Family Matters

Can you give me any ideas for helping children celebrate Valentine's Day in a healthy and uplifting way? I always loved February 14 when I was a kid, and I'd like my kids to have the same experience. But I don't want to reinforce our culture's misguided ideas about romance. Any suggestions?

How should we handle our eight-year-old son's strong aversion to being by himself? He sleeps in the same room with his younger sister because he doesn't want to be alone. He won't play in his room unless someone else is there. The last time he tried, he suffered a panic attack (sweating and shortness of breath). He's very intelligent, does well in school, plays piano, drums, and soccer, and has many friends. He has never experienced any kind of trauma and my wife and I have a good relationship. What's going on?

What can we do to help our son develop a more positive outlook on life? He complains about everything and seldom seems happy. His negative attitude is affecting his school work, and I'm sure it's hurting his ability to make friends as well.

Should I teach my child about the importance of self-denial? We don't hear much about it in the modern church, and contemporary secular culture doesn't value it at all. But I'm not sure how our kids will understand what it means to follow Jesus if we neglect this aspect of the disciple's calling.

Can you offer any guidelines as to how much social media communication is appropriate for married persons when it involves individuals of the opposite sex? Are there any signs that might indicate when an online relationship is in danger of crossing the line of impropriety?

How can I parent my child most effectively when our family has been divided by divorce? I'm a single mother of a four-year-old son. He goes to stay with his father, who left me when I was pregnant with him, every other weekend. When he comes home, he cries for his dad. This really hurts me because I've raised him alone, and as a result I've had all the hard work (like discipline). I also have two other children by another man, so it's harder for me to give this child as much love and attention as my ex-husband does. To tell the truth, I think he spoils him. After these visits I end up crying and feel emotionally devastated for several days. I would appreciate your help with this.

As a Christian father, should I give my daughter away at the wedding if she's marrying a non-believer? Over the more than twenty years of our marriage we've worked hard to raise her in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Her decision has come as a great disappointment to us. We love our daughter, but for us this is a question of conscience and faithfulness to biblical principles. In light of what Scripture says about being "unequally yoked," should I, as her father, support this marriage by "giving her away" at the wedding?

How can I encourage my wife to be more thoughtful about money? Our family has really struggled recently. I was laid off from my job two years ago and have finally found full-time employment. My wife worked a couple of part-time jobs, but we still have a lot of bills to pay. And no matter what our income situation has been, she's always spent money we don't have. She'll buy herself and our kids top-of-the-line clothes, even if it means we won't be able to make ends meet. I've tried to discuss this with her many times, but it doesn't seem to matter.

What do you think about references to wizardry, sorcery, spells, and magic in storybooks, films, TV shows, and various other forms of entertainment? It seems our children are being bombarded with this, not only in Harry Potter, The Lord of the Rings, and The Hobbit, but even in relatively innocent Disney movies. To complicate matters, our church recently hosted an event featuring a "Christian illusionist." What's your opinion of this kind of thing?

What can my husband and I do to help our teenage girl become the woman God wants her to be?