During a Sunday service, the pastor was teaching about patience and waiting on God. He said, “Sometimes, God’s timing is perfect, even if it feels like we’re waiting forever.” From the back pew, an old man grumbled loudly, “Yeah, I’m still waiting on my wife to understand that ‘waiting’ part!” Historical/Cultural…

During his first sermon in Africa, a new missionary was thrilled when the whole congregation loudly said “Amen!” after everything he said. Excited by their enthusiasm, he preached passionately. Later, he learned that in the local dialect, “Amen” sounded like “What?” They weren’t agreeing—they were just…

One Sunday morning, a pastor woke up and decided he just needed a break. He called in sick, told the associate pastor to cover for him, and drove out to a distant golf course where no one would recognize him. Up in heaven, an angel saw what was happening and said to God, “Are you going to let him get…

A minister is baptizing people in the river. A drunk man stumbles by, and the pastor asks, “Do you want to find Jesus?” The man says, “Sure.” The pastor dunks him in the water and asks, “Did you find Jesus?” “Nope,” the man says. So he dunks him again. “Now?” “No.” He dunks him a third time, longer this…

A young missionary was practicing baptism techniques in preparation for an upcoming service. With no one around, he decided to use a plastic bottle for practice in a nearby river. A local villager walked by, saw him dunking the bottle repeatedly, and shouted, “Pastor! If you're baptizing today, could…

One Sunday morning, Pastor Bill decided the church needed a fresh, attention-grabbing sign to draw in new visitors. He came up with a bold one: "Try Jesus. If you don’t like Him, the devil will always take you back." He proudly put it up Monday morning. Later that week, an elderly lady walked in and…

A parishioner approached the minister after the Sunday service. “Preacher, I’ve been meaning to ask—why do we sing hymns so loudly?” The minister thought for a moment, then said, “Well, when you sing loudly, you’re filling the church with joy!” The parishioner nodded, then asked, “And if I’m off-key?”…

Biblical Text - Now after the Sabbath, as the first day of the week began to dawn, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary came to see the tomb. And behold, there was a great earthquake; for an angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door, and sat on it. His countenance…

Sunday School Teacher: “Okay, kids, what do we say when we do something wrong?” Little Brian (without blinking): “Blame Satan.” The teacher laughed, but Brian continued: “Because last time I said it was my fault, I lost tablet time. Now I just say, ‘Satan made me do it.’ Mom gets mad at Satan instead.”…