When I helped swear in Andrew Shue to the Drug Free Marshalls, I was ten years old, and little did I know, Andrew’s sister had just starred in “Leaving Las Vegas,” newly released in theaters.

Whatever your thoughts on getting into Nicolas Cage and drinking delicious Budweiser Zero with me this Pride season, consider the opioid crisis and whether it’s really fair to give illegal drug pushers less opportunity to convert your children as sales leads than legal ones.

From dental hygiene to the food pyramid, our profound religious beliefs can play a factor in so many aspects of day to day interactions without ever coming up in conversation. Fortunately I am here to share some major investigative insights that can serve as highly practical for anyone who feels they lack a father figure to guide them.

Anyone who says “I smell a rat” is lying. When you’ve gotten close enough to smell one, it’s probably too late. If the church has started actively incentivizing someone to build a rats nest near the exit of my building, I’m pretty sure that counts as bioterrorism.

For me it is so gratifying when my multi-interest black ops perpetrators achieve narrative depth. There should be a prize for that. I also wonder if anyone knows where I can get hired as a Private Investigator to stalk someone to an acting class so the detective agency will cover my tuition. It is a pleasure to serve you. Please be careful! Contents are hot. See Multi-Part Episode “Torn Curtain” for reference.

In this episode we dissect how Scientology might go about interfering with my serotonin and dopamine levels via sabotaging my jogging routine with one of their signature clogged drains.

Among my list of grievances that obviously points to a contracted corporate surveillance capitalism campaign to sabotage my book from getting published in order to leverage other artists, here’s one about a reading hosted by a friend of my former partner’s honeytrap and current spouse.

Why is The Apple Store getting incentive to target me with MKUltra experiments? The “K” in “MKUltra” stands for “Karen”. Additionally-does anyone have suggestions for where I can get a nice, well-priced, laundry-machine-safe seven-set of black turtlenecks? RIP Steve Jobs. You were a visionary. I know you would have loved my podcast. This episode is dedicated to you.

I honestly don’t know what to make of this. Is Google getting paid to do experiments on me or is Scientology just positioning spies inside there as well?

Before I was an adult being covertly persecuted for writing absurdist humor about a totalitarian church and a high profile rape suspect, I was a middle-schooler being chided by adults for responding to mockery from privileged kids, with insults that were better written than theirs.

So now, it makes sense that downtown theater artists are getting incentive to try to make me falsely appear unprofessional for responding gracefully yet firmly to their pre-meditated psychological warfare campaign-a tired narrative that my haters are ready and resigned to accept.

In this episode we discuss one of many instances suggesting foul play from a director who befriended me and referenced phrases that I used in private zoom calls with my therapist as a form of psychological warfare. The math is simple. I need directors and a literary agent who knows how to generate more currency working with me than Scientology, or Kargman and Brooks/Kaplan families can ever give them to work against me.