Wheeeee! You’re in the car wash! You are a silver 1988 Toyota Cressida, and it’s your bath time. And when it’s bath time, your driver drives you to the car wash. Wheeeeee!

You’re bigger than a breadbox, but smaller than an elephant – what are you?

Your name is Totes Magotes, and today you are going for a horsey ride!

You’ve left too many heirloom tomatoes at your neighbor’s house, according to the note you found on your front stoop.

You’re covered in spiders and you don’t know what to do.

You’re the lawyer they call Mr. Cool. This is because you’re the coolest lawyer in the whole court, and you always win all of your cases. And guess what – everyone is counting on you to win the big case.

You spilled all the yogurt, dummy! Ah man, you spilled all the freakin’ yogurt you dumb dumb dummy. You must be the biggest dummy this side of the Mississippi River, you yogurt-spilling dumb dumb.

Your name is Bumbo and you and your buddy, Chumbo, are trying to break into the corporate office party deejaying business.

You are Punky Brewster from the television show Punky Brewster – but you have diarrhea!

Experience the thrill of jumping from an airplane in this first episode of Fantastic Tales in the Second Person.