Fighting For Joy

This summer I'm going to try something new by re-releasing a few of my older Fighting for Joy Podcast episodes. While I'm taking a break from creating new content I wanted to pull out a few conversations that may have gotten buried in your feed in hopes that they will provide you with fresh encouragement. Our podcast community has also grown quite a bit over the years so if you're a new listener, these may be episodes you haven't had a chance to listen to yet.

The first one I will be highlighting is "Episode 1 - Our Story", originally released on November 19, 2018. Here's what I wrote then:

Today my husband, Eric Blick, joins me on the podcast as we share a little bit about why this fight for joy is personal for us. As I mentioned in the preview episode, this podcast will be full of stories, and I thought it was appropriate to “go first” with our story. Eric and I met at Wheaton College and have been married for 24 years. We have four children and live in Nebraska. Our firstborn son, Jackson, died at the age of 16 in 2013.

Our goal in this first episode is not to fully or perfectly tell our story. In fact, there are a few details that we almost edited out because we remembered them differently. But, that is part of trauma...and part of going through grief together, but separately. So we didn't make any edits. With this podcast, I've decided that "done is better than perfect". Grief is messy...and this podcast will be messy at times as well.

I'm thankful that Eric agreed to be my first guest. He has believed in this project from the start and I seriously couldn't have gotten it started without him. So I'm excited for you to get to know him a little bit as we share our hearts and help you better understand the “why” behind this podcast.

Little did I know when I started this podcast that one of the most commented on topics would be perfectionism. If you haven’t had a chance to listen to the episodes I’ve done on this topic you’ll have to check out Episode #35 (with my cousin Sara) and Episodes #57 and #58 (with my husband Eric). Each time we have talked about perfectionism I’ve gotten so much feedback about how helpful these conversations are, so these last few months I’ve been thinking about doing a follow up and decided that recording a listener Q & A episode with Eric might be the best path. I asked my Fighting for Joy community (via Instagram) for some questions to have him address. Once again I’m grateful for his vulnerability and willingness to share about his fight for joy in this area of his life. I hope you find this conversation helpful!

Also, this episode will wrap up Season 5 for me. What an amazing season it has been! Although I’m hoping to re-release a couple of episodes throughout the summer, I’ll be taking the next few months off and will be back this fall with new episodes for Season 6!!

Today I get to introduce you to a new friend of mine. She’s a grief sister, which is a phrase I sometimes use for other women who have also experienced a painful loss. Very often there is a quick connection that happens when I meet other people who are walking a similar path - and this held true with my guest today, Angie Hanson. A few weeks ago we met for coffee and as we began to share our stories with each other I knew immediately that we would be friends.

Angie has a very hard story. Not only did she also lose a son, but within the next two years, her husband and her brother also died. Three huge losses in just a couple of years. I appreciate Angie's ability to keep leaning into her continued grief AND fight for joy AND work to encourage and help others in their own difficulties and struggles.

Angie is my first podcast guest who has walked through the death of her husband so I’m thankful for her willingness to share about widowhood and remarriage and how she has learned to embrace the "both/and" of grief - sorrow coexisting with joy! We cover a lot in this conversation and Angie has so many good insights to share, so I’m glad you found this episode and hope you are encouraged as you hear from someone 17 years into the grief journey.

She talks about this towards the end of our chat but after you listen today I hope you will check out her blog. She’s a wonderful writer and covers so many different topics related to grief. She also has a grief-specific greeting card line that has really helped her to find some purpose in her pain by helping others walk with friends in grief. You can find out more about Angie's blog and grief cards at https://butterfliesandhalos.com. She is also on Facebook and Instagram @butterfliesandhalos.

**Today's episode is brought to you by Faithful Counseling, an amazing online Christian counseling service. I'm excited to offer my listeners 10% off at: faithfulcounseling.com/fightingforjoy. Quality counseling is a worthy investment and can be such a powerful tool in the fight for joy!

Yep, you read that right! Today I'm releasing an episode on menopause. And, even better, I convinced my hubby to have this conversation with me!

I wanted to address this topic because it's been an area in my life recently that HAS affected my joy, more than I thought it would - and I know the same is true for so many of you because it's become a frequent topic of conversation within all of my friend groups. I'm also seeing it talked about more on social media and heard someone recently say, "Menopause is having a moment!" I'm happy to jump on the bandwagon because it truly is a topic that needs to be talked about more.

I remember watching things kind of fall apart for my mom when she hit menopause. She didn't talk about it though so her journey and subsequent struggles left me with a lot of questions and fears - and I began to dread hitting this stage of life. Instead, I wish I would've just started gathering information myself and forming some habits that might've made the transition a little easier for me. The good news is though, I've found that it's not too late. These last couple of years I've been reading a ton, listening to experienced and knowledgable voices, watching women a few steps ahead of me, scheduling appointments with medical professionals, and trying all kinds of wholistic things to address and alleviate my symptoms.

Menopause can look different for each of us, but I'm hoping that by sharing a little bit of my journey, you'll hear a few things that might be helpful in your own fight for joy through perimenopause and menopause. And, if you’re not in this season yet - I hope you still listen because I WISH I would’ve had a podcast like this when I was younger.

P.S. Men, I think you'll find this episode pretty informative too! :)

The question I’ve been hearing a lot this week has been, “What are you doing for Mother’s Day?” For many of us, in fact probably most of us, Mother’s Day is a “both/and” day that holds a wide range of emotions. Celebration AND tears. Joy AND sadness.

It’s definitely become another conflicting day for me in grief. My son Jackson, the one who made me a mom 26 years ago, has been in heaven now for almost 10 years - so this is my 9th Mother’s Day without him. AND/ALSO, I have 3 amazing kids and a wonderful son-in-law who ARE still here and who want to celebrate.

This will also be my 3rd Mother’s Day without my own mom. So yes, on Mother’s Day, I grieve Jackson, and my mom, and can feel pretty tender…AND, at the same time, my heart is so happy that I still have Justine, Will, Turner, and Grace here and rejoice in the privilege of being their mom. Both/and.

On this episode I want to share 5 practical ways to approach the “both/and” of Mother’s Day. These are tools that I personally implement and I can give testimony that they'll help you fight for joy (and hopefully find it!) this weekend.

Today I’m really grateful for the willingness of my local friend Jen Poulas to come on the show and talk through some of the difficult things that she has had to walk through in life, specifically fighting, and thankfully beating cancer…not just once, but twice! Almost everyone has been affected by cancer one way or another. The treatments, the isolation, the fear, and the physical changes that often accompany a cancer diagnosis can rob even the happiest person of joy. Listen in as Jen shares about her fight for joy - about facing the news of a cancer diagnosis (twice!), about some of the ways that cancer can change you and affect your whole family, some helpful (and not helpful) things you can do to support someone with cancer, and the importance of clinging to faith and hope every step of the way.

**This episode is sponsored by Faithful Counseling. Have you checked them out yet? I can’t say it enough - quality Christian counseling is SUCH a worthy investment and SUCH a powerful tool in the fight for joy in this broken world. I’d love for you to use my 10% code at www.faithfulcounseling.com/fightingforjoy Click on that link to find out more about this online service and begin the process of getting help today!

I think we all have people in our life who inspire us, challenge us, and teach us - people who bring so much good stuff to the table when you get together that you can’t help but be all ears and just want to soak it all in. Becky Novacek is one of those people in my life. Every time we are able to connect, I learn. I leave feeling inspired and encouraged.

You might recognize Becky because she's been on the podcast before (Episode #22 - Fighting for Joy with a Healthy Mindset). I wanted to have her back on now because over the course of the past year she and I have had so many rich conversations about ALL kinds of things and I wanted to share pieces of that with all of you. Today I asked her to share a "Top 5" list of ways that she is fighting for joy in this season of her life. I think you’ll love her wise perspective about things like identity, loving well, and seeking beauty. Becky is so tender to the things of the Lord and I know you'll be blessed by the way she ties everything back to her faith and her relationship with God.

My last episode was with Brooke Kyes, a young mom in her 20s, and today its a woman thriving in her 60s. Its such a privilege to bring you a wide range of perspectives. Each season of life brings its blessings and challenges and its so helpful to hear stories of how to fight for joy through it all! So today, soak in the words of my dear friend Becky. As always, if you find some encouragement in this episode, I would LOVE to hear from you. And, I always appreciate when you share the podcast with others. Its one of the best ways you can support my work and ministry. Thanks for listening!

**Today's episode is brought to you by Faithful Counseling, an amazing online Christian counseling service. I'm excited to offer my listeners 10% off at: faithfulcounseling.com/fightingforjoy. Quality counseling is a worthy investment and can be such a powerful tool in the fight for joy!

Today’s episode is with Brooke Kyes, a local teacher and a new mom who said YES to coming on the podcast to have a vulnerable but very important conversation about her postpartum experience. I’ve known Brooke for many years because she and her husband Nathan were longtime, and very good friends of our son Jackson, who passed away almost 10 years ago in June of 2013. They did all kinds of things together growing up and when we went to watch Jackson compete or perform in sports, choir, or band, Brooke and Nathan were usually involved in it too - and our families have been intertwined for many years. It’s been special to watch Jackson’s friends fight for joy like Nathan and Brooke have this past year. I’m excited to share a little bit of their story today through my conversation with Brooke.

You’ll hear early on in our conversation that I assumed we were going to be talking mostly about postpartum depression, but, although anxiety and depression CAN be linked in some ways, Brooke’s struggle since welcoming their sweet boy Oakley into the world has been with postpartum anxiety. I learned a lot by listening to her share and realized there are nuances to what women can experience in postpartum. Motherhood is such a steep learning curve and it's no surprise that becoming a new mom would lend itself to either, or both, depression and anxiety! But for Brooke, her natural wiring and history of anxiety led to panic attacks and a darker time of wondering if she could do this "motherhood thing" right and if she would ever be “herself” again. I’m thankful for her openness and I could tell as soon as we got started chatting that this would be an important conversation to get out to all of you.

Also, I was planning on releasing this episode in another month or so, but with all of the feedback we are continuing to get from the two perfectionism episodes that Eric and I did a few weeks back, I thought that it would be good to release this one next as there CAN oftentimes be a link between perfectionism and anxiety. I also love that this will follow my episode with Liz Gnagy, another young mom fighting for joy! Similar to that episode, I think ALL of you will find some takeaways in this episode, no matter what season of life you are in. Anxiety affects people of all ages and in all seasons of life. And, the important themes that Brooke and I discuss at the end of our time together are applicable to ALL difficulties in life and are great tools in the fight for joy that I want to keep hitting on in each episode. So I’m glad you are tuning in and would love to hear your thoughts after you listen.

Liz Gnagy and I met when she was a college student and I was a young mom with a house full of little ones - I think our kids were 8, 7, 5, & 4, or something like that. Now, I'm an empty nester and SHE is the busy, young mom! I've loved staying connected with her over the years and admire the ways that she has grown in her faith and keeps fighting for joy. I know she will bring a perspective that many of you can relate to. With 5 little kids, Liz brings a lot to the table in regards to what can tend to steal joy and how to fight for joy in a full, active home like theirs. I appreciated all of the practical things that she shared and I’m sure you’ll have some takeaways. I'm so grateful that God brought Liz into my life all those years ago - and I'm excited to introduce her to you today!

Today I’m excited to bring you Part 2 of my husband Eric sharing about the progress that he has made and continues to make against perfectionism. I wanted to release these episodes at the beginning of the new year as I think its a great time to evaluate some things in our lives. What’s been working? What hasn’t? What needs to change? Yes, I’m one of those people who gets excited about the intentionality that a new year can bring. But even if you aren’t, fighting against perfectionism and finding joy on the other side of its weight is a worthwhile pursuit at ANY point in the course of a year. But personally I think the start of 2023 is the perfect time [See what I did there? :) "Perfect"!] to think about and consider if there are some changes that need to be made. To start your journey from perfectionism to achievement and experience the blessings that are usually quick to follow: peace, freedom, contentment, feeling more excited about life, feeling less critical of yourself and others, and yes, of course more joy, just to name a few.

If you haven’t listened to Part 1, I encourage you to do so as Eric sets the groundwork there for what he talks about today as he shares the rest of his list of things that have helped him. I'm so proud of the work that he has done in this area and I love the changes I’ve seen in him. His life gives testimony that fighting perfectionism doesn’t bring along with it subpar work, or less success. As a result of the progress he has made, he has achieved MORE - and continues to achieve more. He’s not getting sick, discouraged, or burned out like used to. Instead, he’s actually able to do MORE. Achieve more. Perform better. And, the best part is, it's all with more JOY!

**Today’s episode is brought to you by my unpaid sponsor, Access Period. Access Period is a nonprofit organization in Omaha that provides free menstrual products. Period Poverty, or the lack of access to menstrual products, affects 1 in 4 women. If you're interested in learning more about Access Period, getting involved with fighting period poverty in your own community, or if you are someone who needs menstrual products, please visit www.accessperiod.com, or find them on Instagram @accessperiod. I’m thankful for their willingness to partner with me and love the work they are doing.