Faithfully Single - Not Settling

Do you actually need to get out of your comfort zone to meet someone—or is that just another piece of dating advice that puts more pressure on singles?

In this episode of Faithfully Single — Not Settling, we talk about the difference between getting uncomfortable and changing who you are just to find a relationship.

Trying speed dating when you're nervous? Maybe that's worth pushing yourself to do. Going to an activity you think you'd enjoy even though you don't know anyone? Absolutely.

But sitting through horror movies you hate because guys will be there? Taking up hobbies you have zero interest in just to meet someone? Maybe we've crossed a line. 😂

We also talk about how easy it is to stay home in our comfortable little bubbles—and then wonder why we aren't meeting anyone. Sometimes getting out of your comfort zone can be as simple as doing something you already enjoy, just with other people.

And maybe there's another mindset shift we need: stop going everywhere with the sole purpose of meeting someone.

Go to dinner because you want a great dinner. Go to the activity because it sounds fun. Try something new because you're curious. And if you happen to meet someone along the way? Even better.

You don't have to become someone else to increase your chances of finding love. But sometimes you do have to give yourself more chances to meet people.

We're challenging ourselves to do one thing outside our comfort zones every week. Want to join us? Tell us in the comments what you're going to try. ❤️

Why is it perfectly easy to talk to a complete stranger…until that stranger happens to be someone you find really attractive? 😂

In this episode of Faithfully Single — Not Settling, we talk about getting out of our comfort zones and actually starting conversations with people we're interested in.

Casey shares what happened when she spotted a really good-looking guy at the airport and worked up the courage to ask him a question. The conversation went fine—but then came challenge #2: What do you say next?!

We talk about how to keep a conversation going, finding something you have in common, asking follow-up questions, making yourself look more approachable, and why our minds somehow go completely blank when the stakes suddenly feel higher.

Because sometimes meeting someone doesn't require a dating app or the perfect setup. It might start with simply looking up, taking out your headphones, and saying something.

And if the conversation fizzles? At least you tried instead of going home wondering “What if?”

Maybe the trick is to stop thinking of every attractive stranger as a potential relationship and just talk to them like…a human. Easier said than done when they're hot. 😂

Help us out: What's your go-to question or conversation starter when you're making small talk with someone new?

Why do people assume that being single means you're lonely—or worse, unhappy? In this episode of Faithfully Single — Not Settling, we talk about what it's like to genuinely enjoy your life while realizing that the people around you may see your singleness very differently. We get into why the world can sometimes feel designed for couples, why having other single friends can be so important, and the strange feeling of being the only single person in a group of couples. We also talk about faith and the harder questions that can come with long-term singleness. What if marriage doesn't happen when you expect it to? Can you still build a meaningful, joyful life while continuing to hope for it? And we make an important distinction: loneliness and unhappiness aren't the same thing. You can have lonely days and still be happy with your life. You can want marriage without believing your life is incomplete. And seasons of loneliness can even become opportunities to deepen your relationship with God, discover new interests, and build a life you genuinely enjoy. So maybe instead of asking someone, “Why are you still single?” we should start asking: “What makes you happy?” ❤️ If you're single and happy—even if you have lonely days—comment “I AM HAPPY.”

Birthdays are supposed to be happy—but sometimes when you're single, they can bring up feelings you weren't expecting.

In this special birthday episode of Faithfully Single — Not Settling, we talk honestly about what it feels like to get another year older when your life doesn't look the way you once imagined it would.

You can have a beautiful life, be genuinely grateful for what you have, and still grieve the life you thought you'd have by now. Maybe you thought you'd be married. Maybe you thought you'd have children. And sometimes a birthday makes the passing of time feel especially real.

We talk about why gratitude and sadness can coexist, why wanting more doesn't mean you're ungrateful for what you already have, and some of the surprisingly practical challenges of celebrating a birthday while single—like realizing there isn't automatically someone there to plan the day with you.

We also come to a realization in real time: maybe single friends need to be more intentional about celebrating one another. ❤️

Your life is worth celebrating now, even while you're still hoping and praying for things that haven't happened yet.

Happy Birthday, KC!

Have you ever been told you're too picky when it comes to dating?

Maybe you have a clear idea of the values, character, faith, and future you want in a partner—but at what point do healthy standards turn into unrealistic expectations?

In this episode of Faithfully Single — Not Settling, we try to figure out where that line actually is.

We talk about the difference between standards and preferences, why sharing important values matters more than whether someone likes the same hobbies, and which questions might actually be worth asking early in dating.

Because wanting someone who shares your beliefs about faith, family, or the future isn't quite the same as rejecting someone because you don't like his shoes—or the way he holds his fork. 😂

We also get into the question of how many dates you should give someone before deciding there's no spark. Rebecca shares her mom's three-date rule—and how she almost stopped dating Rebecca's dad after date #2 before deciding to give him one more chance.

Maybe the goal isn't to lower your standards. Maybe it's learning which things really deserve to be standards in the first place.

Keep your standards. Let go of perfection. And don't settle. ❤️

What if the person sitting across from you is just as nervous about being judged as you are? Dating requires us to evaluate some pretty important things: Are we compatible? Do we share similar values? Is there attraction? Could this actually work? But how do we figure all of that out without making the other person feel like they're being judged? In this episode of Faithfully Single — Not Settling, we talk about the difference between evaluating compatibility and judging someone as a person. We discuss asking questions without turning a date into an interrogation, disagreeing without making someone feel wrong, and being honest when your values or lifestyles simply don't line up. KC also shares a dating experience where a guy realized their Sunday priorities might be incompatible—and chose honesty rather than pretending it wouldn't matter. We also get into differences in religion, lifestyle and politics, and whether every disagreement really needs to be a dealbreaker. And maybe the biggest reminder is this: while you're sitting there worrying about what your date thinks of you, they may be sitting there worrying about exactly the same thing. Evaluate the relationship. Get to know the person. But remember that incompatibility doesn't mean there's something wrong with either of you. ❤️ Comment “NO JUDGMENT” if dating has ever made you feel like you're constantly being evaluated.

Have you ever left a date obsessing over one question: “Did they like me?”—without stopping to ask yourself if you even liked them?

In this episode of Faithfully Single, Not Settling, we talk about the way dating and rejection can quickly become tied to our self-worth. One bad date, unanswered text, or lack of a second date can send us into a spiral of overthinking what we did wrong. But what if we're giving strangers too much power? Instead of analyzing every word, expression, and text to figure out how they felt about us, maybe we should start asking: Did I enjoy their company? Did I feel like myself? Did I actually like them? We also talk about rejection, comparison, dating anxiety, and remembering that someone deciding you're not the right fit doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. At the end of the day, your worth doesn't come from whether someone chooses you. Your worth was never theirs to determine.

Question for you: Have you ever cared more about whether they liked you than whether you actually liked them?

Sometimes singleness feels loneliest when you're surrounded by people who already have the very thing you're praying for.

In this episode of Faithfully Single, Not Settling, we get honest about the complicated emotions that can come with watching friends and family find relationships, get married, and build the life you hope for someday. How do you celebrate other people without comparison stealing your joy? How do you fight jealousy without pretending you don't feel lonely? And how do you keep trusting God's timing when you've been praying for something for a long time? We talk about gratitude, comparison, God's bigger picture, and looking back at the things we once desperately wanted that we're now thankful didn't work out. The wait can be hard. But just because you don't understand the timing yet doesn't mean there isn't a purpose in it.

Question for you: How do you stay hopeful when it feels like everyone around you has what you're still praying for?

Have you ever decided someone was “out of your league” before you even gave them a chance?

In this episode of Faithfully Single, Not Settling, we talk about confidence, attraction, rejection, and the stories we tell ourselves before anything has even happened. Sometimes we assume someone wouldn’t be interested because of their looks, status, fitness, money, or lifestyle—but are they actually out of our league, or are we ruling ourselves out first? We get honest about how calling someone “out of our league” can sometimes be a protection mechanism. If we convince ourselves it would never work, we never have to risk rejection. But what happens when two people are both interested... and neither one makes a move because they assume the other person wouldn't be interested? Maybe confidence isn't believing everyone will choose you. Maybe it's giving someone the chance to decide for themselves.

Question for you: Have you ever assumed someone was out of your league and never given the connection a chance? 

Does dating sometimes feel like you’re constantly being evaluated? Your pictures. Your bio. Your job. Your relationship history. Whether you have kids. Even the way you worded one sentence on your profile. In this episode of Faithfully Single — Not Settling, we talk about how dating apps can make it incredibly easy to judge someone based on a tiny snapshot of who they actually are—and how hard it can be when we feel that same judgment coming back at us. We also admit that we’re guilty of it too. Would we swipe left on someone online who we might actually really like if we met them in person? Are endless options making us more selective? And why can rejection, ghosting, or one little swipe feel so personal? Attraction matters, but some of the people we’ve liked most in real life became attractive because we got to know their personalities—something a few photos and prompts can’t always capture. Dating apps can make people feel like profiles instead of people. And when there’s always another person one swipe away, it becomes really easy to forget how much humanity exists behind that screen. If online dating has ever made you feel judged—or you've caught yourself judging someone too quickly—you’re definitely not alone.