Facets of Connection

How the patterns we struggle against can become pathways to deeper states of being, greater choice, and lasting change.

What if the parts of yourself you most want to change aren’t actually the problem?

In this conversation, Sarah Melissa Oswald and personal transformation coach Mark Andreas explore Core Transformation®—a process that approaches our unwanted behaviors, emotional reactions, and internal patterns not as obstacles to overcome, but as doorways into something deeper.

Through personal stories, practical examples, and a fascinating exploration of how change actually happens, Sarah and Mark examine what becomes possible when we stop fighting our patterns and begin listening to what they’re trying to do for us.

Core Transformation® begins with a surprisingly compassionate premise. The parts of us responsible for behaviors or emotional reactions we don’t like are often trying, in their own way, to accomplish something positive. Rather than trying to eliminate those parts, the process follows their intentions inward toward what Mark calls a “core state”—experiences such as peace, love, presence, or simply being.

Sarah and Mark explore how this differs from simply understanding why we do what we do, and why insight alone doesn’t always lead to transformation.

Along the way, Mark shares personal stories of using the process in his own marriage, the origins of Core Transformation® in the work of his mother, Connirae Andreas, and the emerging research examining its effectiveness.

Their conversation also moves beyond any single modality, finding fascinating points of connection between Core Transformation®, Gestalt, Relational Life Therapy, couples work, and the larger question of what helps human beings actually integrate change.

Perhaps the most intriguing possibility they explore is this: the thing we experience as the problem may also contain the pathway toward what we’re actually seeking.

One of the ideas at the center of my work is that our most difficult patterns are rarely random. They developed within a larger relational system, often as intelligent attempts to protect us, maintain connection, or get an important need met.

That doesn’t mean every behavior is healthy or that we shouldn’t take responsibility for how we affect other people. But lasting change rarely comes from declaring war on ourselves.

That’s one reason Mark’s work resonates so deeply with me.

Core Transformation® offers a different way of approaching the parts of ourselves that we wish would simply disappear: not by excusing them, and not by overpowering them, but by becoming curious about what lies underneath them.

Our approaches are different, but throughout this conversation I was struck by how often we arrived at similar territory: the possibility that what looks like the obstacle may actually become the doorway.

If these ideas resonate with you, they’re also woven throughout my relationship coaching practice. I work with individuals and couples to understand the patterns shaping their relationships, build greater capacity for connection and repair, and create change that goes deeper than simply learning what they’re “supposed” to do differently.

Core Transformation® Foundation Training

Core Transformation® Research

Free Microbook

Sweet Fruit from the Bitter Tree: 61 Stories of Creative and Compassionate Ways Out of Conflict

Waltzing with Wolverines: Finding Connection and Cooperation with Troubled Teens

Mark Andreas

If this conversation sparked something in you, I’d love to hear your reflections.

📧 [email protected]

🌐 www.leadyourlovelife.com

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How technology, predictability, and the courage of “not hiding” influence the way we relate.

Why does genuine connection feel harder than ever—even though we’re more connected than at any point in history?

In this episode of Facets of Connection, Sarah sits down with writer and systems thinker Alexander Goldman to explore the often-invisible forces shaping our relationships. Together, they examine how technology, culture, and modern life quietly influence the ways we connect, avoid discomfort, and seek belonging.

Rather than blaming technology itself, Alexander invites us to become more aware of the systems we’re participating in—and to reclaim our capacity for authentic human connection.

One of the most powerful moments of the conversation comes when Alexander offers a simple but profound reframe: instead of striving to be more vulnerable, what if our work is simply to practice not hiding?

Whether you’re navigating friendships, romantic relationships, family life, or your own relationship with technology, this conversation offers a hopeful and deeply practical perspective on what it means to stay human in an increasingly digital world.

In This Episode

• Why connection has become more difficult in modern life

• How technology changes the way we relate to one another

• The hidden influence of systems on our relationships

• Why predictability often feels safer than genuine connection

• Rethinking vulnerability as the practice of not hiding

• Building friendships as adults

• AI, social media, and the future of human connection

• Small practices that help us reconnect with ourselves and others

Reflection

Where in your own life have you chosen predictability over genuine connection?

What might become possible if, instead of trying to be more vulnerable, you simply practiced not hiding?

Resources for Further Exploration

The Interface of Us (Alexander’s Substack)

The Status Game: On Human Life and How to Play It — Will Storr

The Anxious Generation — Jonathan Haidt

Social Health: The Art and Science of Connection — Kasley Killam

The Art of Gathering — Priya Parker

Connect

If this conversation sparked something in you, I’d love to hear your reflections.

📧 [email protected]

🌐 www.leadyourlovelife.com

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What does it mean to stay openhearted in a world that often feels overwhelming?

In this conversation, I sit down with my longtime friend and colleague, Karta Elise Allred, to explore belonging, grief, community, and the quiet practices that help us remain deeply connected—to ourselves, to one another, and to the living world around us.

Together, we reflect on what we’ve lost in our increasingly isolated culture, why our bodies need spaces to process collective grief, and how small acts of gathering, ritual, and kindness can become profound forms of leadership.

Whether you’re feeling hopeful, heartbroken, or simply longing for deeper connection, this conversation is an invitation to remember that we were never meant to navigate life alone.

In This Episode

• Why belonging is a fundamental human need

• The hidden costs of loneliness and hyper-individualism

• Processing grief through movement and community

• The role of ritual in cultivating connection

• Creating spaces where people can be fully witnessed

• How kindness becomes an act of leadership

Reflection

Where in your life are you longing for deeper belonging—and what is one invitation you could extend this week to create it?

Resources & Mentions

• Karta Elise Allred: LinkedIn, Instagram

• Josh Schrei

• Naropa University

• The Mythic Body

• The 360 Emergence

• The Emerald Podcast (hosted by Josh Schrei)

If this conversation sparked something in you, I’d love to hear from you.

📧 [email protected]

🌐 www.leadyourlovelife.com

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In this episode of Facets of Connection, Sarah Melissa Oswald explores why healthy relationships don’t simply happen—they are consciously led. Drawing from Relational Life Therapy, Gestalt Therapy and living-systems thinking, she explains the skills couples need in order to move beyond reactive patterns and build partnerships that grow stronger over time.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why most couples were never taught the skills of relational leadership

• The three phases couples move through as relationships develop and grow

• How reactive conflict patterns can be interrupted

• Why relationships behave like living systems

Facets of Connection explores the many dimensions of human connection—from romantic partnerships to leadership, community, and the inner relationship we have with ourselves.

If you’d like to explore Sarah’s work helping couples build thriving partnerships, visit LeadYourLoveLife.com.

You can also share reflections from this episode by sending a voice memo or email to [email protected].

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This conversation with Cynda Collins Arsenault explores the connections between personal experience, community, and global change. Cynda reflects on how her journey—rooted in her role as a mother and community-builder—has shaped her decades-long work in peace, inclusion, and female leadership. The discussion moves through themes of respectful relationships, the transformative power of grief, and the importance of inclusive communities. Cynda shares stories about creating networks of support for her daughter with disabilities, building organizations that foster peace on earth and in outer space, and highlighting the essential leadership strengths that women bring to collective action. Throughout the conversation, she encourages listeners to find meaning by engaging authentically with their own communities, caring for themselves, and supporting causes that resonate with their passions, all while embracing both the joys and vulnerabilities that come with connection.

Show Notes:

Secure World Foundation

Our Secure Future

Women Powering Change

Erin JC Arsenault

The Radiant Connection Lab

Lead Your Love Life

In conversation, Brett Goldstein reveals a refreshingly honest and relatable approach to both work and life—he and Sarah move fluidly between stories of vulnerability, reflections on personal growth, and practical wisdom cultivated from real mistakes and successes. Their dialogue uncovers how Brett’s leadership style is grounded in emotional openness and “human connection,” exploring how trust and authenticity ripple out from daily professional choices to transform family life, friendships, and even self-understanding. With humor, a bit of grit, and plenty of actionable insights, their exchange highlights that success isn’t measured in numbers, but in the quality of our relationships and our willingness to show up, learn together, and embrace imperfection along the way.​

Show notes:

Grow2Gold Podcast

In this powerful conversation, host Sarah Melissa Oswald speaks with Dr. Jae Sevelius—Senior Research Specialist at Relational Life Foundation and a nationally recognized psychologist—about the evolving research behind Relational Life Therapy (RLT). Together they explore how relationships heal us, the vision for making RLT an evidence-based, scalable modality, and the exciting intersection of relational work and psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy. Jae shares how data, compassion, and authenticity can help transform not only therapy but culture itself.

Show Notes:

Connect with Dr.Jae Sevelius

In this powerful episode, host Sarah Melissa Oswald sits down with therapist and peace facilitator Chiddie Anyasodo to explore her remarkable journey from oil and gas engineer to relational healer. Drawing on her background in engineering systems and her training in Relational Life Therapy (RLT), Chiddie has pioneered a groundbreaking approach to conflict resolution, transforming age-old community tensions in Nigeria through the creation of the “Five Masquerades” metaphor.

Chiddie shares how she helped a village locked in a 19-year conflict find common ground, peace, and even laughter by translating complex relational dynamics into cultural stories that resonated deeply with her community. From navigating patriarchal structures to disarming resistance and shame, Chiddie demonstrates how relational skills can heal not just couples, but entire communities.

This conversation is both inspiring and practical, a glimpse into how systemic change begins with relational courage, creativity, and compassion.

Chiddie Anyasodo is a UK based psychotherapist, conflict-resolution specialist, and founder of Chotayah, working at the point where psychoanalytic depth meets community peacebuilding. 

She spent her early career in the high-stakes world of oil and gas with Schlumberger and Baker Hughes, leading real-time diagnostics and strategy across Africa, Europe, and the Middle East. This experience honed her eye for the hidden relational dynamics that drive systemic failure. Identifying a critical gap in research on African relationship dynamics, she began a Doctorate in Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy at the University of Exeter. Alongside a thriving private practice, she serves in some of the UK’s most demanding clinical environments: within the NHS as a psychotherapist specialising in personality disorder and complex trauma, and as a therapist for a major UK local authority. 

She is the creator of the “Five Masquerades,” a groundbreaking, culturally resonant translation of Relational Life Therapy’s losing strategies that changes behaviour without shame; in 2025 she helped catalyse a breakthrough de-escalation in a decades-long community conflict by pairing parity with accountability under a single, even code. Chiddie is the author of the forthcoming book The Festival of the Five Masquerades, anchors a growing curriculum, and is collaborating with the Relational Life Foundation to shape this work into trainable tools for couples, leaders, and communities worldwide.Show Notes: Scholarship application for RLT

Website: ⁠https://chotayah.com/⁠

LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/chidiebereanya/⁠

In this episode of Facets of Connection, host Sarah Melissa Oswald sits down with Iuri Melo to explore the urgent youth mental health crisis and the power of proactive solutions. 
Iuri is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 20 years of experience and the proud father of five. He’s the co-founder of SchoolPulse, a nationwide student support service that delivers positivity, optimism, and growth mindset tools to students, parents, and faculty via text and email. After several teen suicides in his community, Iuri co-created SchoolPulse in 2017 to proactively support student well-being. He’s also the author of Mind Over Grey Matter and the teen best-seller Know Thy Selfie, and the developer of “Adventure Based Therapy.” With over 300 schools in 25+ states, Iuri’s mission to “bless the human family” is inspiring students every day through kindness, psychology, and powerful weekly videos.
Together, Sarah and Iuri dive into:

• Why positive relationships are the #1 protective factor for student well-being.
• How proactive, daily check-ins can prevent crises before they escalate.
• The role of positive psychology and growth mindset in helping teens thrive.
• How schools, parents, and communities can build stronger systems of support.

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This heartfelt conversation is filled with optimism, practical strategies, and a shared commitment to ending the epidemic of loneliness by fostering connection at home, in schools, and across communities.
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• Learn More About School Pulse: 2 Minute Video
• All School Pulse Videos
• School Pulse: Most Comprehensive Mental Health Resource Page in the Country (for every school, parent, and student)
• Know Thy Selfie Book
• Mind Over Grey Matter Book
• Email Iuri at [email protected]

• Connection Compass
• Community Conversation Series
• RLT Relationship Skills Bootcamps
• Sliding Scale RLT 
• Relationship Revival Course

In this conversation, Sarah sits down with Kathi Burns, a best-selling author, board certified professional organizer, personal stylist & nationally recognized for her simple organizing & style solutions. She has also been featured on Good Morning America as a successful woman owned business. Sarah and Kathi explore how our relationship with our built and digital environments impacts our well-being, productivity, and connections with others. Kathi Burns is .Kathi shares her mission of helping people embrace change with less fear, whether through decluttering a kitchen counter, streamlining business systems, or reframing how we approach “piles” in our lives. Together, they discuss how organization reduces overwhelm, strengthens relationships, and creates space for joy, creativity, and resilience. This episode offers practical wisdom and inspiring insights for anyone seeking more ease in their life and relationships.Show Notes:

• Free Simplify Your Life Webinar on Sept 16th 
• Free Productivity Check list (Six Steps for Ultimate Productivity)
• Organized and Energized 
• Add Space to Your Life 
• How to Master Your Muck (book)

Resources:

• Community Conversation Series
• RLT Relationship Skills Bootcamps
• Sliding Scale RLT 
• Relationship Revival Course