks' rifle on its way toward Donald Trump, pronouncements of a second shooter flooded the bitwaves. Let's talk about it.

The Democrats are in deep doo-doo – and so are the democratic processes they claim to care about so much.

A discussion of 2024's presumptive presidential candidates: Clown A, Clown B, and Clown C.

As Earth approaches the conclusion of another journey around the sun – or the Sun around Earth, if you subscribe to alternative facts - and the year 5345 on the Jacobin Calendar draws to a close, we pause to contemplate the global events that distracted our attention more than others.

Joe Biden, like every president since John Adams, wants you to believe he wields the power to improve the economy. Conversely, his detractors would have you believe that he bears sole responsibility for skyrocketing inflation and outrageously priced concert tickets.

Borrowing from the eponymous political term of the 1980's, Bidenomics would have you believe that Uncle Joe Biden is here to save the people from the evil capitalists.

Does the price of oil, and therefore gasoline, obey the laws of supply and demand? If not, who controls the production and price of oil?

Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. is the last politically active member of the Papa Joe Kennedy Clan. Will his independent campaign for president crack the two-party system or will he be yet another footnote in the littany of also-rans?