March 23rd 2025

Yuriy describes how fear has evolved for the people in Ukraine, shifting from an abstract concept to a practical reality as they learned to live under the constant threat of shelling and missile strikes. Now, as uncertainty looms again, they find themselves gripped by a familiar yet paralyzing fear of the unknown, making it hard to find solace and hope in the chaos.

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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)  

It's 3rd of March. 

It's strange how quickly fear evolves before the full scale war began. When the Russians were amassing troops at our borders, and their TV was filled with promises to destroy Ukraine in a matter of days, fear was vague- people, myself included, we are afraid of an abstract war. It was terror of something unknown and not yet fully understood. 

After the invasion began, fear transformed almost immediately. People became afraid of shelling, missile strikes and sought shelter from loud noises. Over time, even that fear changed. People learned to distinguish what was exploding and how far it was just by sound to know whether they needed to hide.

Our children in kindergarten can identify artillery calibers by sound and understand whether the artillery can reach them. Fear didn't disappear; it simply adapted, became more practical- more, if I may say so, functional. 

But now the same fear of unknown, that existed before the full scale war is rising again. Once again, we are faced with uncertainty. We don't know what comes next for us, our fate, the fate of our children, is being decided behind our back without our participation. We are treated like goods with powerful players want to sell for their own profit, and if no buyer is found, simply discard us. Discard living people. People who did not start this war, who never brought weapons to foreign lands, who are only defending their own . 

This fear keeps us awake at night, clouds our judgment, and makes it impossible to live normally. We all try to distract ourselves in some way. I, for example, have started to write about the Middle East on Substack again, but it does not help much. Uncertainty is a terrify thing. It's no coincidence they say that waiting for death is worse than death itself, and we don't even know what we are waiting for- for death, betrayal being sold out to Putin, or if we're just being scared for some incomprehensible purpose. But regardless, it's terrifying. 

Of course, fear has been with us all these years. But we had hope, the free world showed at us that we are not alone, that it stood with us. But now the free world is lost in confusion. And that confusion could come at the high price, not just for us, but for everyone else too. 

It's so strange, when the full scale war began. My daughter was 16, in just a few days, she will turn 20. The Russians stole her best years. War stole them. And there is a danger that this is only the beginning, that it's not just three years of war, but the first three years of war.