Meet Shawn, an alum of the foster system who is also a kinship adoptive parent. Shawn identifies as Black and male. He lives with his fiancee and his nephew

"What it's like to be a foster child? The word I like to use is EXPENDABLE."

"That's when shit just started to hit me. I'm no longer part of my family right now. I'm state property."

Here's some of what we talked about:

• Moving from California to South Carolina to live with his aunt
• Entering the foster care system at age 12
• Living with his first foster parents and feeling like a lego piece that doesn't fit
• Living with his second foster parent, Rose, who is still his mother to this day
• Learning about unconditional love
• Sharing that unconditional love with his nephew who he adopted
• Wisdom and honesty for adoptive and foster parents

Annie's take-aways for adoptive parents:

• Patience with our kids is key. Our children's behavior comes from many complicated places. We need to stay steady.
• If we're asking whether we're doing enough, that's a good sign.

Katelyn's take-aways for adoptees:

• You are loved and you are inherently worthy of love.
• Shawn's relationship with Rose stuck out for me. Life with Rose meant belonging and acceptance, but due to past trauma, he still he rejected her as a teenager. There are layers of trauma to our experience as adoptees.

Resources we talked about:

The Primal Wound By Nancy Verrier

Shownotes at https://www.listeningtoadoptees.com/episodes/3