“We put ourselves in glossy brochures looking the perfect picture of what we want the public to believe we are. It wasn't until it all exploded that I really realised what was going on in my head.”

– Senior politician Jami-Lee Ross’s breakdown in late 2018 was played out in the glare of constant media attention. He walks us through his year from hell.

* Content warning: Strong language; discussion of suicide.

* If you want to talk to a trained counsellor, call or text for free to 1737.

* www.stuff.co.nz/outofmymind

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