Failing Motherhood

Ever feel like you're doing it ALL and it's never ENOUGH?

My guest today, Erica Djossa is a registered psychotherapist, sought-after maternal mental health specialist, and the founder of wellness company Momwell. Erica is frequently featured in media publications and her popular Momwell podcast has over a million downloads. 

Her book - Releasing the Mother Load: How to Carry Less and Enjoy Motherhood More comes out TODAY (Tuesday, April 9th) and our conversation today highlights so much of the meaningful work inside it.

After she shares her "breakdown to breakthrough", Erica reiterates it’s not just us - MOMS ARE NOT OKAY.  She introduces ideas like the motherload, our motherhood filing cabinet, and an activity called a Values Sort to help us become more conscious of the default patterns we've found ourselves in and how to dig our way out.

IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED...

• Where the myth of the "perfect mother" comes from
• The 5 core beliefs of "intensive mothering" and what to replace them with
• The measuring stick we should use to evaluate ourselves instead of blood, sweat and tears

DON'T MISS-

• What it truly means to be a good mom

// CONNECT WITH ERICA DJOSSA //
Links to order the book: Ericadjossa.com
Website: http://Momwell.com
Instagram: @momwell

I believe in you + I'm cheering you on.
Come say hi!  I'm @parent_wholeheartedly on Insta.
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Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

This week I am partnering with my friend Amy Lang, (from episode 80 of my Failing Motherhood podcast) one of the most respected experts on talking to kids about sexuality and relationships, to bring you a class all about your boy* and puberty!

I know if you've found this podcast, you're an intentional parent.  You take your role seriously and you have questions.  Well, Amy has answers!

Join us for Puberty Prep for Moms of BOYS  

but you'll have to act fast!

It's tomorrow, Wednesday, April 3rd, 2024

10:00 - 11:30 AM Pacific / 12:00 - 1:30 PM Central / 1:00 - 2:30 PM Eastern

ONLY $29

***If you can't make it LIVE, register and the recorded replay will be sent to you to watch with your partner at your convenience!

REGISTER HERE -
https://www.tickettailor.com/events/amylang/1193666

What’s covered:

• What will happen to their bodies and brains
• How to navigate challenging behaviors and big feelings
• How to show them they can trust you (even though you don’t have their parts)
• How to talk about:
  • Masturbation
  • Wet Dreams
  • Taking care of their body
  • P*rn (tiny bit about this)

Hope to see you there!

// CONNECT WITH AMY LANG //
https://birdsandbeesandkids.com/

REGISTER HERE -
https://www.tickettailor.com/events/amylang/1193666

*FREE* MASTERCLASS: Learn how to CONFIDENTLY parent your strong-willed child WITHOUT threats, bribes or giving in altogether so you can BREAK FREE of power struggles + guilt
www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/unapologetic

www.parentingwholeheartedly.com

Many parents today find themselves in the sandwich generation where stress, guilt and burnout is real.

My guest today, Michele Magner, has earned her MBA and Master's certification in gerontology and is a Gerontology PhD student at the University of Nebraska Omaha. She's a certified life coach, certified dementia practitioner, and certified conscious aging facilitator and an adjunct professor in the fall of 2024.
 
As an experienced family caregiver with many years in the senior living industry, she understands the challenges that you are facing as you care for those you love.
 
Our conversation included dissecting how we are managing stress, how core values play into our capacity and integrity, why it's okay to fill your cup just for you, and the difference between making promises and making plans.

IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED...

• Michele's vulnerable example of "failing" her daughter and the powerful realizations she took from it
• The 3 "C's" all caregivers need
• The Importance of bringing your kids into hard conversations

DON'T MISS-

• Fascinating research around the relationship between chronological age and subjective age, and its effect on aging

// CONNECT WITH MICHELE MAGNER //
Website: www.michelemagner.com
Instagram: @inspiredcaring
LinkedIn: Michele Magner

I believe in you + I'm cheering you on.
Come say hi!  I'm @parent_wholeheartedly on Insta.
Apply to work together: parentingwholeheartedly.com/Apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

Which one are you?  Which one is your partner?

Not only does the second half of your parenting life begin when you understand you're parenting a strong-willed child, but your self awareness sky rockets when you realize you're a Worrying Warrior.

Your next step is to evaluate whether you're parenting with a "Just tell me what to do" parent or an "It is what it is" parent.

In this episode, I break down each of these three parenting approaches, the motives behind their actions, and wedge of divide that grows between parents that feel they need to overcompensate for the other.

IN THIS EPISODE, I SHARED...

• How to identify your parenting style
• The long term ramifications of you + your partner parenting from opposite ends of the spectrum
• The foundation to build from and move forward with

DON'T MISS:

• How Chelsy and Matt found common ground 

// CONNECT WITH DANIELLE //
Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com
IG: @parent_wholeheartedly
APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

Have you ever wondered what life after a divorce would even look like?

Today's guest, Paige Dempsey, is an anti-anxiety Dating and Relationship Coach for women. 

In Paige’s words, she got married late and divorced early. She’s been a step mom, mom of a child with her ex, and a solo mother by choice.  At the same time as her and her husband were separating, her best friend was diagnosed with cancer. She felt like she was just getting by.

In this episode, Paige holds nothing back as she narrates her thoughts and feelings both inside and outside of her marriage. She shares how she believes divorce can strengthen the kids’ experience of and relationship with their fathers, the mindset she used to move forward without fear, and the patterns she sees in her dating clients. 

This episode is for you if you’ve wondered what’s on the other side of a divorce, been intimidated by leaving or dating again, or just hope to glean wisdom for your current relationships!

IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED...

• How Paige decided getting a divorce was the right decision
• Why Paige and her Ex get along now better than ever
• The difference between therapy and coaching

DON'T MISS-

• Paige's timeless dating advice, especially if you're on the apps

// MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE//
UnF*ck your Brain podcast - Kara Loewentheil 

Ep. 121 of Failing Motherhood - Solo Motherhood by Choice - 9/12/23

// CONNECT WITH PAIGE DEMPSEY //
Website: www.paigedempseycoaching.com
Instagram: @datingcoachpaige
TikTok: @datingcoachpaige

I believe in you + I'm cheering you on.
Come say hi!  I'm @parent_wholeheartedly on Insta.
Apply to work together: parentingwholeheartedly.com/Apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

Say you're sorry. "I'M SORRY! GAAHHH!!" they ROAR from the other room. 
Lessons were learned, right?

Often when parenting strong-willed kids, the messages we're trying to send, the skills we're trying to model and the lessons we're trying to teach get lost at sea in a battle of control and BIG emotions.

Instead of checking the box to make ourselves feel better, I'm breaking down why I don't insist my kids apologize and what we do instead.

IN THIS EPISODE, I SHARED...

• Why especially strong-willed kids struggle so much with the vulnerability of apologizing
• What choices you have in how you react that doesn't let them "get away with it"
• The way my kids ask each other for forgiveness and forgive the other.

DON'T MISS:

• What to say when they shut down the choices you offer

// CONNECT WITH DANIELLE //
Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com
IG: @parent_wholeheartedly
APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

Have you ever thought these things while attempting to play with your kid(s)?

• I’d rather be doing something else. 
• I should want to do this. 
• This is boring. OR This is too much. 
• I feel guilty bc of how much I hate this. 
• This is not fun. This is not easy.  How do I get this to stop?

You’re not alone, and my guest today, Sara Olsher is going to share a brutally honest take at the real life challenges and guilt associated with play and quality time as a parent.

Cancer survivor, divorced single mom of one, author-illustrator and founder of Mighty and Bright, Sara has a credible and honest take on these challenges as well as a unique, creative solution.

We know we’re supposed to spend quality time with our kids. We also know it’s quite often much easier said than done.

In our conversation we take the time to name the obvious realities of being bored, overstimulated or doing it wrong as well as the real dynamics that make it even more challenging like being a single parent, having multiple kids, having a chronic illness, and being neurodivergent or just being under so much stress.

IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED...

• Why we believe it’s a crime that your mental health as a parent is not a consideration with most expert advice of what’s best for kids
• How 1:1 time prevents negative behaviors
• The critical components to make sure play together ACTUALLY fills their cup

DON'T MISS-

• Our beef with playing "The Floor Is Lava" :)

// MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE//
Sara's previous episodes:
Ep. 37- Talking about Hard Things - April 13th, 2021
Ep. 51 - Kids’ Mental Health at Home - October 26th, 2021

Time Timer Apps


// CONNECT WITH SARA OLSHER //
Website: MightyandBright.com
Instagram:  @mightyandbrightco
SPECIAL TIME CARDS: https://mightyandbright.com/products/special-time-cards
Enter code: failingmotherhood for 10% off


I believe in you + I'm cheering you on.
Come say hi!  I'm @parent_wholeheartedly on Insta.
Apply to work together: parentingwholeheartedly.com/Apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

Have you found using timers at your house to be HIT or MISS?

Either it helps tremendously or meltdowns ensue?  What gives?

I'm breaking it all down on today's episode- both the DO's and DON'T's so you understand exactly what's needed to make your use of timers as effective as possible.

Not only do I share key insight into reducing whining, clinging, and complaining, but visual timers are your friend, and it's all about semantics so your child sees the "what's in it for me" factor!

IN THIS EPISODE, I SHARED...

• My go-to recommendation for keeping kids at the dinner table longer
• Ways to make transitions to bedtime or leaving the park so much easier
• How to leverage a timer during play / quality time

DON'T MISS:

• Whether or not you should be making "deals" with your child

//MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE//
7.5 inch Timer
3 inch Timer
Time Timer Apps

// CONNECT WITH DANIELLE //
Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com
IG: @parent_wholeheartedly
APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

Happy Valentine's Day!   This episode is guaranteed to help you tap into more self-love.

I'm talking to Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, psychologist, couples therapist, and relationship expert. She's the host of the podcast, "I'm not your Shrink", and author of "I Didn't Sign Up For This".

Tracy starts by sharing her frustration with a family ski event not going according to plan.  As we dove into our conversation, a theme quickly emerged around feeling not enough, and how our core beliefs about self-worth influence how we parent and interact with partners.

Tracy breaks down tangible ways we can level up our communication style in our partnerships, as well as how to become more of a friend to ourselves.

IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED...

• The 4 negative communication styles + how to ask for feedback
• 3 Questions to ask yourself to become more self-aware
• How meeting our own needs models healthy behavior for our kids

DON'T MISS-

• The 2 C's required to access self-compassion
• How Tracy has reframed how she sees her strong-willed child

// CONNECT WITH DR. TRACY DALGLEISH //
Instagram:  @drtracyd
Book:  I Didn't Sign Up for This
Podcast: I’m not your Shrink
Website, Be Connected Course: DrTracyD.com

I believe in you + I'm cheering you on.
Come say hi!  I'm @parent_wholeheartedly on Insta.
Apply to work together: parentingwholeheartedly.com/Apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

Whether you’re trying to decide whether to have another child, hoping to salvage your marriage, on your way to creating or owning your own business, or are just desperate to not feel so alone without family support - this is your episode.

Steph Pellish is a wife, a mom of 4, owns 2 businesses, and  has always been a dreamer with big ideas. After feeling lost and lonely, Steph has built a community of entrepreneurial women who come together regularly to grow, learn, support and collaborate with each other. 

In this episode, Steph chronicles her reckoning with wanting to have a 4th child, having that child 6 weeks before lockdown, and her husband telling her 6 weeks later that things weren’t working. 

In the most relatable of ways, she shares the journey into healing she went through personally and in their marriage to come back stronger, while finding the support she deserved.

IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED...

• The clarity Steph needed when deciding whether or not to have a 4th child when she and her husband didn't see eye-to-eye
• What it takes to be successful as an entrepreneur
• The importance of finding like-minded women, not just the other moms who happen to be in the play groups

DON'T MISS-

• What people kept telling her when she was struggling that made her feel crazy!

// CONNECT WITH STEPH PELLISH //
Instagram:  @thriving_through_motherhood
FB Group:  Motherhood, Life, & Business Coaching - with Stephanie Pellish

I believe in you + I'm cheering you on.
Come say hi!  I'm @parent_wholeheartedly on Insta.
Apply to work together: parentingwholeheartedly.com/Apply

Send us Fan Mail over Text.

Support the show

START HERE:
CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS
Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells
*FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident