This week things go a little off the rails in the Feenyverse as Patrick and Britt wonder what in the heck the boy was supposed to learn about the world this time. Was it college shaming or just a warning about the dangers of risky playground jewelry trades? Meanwhile, Britt has to explain to Pat that George Washington was just a person, Pat has to explain the rules of professional sports drafting to Britt and someone has to explain to Alan that sending 63 telegrams to a public figure is illegal stalking. Topanga for President!

This week Patrick and Britt host a fun-packed episode that will surely trigger absolutely no one and is filled to the brim with easy-breezy topics such as underpaid teachers, racial slurs, anti-Semitism and a brief history of Italophobia. At least they get to talk about American sports hero Barry Bonds…oh wait. At least Topanga is back and is wearing a sari…oh wait. At least noted DILF Alan will educate his son about prejudice…oh wait. This is a tough one, Feenyheads, but important in the long and arduous process that is the enlightenment of Cory Matthews. #BoyMeetsWoke

This week Patrick and Britt discuss a rare Golden Girls-Felicity-Boy Meets World crossover episode starring Keri Russell’s early 90s curls (whose springy hotness calls into question the validity of Feeny’s so-called relations once again). They point out that this episode is full of insidious fishing imagery with innocent Morgan being utilized as girl bait and Keri’s distractingly bouncy curls being used as Eric bait, which leads them to the ultimate question: is Feeny a mere fisherman or is he actually a fisher of men? Other topics of discussion include Pat’s weird dream, favorite television grandmas and rom coms starring the elderly. Bernice and Feeny Forever!

This week Patrick and Britt detail Cory’s attempt to fight back against the tyranny of Feeny by convincing absolutely no one (not even two podcasters of questionable intelligence) that he is a genius. Geniuses, in fact, are the hot topic of the episode as both the adult and baby variety are discussed. This episode also includes a shout-out to Elizabeth Perkins and Geena Davis, a long and thorough deconstruction of the 1994 live action Flintstones movie and the light clinking of ice cubes in a glass as ambient back ground noise. Please send Halloween jokes to [email protected] because Pat’s go-to sucks.

This week Patrick and Britt were forced to sit (silently), watch (helplessly) and then discuss (sadly) how master manipulator George Feeny oh-so-skillfully brings Cory over to the dark side, forcing him to care about things like studying and knowledge and facts. Partial facts, anyway, as this episode of the podcast also serves as a highly important public service announcement: Do not rely on ABC shows from the 90s for accurate geographical information, Feenyheads! Also. don’t count on Alan and Amy Matthews to not be at every single Led Zeppelin concert for the rest of time. Other topics include the origin of the phrase spelling bee, African killer bees and how Britt could not BE any more into maps. Future Cartographers of America unite!

This week Patrick and Britt’s long wait is over when beautiful weirdo Topanga finally shows up. They discuss how her unconventional ways are a breath of fresh air next to “plain wrapped” normcore Cory. All except for one, of course: Patrick and Britt just can’t endorse nonconsensual handcuffed kissing (no means no, Topanga!). There’s also hair talk, sports talk and two females talking about something other than a man. This is where the mythology starts, people, and it’s all uphill from here (and maybe, according to Patrick, downhill for Topanga).

This week Patrick and Britt are forced to choose sides as noted DILF Alan Matthews and snooty teacher George Feeny go head to head in the battle for Cory’s soul. In the end, they decide that it’s okay for Alan to wake Cory up in the middle of the night for chip sandwiches. And that it’s also okay for Feeny to lure Cory out in the middle of the night for apple juice cocktails. It’s all very confusing. They also discuss gendered food, euphemistic “groundings” and the European sneaker war. Be on the lookout for their new “I Got Feened” t-shirts!

This week Patrick and Britt talk adventures in Philadelphia real estate (disclaimer: neither of them have ever been to Philadelphia). They debate Batman vs. Superman, paintbrush vs. airbrush and, as usual, Cory vs. Feeny. Minkus also makes his first appearance, and Pat drops the biggest bombshell so far: they were in the backyard the whole time!

In their very first episode, Patrick and Britt mostly discuss the mysterious relationship between elderly gentleman snarker George Feeny and his sports-obsessed young pupil Cory Matthews and wonder why curly-haired Cory does not seem to fit with the rest of his straighter-haired family (is a cover-up afoot?). They question whether Feeny’s sister actually exists, puzzle at why Feeny thinks salad is a good dinner option, discuss if sixth grade is too young for story that ends with suicide, ask where Topanga is and marvel at the many butt cuts on display. Long live the 90s!