NOBODY MOVE!  If you do exactly what we say and listen to this brand new episode, no one needs to get hurt...  Nobody be a hero. Topics include a wet mistake that you could never learn from, missing the whole hole, artfully dropping your number, a pushy vagina, how to heist her heart, the face is not a chair, getting bro-zoned. 

All we're saying is that it seems like it's not a LOT of volume and we'd be curious to see how much we could fill a shot glass.  Topics include a hilarious wedding day prank, custom animated porn, feeling used in modern dating, medically qualifying how much is a lot.

Some people just can't handle the Neutron style.  Topics include calling off the benefits with a friends with benefits, pre-mature ejaculation and modern media, unsaved number suspicions, how to cast Zone of Friendship, location sharing and when to do it.

I'm sorry, babe.  I'm not trying to karate chop you in the ribs... it's this damn disease!  Topics include the sexual history with her dude friends, clumsy boyfriend or horrible person, too soon for "what are we", DIY frustrations, Burning Man sex plane and the mysteries of the future.

If anyone "needs" me, I'll be "going" to do some "groceries" because I'm feeling a little "hungry."  Topics include a toothbrush truth bust, how hard that head get, not allowed to break up, not getting enough sex, Netflix and chill... but like... bad, proving you're absolutely not fun.

Apologies for the late upload this week, y'all!  But we were at Fan Expo all weekend and our brains are fried, so here's the live show we did at Black Sheep at the beginning of the month.

You've got three months to find your own place, Greg.  Or else you're going to see your uncle do some things you never want to see your uncle do.  Topics include re-evaluating your standards, fear of gagging, incredibly bad post-natal impulse control, no love without phone call, embarrassed of your uncle's sex dungeon, the solution to online dating and the longest dating profile we've EVER read. 

If you're going to tell me a joke or have sex with me, I beg you... please be gentle.  My gut and my frenulum are prone to busting.  Topics include the inevitability of being cheated on, catching feelings is a no, bringing a plus one on a date, the masturbation danger, the fragility of the banjo string, roleplay 101, not ready for a relationship (with you).

Your dad ever get so noisy a nasty farmer just wants to chop off his hands?  Topics include pre-marital handholding, hot tub sex machine, literally no way to meet women, a check-in with an old friend, surprise striptease.

Sorry for the latest upload of our career, but I just got back from a bachelor party and I don't need to explain myself.  Topics include a hopeless romantic encounter, how to escalate into rough sex, the trouble being too hot, Jonah Hill's ridiculous demands, recovering from death grip.