Family Matters

Have you ever been fed up with your spouse’s friends? It’s hard to get excited about a social event when you really don’t have much in common with the crowd of people your spouse like to hang out with. However, in marriage there has to be some give and take, and perhaps there’s no benefit in denying your spouse that time with the friends of his or her choice.

How can I be sure that my spouse is really repentant for the pain he has caused me? A year ago, I discovered he'd been involved in an emotional affair with another woman for nearly a decade. He also has a history of explosive anger which has often led to verbal abuse. On a number of occasions he has actually thrown things at me. Though he's ended the extramarital relationship, softened his demeanor somewhat, and even says that he's eager to go to counseling and work on our marriage, I can't help feeling confused. Once he said to me, "I know I've messed up in the past, but you have a pretty good thing going with me." Several times when I've mentioned his violent behavior, he has responded with, "Yes, I threw things at you, but I missed." He also maintains that he only concealed the affair from me for ten years because he "didn't want to hurt me." I don't feel we can move forward until this is resolved in my mind. What do you think?

We're in the process of getting a divorce, and it seems to be taking a heavy toll on the entire family. Our kids have been acting out in a wide variety of ways. Some of their behavior has been so extreme that I'm becoming seriously concerned about them. What's considered "normal" in a situation like this? What can be done to address the problem?

How can fathers help their girls learn about modesty? I want my daughter to get a handle on this concept before she becomes a teen, but I feel awkward about raising this subject with her. I realize that as a dad I can either be a big asset to her in this area or embarrass her and make her feel uncomfortable. What's the right role for a father here?

How can I calm my child's fears of Satan? Over the past few months my five-year-old has become obsessed with this subject. She's always asking questions about the devil, and she seems terribly afraid of what he might do to her. She goes to Sunday school, and we pray and read the Bible together every day. So far, none of this seems to help. I've done my best to reassure her, but I have to admit that I don't know much about the devil myself. Can you tell me exactly what Scripture has to say about him?

Should I tell my husband that I'm attracted to his closest buddy? I've heard it said this kind of information should be shared between spouses for purposes of accountability, but I'm not sure that this would be wise. Neither man has any clue of my struggle and I don't want to jeopardize their relationship. What should I do?

How should I respond to my husband's repeated infidelities and his blatant request to date other women? We've had a troubled marriage for years. Recently he confessed to extra-marital affairs. I've forgiven him for adulteries, but now he says he wants to develop "outside relationships" while continuing to live in our home. I'm desperate to save our marriage, so I don't want to provoke him unnecessarily. Can you help me?

Should I allow my three-year-old son to play dress-up with his older sisters? He not only enjoys putting on the same frilly dresses they wear, but the costume jewelry as well. This doesn't seem like healthy behavior to me. What can I do to stop it?

We usually find ourselves talking about abuse where the wife is the victim, but on today’s Family Matters we’ll help a husband who is suffering physical abuse from his wife, and give universal steps that must be taken no matter what the abuse and who the perpetrator is.

What do we need to know before adopting a child who has been abused? We're considering adopting a child under the age of 2 who was removed from his birth home due to abuse when only a few months old. He has been in the foster-care system for the past year. What kind of risks are we facing?