Find Hope. Live Well.

Caring for your children is stressful on its own, but what about when caring for your family also includes your aging parents? Almost half of adults in their 40s have children and a parent aged 65 or older. 1 in 7 of these provides financial support for both their children and their parents. If you find yourself in this increasingly common situation, these are some steps you can take to lessen your load.

We know how difficult it can be to seek help with mental health issues. It’s our mission to help all people live their lives well, and we’re here to meet you where you are in a supportive, encouraging way. Deciding to seek therapy is a big decision that can be a little intimidating, but it gets a bit easier if you know how to find the right therapist.

In this episode, Grant will discuss some of the signs you can look for to decide if your therapist is the right fit for you.

- You're driving on a two-lane road when you suddenly think about veering into oncoming traffic.

- You're waiting for a train and you imagine jumping in front of it.

- You're holding a child you love when you suddenly picture doing something terrible.

What IS that? And what is wrong with you?

Those are intrusive thoughts, and nothing is wrong with you. These thoughts are completely normal, but they can also be terrifying. On this episode of Find Hope, Live Well, Grant Stenzel is going to discuss ways to overcome intrusive thoughts. 

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), more than one third of Americans don’t get enough sleep on a regular basis. Our bodies require appropriate rest in order to function at our highest capacity. But technology, stress and poor habits work against us. Many times we can’t sleep because our minds are busy processing the events of the day. That’s why it is important to purposefully create and maintain healthy sleep patterns.

On this episode of Find Hope, Life Well, Grant Stenzel is going to discuss how to purposefully create and maintain healthy sleep habits in order to function at your highest capacity.

This world is filled with stressors and triggers, and one of the most universal stems from money, money related stress. Now, there are practically infinite resources out there with concrete tips for money management. Dave Ramsey has very popular and effective advice, as do financial advisors and other professionals that can help you make a plan and stick to it.

In this episode of Find Hope, Life Well, Grant Stenzel will discuss the negative impact that money related stress has on our lives and our relationships. Grant will also offer tips on how to pinpoint ways to alleviate financial stress.

For most of us, social media is a must-have. Invites for a majority of events are handled on social media; your newsfeed showcases the milestones of all your friends, acquaintances, and everyone you met a party one time four years ago. Social media can be great in the way that it allows us to stay connected with people we probably would have lost contact with otherwise. It’s also nice to be able to keep up with our loved one’s lives, even when we don’t have the time to personally reach out to them.

In this episode, Grant Stenzel, MS Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, explores the impact that expectations have on our relationships, and talks about ways to not only manage these expectations, but how to reduce conflict and show our loved ones that we care.

Are you having a hard time coping with the responsibilities of being a parent?

Do you find yourself sometimes overwhelmed by the stress brought on by your children, their schedules and their behavior?

You're not alone.

In this episode, Grant Stenzel discusses how to mange your stress during difficult times, and the importance of consistency in parenting. Taking an active interest in your child's life not only helps their emotional growth, but it just might become one of the most satisfying parts of your life as well.

When you first learn that someone you love has been abused in some way, primal emotional responses often flare up. You might crave justice, feel nearly uncontrollable anger or have a desire for vengeance. Fight those feelings. In this moment, you have one role: Support them. Let them tell their story. As they do, listen intently, validate what happened to them and sympathize with what they’re going through.

If they’re safe:

Thank them for trusting you enough to tell you, and thank them for being brave by revealing this painful reality to you. Nothing needs to be solved in this moment. It’s okay to be still and just sit with them.

The conversation might be uncomfortable, and you’ll probably still feel angry. That’s a perfectly natural reaction to news like this. While it’s best to try not to show that anger in the moment, we urge you not to completely suppress it. In fact, you can consider counseling for yourself if you need help reconciling those emotions.

In your interactions over the next few hours or days, make an effort to return them to normalcy. Don’t treat them like a victim or like they’re broken; instead, do what you’ve always done. In these moments, it can also be wise to float the idea of counseling. For abuse recovery, there’s no set timeline. Professional help is simply recommended for as long as it’s needed.

If the abuse is ongoing:

Often, these are domestic violence situations. They’re heartbreaking and dangerous, and knowing what to do about it isn’t easy if you aren’t ready. First and foremost, listen and be supportive. womenshealth.gov has some excellent additional tips, which we encourage you to read in their entirety. Here are a few of the standouts:

Use “I feel” and not “You need.” Say “I feel scared thinking about what might happen to you” instead of “You need to leave.”

Be specific about the help you can give. Maybe you can offer child care, provide transportation or even take a couple days off of work to help make a plan.

Encourage them to talk to helpers. Offer to go with them to see law enforcement, or encourage them to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE, the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE or the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline at 866-331-9474. All are available 24/7.

Help them craft a safety plan. This can include packing a “gotta go” bag and establishing a safe word they can give to you to tell you they’re in danger without their abuser knowing.

Visit the Stenzel Clinical blog for more: https://stenzelclinical.com/news/

There are many reasons children remain at home past college years. Perhaps they’ve experienced trauma, financial difficulties, the job market hasn’t been kind to them or a relationship fell through. Maybe your child did launch, but then some kind of bad luck befell them, and they had to come home. Or maybe they made some bad decisions.

In this episode, Grant Stenzel provides parents with a step-by-step plan on preparing their children for the future.

For more resources on parenting visit https://stenzelclinical.com/category/parenting/