Family Matters

What exactly is a "narcissist"? I've always assumed this is just a popular way of describing an extremely egotistical person, but lately I've heard the word used as if it were some sort of technical term – as if someone could actually be diagnosed with "narcissism." I have a personal reason for asking: My spouse is very self-centered, and his behavior has hurt our relationship in many ways over the years. Now I'm wondering if he might be dealing with a serious psychological problem. What do you think?

Now that our kids are gone, what can we do to revitalize our relationship? I thought our marriage was healthy and vibrant – that is, until the last of our three children left home. I realize now that it was the kids who brought life into the house, and that so much of our marriage was centered around them and their activities. Without them, my husband and I are lost. I have too much time on my hands. The two of us have nothing in common, and my husband is spending more time at work and with his buddies so that he doesn't have to deal with our issues. What should I do?

How is it possible for both men and women to be made in the Divine Image when the Bible speaks of God primarily in masculine terms? I'm wondering if all the talk I've been hearing about the biblical basis for equality between the sexes is just an attempt on the part of liberal theologians to "feminize" God.

What is the best way to communicate the Gospel message to the "millennial" generation? Our church has committed itself to reaching out to this group, but I'm concerned about what I perceive as a tendency to "broaden" the Gospel's appeal to twenty-somethings by watering it down and removing all references to sin, repentance, and judgment. To me this seems like a huge mistake. After all, Jonathan Edwards' sermon "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" touched off one of the greatest revivals we've ever seen. As I see it, the Church is supposed to be proclaiming the truth, not initiating a "dialogue" about it. Can you help me sort this out?

How can my husband and I make sure that we don't overindulge our cute little girl? She has a wonderful sweet personality and everyone in the family has been doting on her since she was born. But now that she's four years old, I'm wondering if she'll ever grow out of this "cute baby" phase. She loves being the center of attention and will "perform" on cue if given the opportunity. Is this normal, healthy behavior? Should we be concerned? What, if anything, should we be doing differently?

How should a teenager respond when his mom and dad seem to have the attitude that he's always trying to get away with something? I've had it with my parents! I'm not a bad kid, but they don't respect me at all. I can't do anything or go anywhere without being subjected to a major inquisition. How can I stand up for my rights and freedoms without running away from home?

How can we get the most out of our family dinner times? Our family recently committed to sharing mealtimes together at least three times a week. It was an adjustment in the beginning. There were a lot of rough spots, but I'm pleased to say that we're already seeing some positive results. At this point my major goal is to be intentional about making mealtimes meaningful. In particular, I want to find ways to make the very best use of the time we spend together. Do you have any suggestions for things we should be looking to accomplish as we gather at the table?

As a guy do you think it means I'm gay because I've always had a preference and appreciation for feminine and "girly" things? I've been this way since I was a small boy, I'm not sure what to make of this.

What are some things I can do to help develop a healthy self-image in my children? I don't want them to grow up thinking the world revolves around them, but I do want to instill in them a proper sense of self-respect and of their own value as persons. How should I go about it?

How do I handle conflicts with my ex-spouse over different parenting styles? Our divorce settlement stipulated that we would share responsibility for the children. The arrangement sounded fine on paper, but it's a disaster in practice. I'm a firm believer in structure and discipline. Unfortunately, that goes out the window every time the kids spend a weekend in the home of my ex-spouse, who cares nothing for rules or guidelines. What can I do about this?