Family Matters

What can I do to overcome the sadness that has overtaken me since the death of my husband? How do I step forward into the next phase of my life? He battled a number of challenging health problems during the last two years of his life. As a result, my entire identity became wrapped up in caring for him and meeting his needs. Now that the struggle is over, I feel empty and lost as well as grieved. I honestly don't know where to turn or what to do next. Can you help me?

How can I help my husband see that he is placing the needs and feelings of his parents ahead of mine? After several years of marriage, his attachment to his mom and dad is still so strong that it's causing serious damage to our relationship. I've confronted him about this, but he doesn't see it as a problem.

Does the Bible really say that gambling is wrong? I realize that it's one of those activities – like dancing and playing cards – that religious conservatives have traditionally been "against." But I'm not convinced that there's any solid biblical basis for their opposition to what I regard as innocuous games of chance.

If it's important to maintain clear distinctions between the sexes – and I agree that it is – should we encourage our school-age daughters to think in terms of pursuing non-traditional female career choices? One of our girls has been talking about becoming a firefighter when she grows up. I realize that most people in contemporary secular society wouldn't have any problem with this, but as a conservative Christian I can't help wondering: does a goal like this align with genuinely biblical womanhood? Should I try to steer my daughter in another direction?

Where does the Bible actually say that pre-marital sex is wrong? My parents have always taught me that the Bible commands us not to have sex before marriage. Now that I'm old enough to think for myself, I'm having serious doubts about this. I haven't run across anything in Scripture to support their views. In fact, I can't even find any biblical basis for "traditional" marriage! Isaac and Rebekah didn't have a church wedding. Apparently they just slept together and that was it!

Can we count on God to provide materially for His faithful children? Philippians 4:19 seems to promise that He always will. I've been clinging to this verse since losing my job, but it doesn't seem to have done me and my family much good. Over the past several months we've lost our home, our car, and most of our possessions. This has been hard, but it has also had the effect of raising bigger questions in my mind. I realize that many faithful Christians down through the ages have lived with unmet physical needs. They have struggled under circumstances much harsher than my own. The more I think about this, the harder it is to believe that God's promise is true. Can you help me resolve this crisis of faith?

How can I stop feeling guilty and resist the temptation to be "Superwoman"? I'm a working mother with a preschooler and a couple of school-age kids who are also involved in lots of extra-curricular activities. I have to admit that I feel bad whenever I'm not doing something "productive." My family's schedule is so tight, and there's so much to be done, that I feel compelled to "work" – and sometimes that involves multi-tasking – all the time. If I don't, I quickly become gripped by the fear that things won't get done.

An extramarital affair can cause havoc in a marriage, but hiding the truth of an affair can have far worse long-term consequences.

In this modern world of digital everything, and social media mayhem, it’s very easy to see how extra-marital flirtation and affairs can entice and ensnare unsuspecting partners. With no face-to-face contact, one can believe that there is no real harm in engaging in a little online flirtation, but this is the very behavior that is leading people down a road to destruction in their marriages. We want to make couples aware of the dangers and offer wise counsel as to how they can keep their marriage protected.

How can we make family prayer a priority? We're a Christian family and my spouse and I are eager to raise our kids in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Can you give us some helpful pointers in this area? Our children are small, and it's been a real struggle to make prayer times engaging for them. Do you think we should keep trying? Or should we just wait until they're older?