Factory Sealed Video Game Podcasts

We adjust our drip lines and set off into the night in search of a Super NES Classic Edition only to find a FamicomBox, a Panasonic Q, and an impossibly linear path to Dracula in Super Castlevania IV.

Much merriment is in the air as Montague Glover himself joins us for a chat about Yoshi’s Island and Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age. Meanwhile, Mike attempts to steal everyone’s catchphrases for his own, with disastrous results.

We’ve plugged our Black & Deckers into the Matrix to guide cheesy wotsit Jake through Shadowrun, but not before stopping off to discuss the finer points of the Crash N Sane trilogy.

Mike is declared an official podcast member and instantly says the worst thing ever before the Final Fantasy victory ham horn blares triumphantly as we breed some chocobos, summon some Knights of the Rounds, and spend hours fighting magical pots as we roll the credits on Final Fantasy VII.

Tom’s back from Japan, just in time to help Aerith-th-th-th, SEXY, Cloud (or Tom), Ket Shee, Foul-Mouthed Cid, Cool Vincent, Red Dog Thing, Big Barret and Useless Yuffie continue their adventure through Final Fantasy VII.

Eric meets a potential serial killer while we polish off our Buster Swords, equip our best materia, and begin the first part of our deep dive into the gaming masterpiece that is Final Fantasy 7. Expect many Kleenex to be consumed.

The world heavyweight champion and serial ear eater Mike Tyson joins us to talk Earthworm Jim 1 and 2, a ballerina you don’t want to watch, and Jives, the perpetually grooving butler.

Alundra, unfortunately, takes a slight turn for the worse as we progress into the second half, Nintendo baffles us with their decision to discontinue the NES Classic, and we all learn that taking relationship advice from Dan is a bad idea.

If there’s one thing we could say about this show, it’s that it’ll probably give you a massive Bonaire as we play through the first half of the classic RPG, Alundstalkorrrrrr (or Alundra).

Mountains are climbed (pointlessly) and we learn that saving on Crash Bandicoot is even stupider than naming a character Willy the Wombat.