I chat with the incomparable Mr. Chazz an educator and child development expert in this episode.  Our main theme is building above average relationships with our kids doing ordinary things every single day.  He has such great insights and optimism about discipline, parenting, how we learn to control ourselves as parents and expectations we put on our kids that aren't healthy.   If you want a parenting perspective shift, this episode is a great one for you! 

Mr. Chazz Leadership, Parenting and Teaching podcast

Mr. Chazz Instagram

We are celebrating our one year anniversary of podcasting!  On this episode we share some of the lessons listeners have learned and shared with us as well as lessons that Dave and I have learned over the last year.  It has been an amazing journey the last year and we are so grateful for the podcast and our community!  We share some of the exciting guests and topics we will be moving forward with in year 2 of the Fight like a Mother podcast.

Choosing when to give your kids a phone is such vital decision today.  We need to be deliberate and intentional with our choice.  Handing them an iPhone 12 for their first phone is like handing the keys to a Porsche and not expecting them to crash. Too much tech too fast can be detrimental to personal relationships, brain development and safety.   Troomi wireless is a new company that bridges the gap to give them a high quality, safe phone that can grow with them as they get older.   My guest Bill Brady is the founder and CEO of Troomi and we have a fantastic conversation about how to be deliberate about this important choice.

Connected, but alone? by Sherry Turkle

Troomi website (use code fightlikeamother for a discount)

When your child has big behaviors do you just want to stop the behaviors because of your own triggers, discomfort or embarrassment?  Sometimes our parenting goal is to just stop the behaviors, but what if there is a better way?  What if there is a way to regulate ourselves while we help regulate our kids?  What if there is a way to parent from a place of calm and compassion?  It doesn't mean there aren't boundaries, it means we set and enforce boundaries differently.  Instead of a knee jerk, angry response we work on being in a calm place.  We teach instead of yell, we dig deep to see what's driving the behavior instead of doling out harsh punishments.  It means we really see our child for who they are and what they might be struggling with instead of only seeing the challenging behaviors.  It isn't lazy parenting or letting kids get away with behaviors.  It is focusing on the relationship first, it is teaching and validating and seeing beyond behaviors to see the child. 

Lauren Pace who has a masters degree in child development shares her expertise in this area.  She regularly teaches parents, teachers and other professionals how to approach  and teach kids with big behaviors.  When we see the person first before the behavior it can change everything. 

If you are interested in learning more about this type of parenting you can start with the course Lauren and her business partners Wendy and Ty have created.  If you use the code Cheryl30, you get $30 off the course (which is already very reasonably priced.)

Parenting with emotional intelligence course

Lauren's website

https://xolaurenpace.com/about

Is it possible to live in gratitude even in the midst of really trying circumstances?

Is it possible to see our kids goodness even when they push the boundaries and struggle so much?

David and Cheryl Cardall chat about the blessings that have come into their lives and the growth they have seen as they have raised kids with some extras.   It is possible to be grateful even in the midst of big challenges.

This months sponsor is troomi.com. go check them out for a safe and exciting alternative for your kids first phone.

Kathy Moffat who is a mom who has raised a son with mental illness shares her story of how it affected her.  She also is a relationship coach and gives some amazing advice on how to navigate the storms of marriage and how to become stronger and more united.  

Alisha Worthington LCSW with a speciality in Human Sexuality talks very openly about how teaching healthy sexuality without shame is quite possibly our best tool for pornography prevention.  Sexuality is an inherent part of being a human being and having open communication about it is key to healthy relationships and healthy interactions with online sexual images.  Did you ever think that teaching your kids about their emotions is pornography prevention?  Did you ever think that building a relationship and connection is pornography prevention?  This episode will change your thoughts about what we need to do to give our kids a healthy sexual mindset.  If all we worry about is monitoring screen time, checking kids social media and obsessing about their browser history we have missed the boat on what could become a powerful way to connect with our children in a meaningful way.

For Goodness Sex book

The naked people in my iPod

Sexual values circle

How can we best support and love our LGBTQ teenagers?  The suicide rate of LGBTQ teens is high, their mental health is at stake. 45% of them have seriously considered suicide. More than half of transgender and non-binary youth have seriously considered suicide . Of those who have just one affirming adult, the suicide attempt rate is cut by 10%.  Are we going to be that one loving and affirming adult to help save lives?

 I interview Charlie Bird who is a gay man and we discuss how he would have loved to be supported as a teen.  Allowing our youth to be who they are and supporting them through that process is the kindest, most loving thing we can do.  We discuss how in a faith/religious community we can really support and love these brothers and sisters of ours.  Statistics show if they have one affirming adult in their life, their suicide attempt rate goes down by up to 30%.

Getting to know members of the LGBTQ community will allow us to build relationships and our fear of the unknown and misconceptions fade away.  This podcast will help you learn to be an ally and support.

Parents Rising registration

Charlie/Cosmo dances!

Without the Mask by Charlie Bird

Questions from the closet podcast

What happens when your expectations about life collide with reality and you are stuck in the waves of grief?  In this episode I share tools I have learned to shift my perspective and tune into empathy and see the gifts gained instead of all the things lost.  Perhaps this is just how it is supposed to be? 

Benee Larsen with NAMI (National Alliance of Mental Illness) Utah chapter shares with us the incredible free resources that the national organization provides.  She shares what the Utah chapter provides, but stresses that every state in the U.S. has a chapter that provides similar resources. There are free support groups for families, there are peer support groups for teens, there is a phone number to call for immediate support and help, there is a mobile crisis stabilization team families can call when in crisis that can come to your home when needed.  We talk about suicide prevention and the Live on campaign in Utah and how we can open up conversations with our kids about suicide prevention and how we can help our own kids support their friends who may be in crisis.  There are far more resources with NAMI than I even knew about.  I encourage you to look into your local chapter to get more support and help with mental illness/suicide prevention and support for your family.

National Suicide prevention hotline 800-273-8255 or text 741741

Links to resources are below:

National NAMI website

Nami UT support programs

Stabilization and mobile crisis response

Live on Utah suicide prevention program