Thanks for listening. I hope this monologue entertained you for a bit. Please, share your thoughts. Is there anything you agree or disagree with? Is there an angle this fellow bystander failed to mention?
And if you really enjoyed your time here, subscribe for future podcast monologues, the occasional written dialogue and full access to the archive for past publications. There’s plenty to explore through this imperfect, but charming writing format.
For those who prefer reading, here’s the monologue script:
Greenland and the United States
It’s hard to keep up with everything that happens in the White House and the range of reactions across the country. Trump always had the ability of leveraging the power of the cameras and microphones reporters shoved on his face. Instead of answering their questions, he mocked them and made outlandish claims that his team would later try to mitigate by basically throwing their hands in the air and saying: “Hey, I can’t control everything this dude says and tweets all the time, give me a break. I don’t know what he’s talking about, we’re figuring this thing out too, okay.” As his first term continued, and he fired those in his cabinet who opposed him, the less of a joke he became. Now that he’s on his second term, with a better understanding of the federal machine, and with a much more loyal team behind him, everything he says has a different weight. And one of the many things he said that caught my ear was the idea of America purchasing Greenland. Maybe I’ve been living under a rock, but that’s the first I’ve ever heard of something like that.
So, I was curious, how crazy is this idea of purchasing Greenland? And it actually may not be that crazy. The very short answer is: it depends on the Greenlanders. I was going to say the citizens of Greenland, but turns out the majority of the inhabitants over there prefer the word “Kalaallit”. I’m sure I just butchered the hell out of that word, but it basically translates to “Greenlanders”, so I’ll stick to that.
In theory, they’re citizens of Denmark, but Denmark granted Greenland the right to declare independence in 2009. Greenland was a Danish colony for 300 years, but “colonialism” is no longer popular, so they had to pivot. They agreed to give more power to the island’s government body, and here’s another word I can’t pronounce, but I’ll try anyway, that government body is called: “Naalakkersuisut”. And, yes, I looked this word up and practiced it beforehand, but I’m sure it was in vain. Anyway, this government body has a larger say about the internal affairs of the island, but Denmark also gives them what’s called a “block grant”. Or as we normal people call it: money. Every year Denmark sends a bunch of money that helps Greenland maintain a stable economy and social services. And it’s about 20% of the island’s GDP.
I imagine, conversations about independence are hard when considering you’ll have to operate without the 500 million dollars Denmark sends every year. Even then, support for independence has increased ever since 2009. A poll released on January 29 of this year, 2025, reported that 56% of Greenlanders would vote for independence if it were to be brought up in a referendum. That’s a very close issue.
The funny thing is, in the same poll, they asked them if they would like to join America after becoming an independent nation, and 85% of respondents said: “fuck no”. The population of Greenland is 88% Inuit and they’re very protective of the island’s vast resources. Greenland has 43 out of 50 minerals the U.S. Department of Energy has considered critical for national security, including the infamous rare-earths that are needed for the semiconductors that power every electronic devise we use. The only other place in the world with such a high amount of these rare materials is China. And, well, we’re not exactly in the best terms with them. They’ve actually threatened to limit their export of these minerals if Trump goes nuts with the tariffs.
In any case, the Greenlanders in general aren’t too happy to be seen as resources. It’s nothing new for a government to see their citizens and land as assets, but usually politicians try to mask it with nice words. Not Trump. He said, and I quote: “They should give it up, because we need it for national security.” That’s a statement few countries can make in the world. When you have a nuclear arsenal, military bases all around the world and your currency is the blood of the global financial system, I guess you can get away with saying shit like this. There’s no denying that the United States has ”fuck you” levels of influence. They say that to the UN all the time. The question is whether this power should be used this way and, if used, how far can you go with it. Our Allies can only tolerate so much. Already, Brazil, Russia, India, China, and South Africa have come together to form the BRICS group with the aim to replace the dollar as the dominant currency. Our Allies are keeping track and they won’t forget if the US pushes them to the edge. There’s a world in the future where they’ll throw us under the bus because of decisions made in the past.
I don’t see it happening, but in the off-chance, that Greenland’s government puts this issue up in a referendum, let’s hope the U.S. can respect their decision over their sovereignty. In January, Trump didn’t rule out the use of military or economic force to take over Greenland. That’s insane. Every country moves their pieces in the chess board to maintain a sphere of influence and protect their interests, this isn’t something we can only blame the U.S. for. But nothing good will come out of pulling a Putin on Greenland. They’re already 85% against the idea. That type of talk isn’t going to improve that percentage.
Alright, I’m done rambling. Stay safe and I’ll see you later.
Get full access to Fellow Bystander at fellowbystander.substack.com/subscribe
