Find Your Strong Podcast

Send us Fan Mail

“You're not lazy because you're resting, and you're not greedy because you have a second portion, you're just a bit hungrier.”

So Ela's lovely daughter Milly came up with our topic for today, which is a cracking one.

We discuss the following:

• Has food and eating become performative?
• Does diet culture dominate our food choices at work/ school/ with friends?
• Our food choices are often tied to our identity. Being 'the healthy one', 'the good one' or 'not a lunch person'. Sound familiar? 
• Women's appetites are still judged through a gendered lens. We talk about how difficult it is to reconcile ourselves with the fact that we may have a larger appetite than our partner or friends.
•  Social media comparisons aren't helpful, even when the content looks positive. 'What I eat in a day' videos from 'body positive influencers' can offer an alternative to extreme restriction, but another person's meals still aren't a template for our own needs. Comparing ourselves with other people can simply create a new set of rules.
• Food is about pleasure, satisfaction and connection, too. Food provides energy and fuel for our day's activities, but it's also about enjoyment, cravings and spending time with people we love. 
• Our bodies don't need the same amount of food every day. Eating more one day and less another is normal and is part of finding peace with food and our bodies.
• We can challenge the rules without blaming ourselves.
•  We can model a different way of relating to food but we don't have to get everything right or have our shit together to make a difference to our kids experience.

Resources:

Intuitive Eating website - Click here to find out more from the OGs of Intuitive Eating - Elyse Resch and Evelyn Tribole

https://www.iamstefaniemichele.com/ - We referred to Stefanie Michele in the pod. Stefanie has been a guest on the pod before and is a co-host on the LIFE AFTER DIETS podcast as well as hosting her own: Full But Not Finished

Support the show

Please reach out if you would like some support with your relationship to food OR movement. Ela currently has limited spaces for Intuitive Eating/nutrition coaching and if you'd like to build strength or feel more comfortable in your skin, contact Christine.  If you'd like exclusive access to our supporter-only channel click here.

We appreciate you! 

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode we talk about body confidence in midlife. As bodies, skin, hair and energy levels change, old and new negative body image thoughts can emerge, and the pull of the anti-aging and diet culture narrative adds pressure. 

So what you can do in the moment when body image distress flares up? We share some personal examples, and some tools we have learned and practiced ourselves and with our clients.

Some takeaways:

1. Midlife can be a choice point. You have agency!
2. Beware the “shoulds”. Movement is valuable, but fear-based messaging about osteoporosis and longevity can take away joy and agency. 
3. How you feel colours how you see yourself. Your mood, the lighting and the mirror all affect what you see. When body thoughts flare up, ask “what else is going on?” because it may not be about your body at all.
4. Don’t try to fix it in the moment. Googling, photographing, body-checking and buying products feed the cycle. Nothing is urgent, and the sense of urgency is itself a signal to pause.
5. Build your tolerance for discomfort. Sitting with the urge to check or fix, and learning that nothing bad happens, widens your window of tolerance. 

Some tools we discussed for in-the-moment support:

• Moving your body to get embodied and gain distance from the thoughts
• Walking, running, or getting fresh air
• Progressive muscle relaxation (tensing and releasing each body part)
• Pushing against a wall or doorway, or punching a pillow
• Long, slow breathing (long inhale, longer exhale), when you’re calm enough for it
• Changing into something comfortable, fun or loose
• Wearing clothes that fit your body now, including secondhand or cheaper options, and refreshing your wardrobe as your body changes
• Looking in the mirror once, then not going back

We hope you find this episode helpful! Please leave a review, share and like it - it helps other people find us and our podcast!

We appreciate you

Ela & Christine x

Support the show

Please reach out if you would like some support with your relationship to food OR movement. Ela currently has limited spaces for Intuitive Eating/nutrition coaching and if you'd like to build strength or feel more comfortable in your skin, contact Christine.  If you'd like exclusive access to our supporter-only channel click here.

We appreciate you! 

Send us Fan Mail

We're BACK!

It has been a hot second since we last recorded an episode together and of course we're starting with an emotionally charged subject, just to get you thinking.

In this episode, we spoke about the messages kids absorb from our own relationship with food and our bodies.

How do we feel if our child or a friend's child gains weight?  Is it ever ok to talk about a child's weight, even if it from a place of concern?

Key Takeaways from this episode: 

• Children hear far more than we think they do. They absorb a great deal from how we perceive our own bodies as well as our relationship to food and movement.
• A child's growing body isn't a problem to solve. Growth, including changes in weight and body shape, is a normal part of childhood and puberty.
• Our own fears/ fatphobia can affect how we see our children. Sometimes our fears are more connected to our experiences of diet culture, weight stigma or our own body image 
• Curiosity is more useful than judgement. Instead of immediately thinking “They're eating too much,” can we get curious about what is going on for the child. 
• Eating for comfort can serve a purpose. Food can provide pleasure and comfort and the concern is when it becomes someone's only coping strategy.
• Parents aren't to blame. Parents are more often than not doing their damndest with the resources they have.  However, when you know better, you can do better.
• You don't have to have your own relationship with food sorted.  This is an important one. Working on it can also send a very valuable message to our children
• How can we help our kids realise that a changing body is not code for, "there's something wrong."
• Connection with the body matters. Movement can be an opportunity for children to experience being IN their bodies rather than just focussing on how they look
• And perhaps the biggest takeaway: the aim isn't to raise children who never think about their bodies. It's to help them develop a relationship with themselves, their bodies and food that isn't built around shame.

RESOURCES:

Fat Talk - Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture. Virginia Sole Smith

Adultish, The Body Image Body for Life. Dr Charlotte Markey

Embrace Your Features. Christina Testut

Intuitive Eating for Teens. Elyse Resch 

Support the show

Please reach out if you would like some support with your relationship to food OR movement. Ela currently has limited spaces for Intuitive Eating/nutrition coaching and if you'd like to build strength or feel more comfortable in your skin, contact Christine.  If you'd like exclusive access to our supporter-only channel click here.

We appreciate you! 

Send us Fan Mail

This week,I'm flying solo and I'm so excited to be chatting with the inspirational Christina Testut. 

Christina is a fierce body image advocate as well as a published author and Kindergarten teacher, and is passionate about developing confidence and building a strong self esteem within her students. 

As she says: "Changing the narrative around body image for our youngest generation and generations to come, has become my purpose."

Christina talks honestly about going from being a Weight Watchers Cover Star, where she realised she was very "good" at losing weight, to the realisation that her behaviours had become disordered and that she desperately needed to make a change. 

We talk about eating disorder recovery, body changes, the comments people make, and just how incredibly difficult it can be to recover when the world around you is still telling you that smaller is better.

We also chatted about parenting, the messages we inevitably pass on to our kids,  and Christina’s wonderful children’s book Embrace Your Features — which invites us to reframe our 'flaws' as 'features'.

It’s a really honest conversation about unlearning a lot of the things we’ve been taught about bodies, giving ourselves a LOT of grace, and remembering that there’s so much more to us than what we look like.

Resources:

• Embrace Your Features by Christina Testut
• Food Isn't Medicine by Dr Joshua Wolrich
• The Body Is Not An Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor
• Unapologetic Aging by Deb Benfield
• You Are Not a Before Picture by Alex Light
• More Than A Body:Your Body Is An Instrument, Not An Ornament by @Lexie Kite and Lindsay Kite
• Fat Talk: Parenting In The Age of Diet Culture by Virginia Sole-Smith

Support the show

Please reach out if you would like some support with your relationship to food OR movement. Ela currently has limited spaces for Intuitive Eating/nutrition coaching and if you'd like to build strength or feel more comfortable in your skin, contact Christine.  If you'd like exclusive access to our supporter-only channel click here.

We appreciate you! 

Send us Fan Mail

Bex Spiller is the founder of The Anti-Burnout Club and creator of the Right to Recover campaign — joins Ela to talk burnout, workplace culture, and why recovery should be a right, not a luxury.

We covered Bex's Burnout Story

Bex built a marketing agency from her bedroom at 21, then hit a wall physically and mentally while studying for an MBA in addition to long working hours. A GP eventually named what she'd been feeling: burnout — a word she'd never heard before. That crisis, plus losing her father to stress-related heart disease, led her to start a small blog in 2020 that grew into The Anti-Burnout Club, now used by tens of thousands.

We discussed where "Push Yourself" Beliefs Come From

Bex traces her own drive back to childhood — poverty, losing her mum young, and feeling she had to prove herself. We discussed how hustle culture, school attendance awards, and even old Protestant beliefs about idleness being sinful have taught us that rest equals laziness — when most "laziness" is really overwhelm or unaddressed struggle.

We explained why Individual Wellness Fixes Aren't Enough

Yoga and meditation apps, whilst certainly great resources, put the burden of recovery on the individual and ignore root causes (e.g. understaffing and poor management in organisations, overcommitment and complex life circumstance in private lives). Bex now focuses on organisations — training managers to have honest conversations about stress, rather than offering wellness perks as a substitute for real change.

Bex explained the Right to Recover Campaign

Employees take 9–11 official sick days a year on average, but "presenteeism" (working while unwell) costs roughly 44 lost productive days per person annually! Bex argues that giving people genuine time to recover is both more humane and better for business — and discusses how mistrust and guilt make it harder for people to ask for rest.

We talked about the physical toll of burnout

Chronic stress has real physiological effects — weakened immunity, stress-related heart disease, allostatic load. Bex reflects on a funeral where a woman's career barely came up compared to how she lived and loved. The takeaway: systemic change is needed, but individuals can start by knowing their own capacity, having honest conversations, and treating recovery as normal, not a failure.

About Bex Spiller

Bex Spiller is an award-winning burnout speaker, author and changemaker. She’s the founder of The Anti-Burnout Club and heads up the Right to Recover campaign, which aims to reduce the number of people working when unwell. 

Connect with Bex: The Anti Burnout Club (free app available) 

https://bexspeaks.com/

Support the show

Please reach out if you would like some support with your relationship to food OR movement. Ela currently has limited spaces for Intuitive Eating/nutrition coaching and if you'd like to build strength or feel more comfortable in your skin, contact Christine.  If you'd like exclusive access to our supporter-only channel click here.

We appreciate you! 

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode, we explore a simple but powerful idea: when we resist uncomfortable feelings, they tend to grow stronger, not weaker.

This pattern shows up everywhere: for example anxiety on a plane, dental fear, body image, ageing, and cravings.

Key threads we unpack:

• Resistance breeds shame. When we don't admit we're struggling — because we feel we shouldn't be — that gap between who we are and who we think we should be becomes a breeding ground for shame.
• Naming a fear diffuses it. How advocating for ourselves and how being seen rather than being dismissed or "fixed" can make all the difference.
• Eating disorder recovery parallels. How treating a difficult part of yourself as an enemy that needs defeating can backfire — versus understanding it as a protective part trying to help.
• Body image and the "messy middle." You don't have to love your body to accept it. Holding two truths at once — "I feel uncomfortable with this" and "I'm not going back to the diet train" — is 'healthier' than forced positivity.
• Cravings work the same way. Resisting a food craving by having a substitute often just prolongs the craving — sometimes having the thing you actually want is the kinder, more effective option.
• Permission to not be the "fun, positive" person all the time. Whether it's dreading a hot holiday, not wanting a birthday party, or feeling slower on a run than you were years ago — we both land on the idea that accepting discomfort (rather than fighting it or forcing yourself into positivity) is what actually creates ease.

The takeaway: acceptance doesn't mean loving everything about how you feel or look — it means making room for the truth of where you are, without judgment, so the feeling doesn't have to fight so hard to be heard.

We'd love to hear your thoughts on this - is there something you resist, that just doesn't get easier or go away? Is there something in your life where acceptance would bring about ease and peace?

Support the show

Please reach out if you would like some support with your relationship to food OR movement. Ela currently has limited spaces for Intuitive Eating/nutrition coaching and if you'd like to build strength or feel more comfortable in your skin, contact Christine.  If you'd like exclusive access to our supporter-only channel click here.

We appreciate you! 

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode, we're joined by the wonderful Caroline Toshack for a thought provoking conversation about coming home to our bodies after an eating disorder or indeed years of chronic dieting.

Caroline shares how her career evolved from personal training, sports coaching and competitive endurance sport into Pilates, yoga and body-led therapeutic work. We talk about her experience of living with an eating disorder, the pressure and identity that can become wrapped up in athletic performance, and the shift that came when movement became less about punishment and more about connection.

We explore recovery, body image, neurodivergence, slowing down, and what it can look like to return to movement with curiosity rather than striving. This conversation is about permission: permission to change, permission to let go of old identities, move for joy, and choose the path that feels sustainable.

Key takeaways

• Movement can be a way of coming home to our bodies.
• Pilates and slower, more embodied forms of movement can help us tune into breath, sensation and self-trust.
• Athletic identity can be difficult to release when performance, achievement and self-worth have always been interconnected.
• We can return to sport and exercise in a healthier way by loosening/ softening our attachment to pace, goals and external validation.
• Neurodivergence can shape our relationship with movement and routine.
• Goals do not always need to be rigid; sometimes it is enough to have something to explore, rather than something to prove.
• Letting go of who you thought you had to be can make room for who you actually are
• Recovery isn’t about doing everything perfectly. It’s about building trust with yourself, one choice at a time.
• There is an important need for more informed conversations and training around movement and eating-disorder recovery.

Support the show

Please reach out if you would like some support with your relationship to food OR movement. Ela currently has limited spaces for Intuitive Eating/nutrition coaching and if you'd like to build strength or feel more comfortable in your skin, contact Christine.  If you'd like exclusive access to our supporter-only channel click here.

We appreciate you! 

Send us Fan Mail

We've been thinking a lot lately about intuitive eating and whether it really is for everyone. There's so much confusion and misinformation out there, and we wanted to take a moment to cut through some of that. 

At its heart, Intuitive eating isn't a diet, a religion, or a set of rigid rules to follow — it's a flexible framework designed to help you find freedom and peace around food. 

The more we work with different clients, the more we believe that almost everyone can find an entry point into it, regardless of where they're starting from. Whether you're recovering from disordered eating, navigating a busy family life, working within a tight budget, or simply trying to untangle years of diet culture messaging — there is something here for you. These are our key takeaways from that conversation.

5 Key Takeaways

1. Intuitive eating is a flexible framework, not a set of rules. A major source of confusion is people treating it as either a "hunger and fullness diet" or a free pass to eat whatever you want at all times. In reality, it's a guide with 10 different focus areas that can be adapted to your individual circumstances and needs.
2. Some principles may not be accessible to everyone right now — and that's okay. People recovering from eating disorders, those who are neurodivergent, or those with limited food access may find certain aspects harder to engage with. The key is to work with the principles that are available to you and park the others for later.
3. Structure and intuitive eating can coexist. You don't have to eat only when hunger strikes to be an intuitive eater. Having a loose meal schedule (especially helpful for ADHD brains that forget to eat) is entirely compatible — the intuitive part comes in making choices within that structure.
4. Joyful movement follows the same logic. The movement principle isn't about doing minimal exercise or punishing yourself — it's about regularly asking yourself why you're moving and how you want to feel. This is accessible to everyone, regardless of ability or fitness level.
5. Intuitive eating is not a weight loss tool. Your body has a natural set point range, and eating intuitively means allowing it to settle where it functions best — which may not align with cultural ideals. The goal is freedom around food and self-compassion, not a specific body size.

So, don't dismiss it or give up on it, rather, explore where your entry point to intuitive eating might be and start there!

Things we mentioned in the episode:

Sandra Aamodt Ted Talk on set point theory: Why Dieting Doesn't Work https://youtu.be/jn0Ygp7pMbA?si=Lm6yBsFplo1L1M2Q

Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch - Intuitive Eating book and worksbook https://www.intuitiveeating.org/our-books/

Support the show

Please reach out if you would like some support with your relationship to food OR movement. Ela currently has limited spaces for Intuitive Eating/nutrition coaching and if you'd like to build strength or feel more comfortable in your skin, contact Christine.  If you'd like exclusive access to our supporter-only channel click here.

We appreciate you! 

Send us Fan Mail

In a world determined to sell us anti-ageing solutions, what would it look like to trust our bodies instead? This conversation explores ageism, diet culture, menopause, embodiment, and the radical possibility of ageing without apology.

 We just loved this conversation with Deb Benfield. Deb truly embodies her work and exudes an inner confidence and an ease with herself and her own body, that is at once disarming and encouraging.

Key Takeaways:

•  Diet culture and ageism often collide in midlife, creating pressure to "fix" our bodies just as they're changing in normal ways. 
•  Embodiment offers an antidote to body image struggles: moving, dancing, and inhabiting our bodies helps us remember we're bodies to be lived in, not objectified.
•  Trusting the body becomes even more important through perimenopause and menopause, when appetite, energy, and physical needs naturally fluctuate. 
•  The stories we tell ourselves about ageing matter. Research suggests that positive attitudes toward ageing can influence health, wellbeing, and longevity. 
•  Unlearning ageism starts with noticing the assumptions we make about youth, ageing, and what bodies "should" look like at different stages of life. 
•  Rather than chasing anti-ageing promises, we can focus on nurturing strength, connection, pleasure, and quality of life. 
•  Ageing unapologetically means embracing change while staying rooted in self-trust, self-compassion, and respect for the wisdom of our lived experience. 

Here are some links if you'd like to find out more about Deb, or have a look at her offerings:

Deb Benfield Website

 Instagram

Substack

Buy Deb's book - Unapologetic Aging

Support the show

Please reach out if you would like some support with your relationship to food OR movement. Ela currently has limited spaces for Intuitive Eating/nutrition coaching and if you'd like to build strength or feel more comfortable in your skin, contact Christine.  If you'd like exclusive access to our supporter-only channel click here.

We appreciate you! 

Send us Fan Mail

If you're based in the UK,  you'll know that at the time of recording it was SUPER hot here.  Hotter weather can often bring up body image concerns, that may have kept themselves hidden under the layers of autumn, winter and spring.  

Key Takeaways:

• Summer can bring body image struggles back to the surface — especially when we’re wearing less and comparing ourselves to unrealistic images online.
• Feeling uncomfortable in your body doesn’t mean you’re failing at body acceptance; it means you’re human.
• There’s a huge difference between living in your body and constantly viewing it as an object to be judged.
• Seasonal eating is normal — craving lighter foods in hot weather isn’t automatically “being good.”
• Diet culture can make even intuitive choices feel moralised or tied to weight loss.
• Movement, cold water, and getting outside can help reconnect us to our bodies instead of staying trapped in self-criticism.

Support the show

Please reach out if you would like some support with your relationship to food OR movement. Ela currently has limited spaces for Intuitive Eating/nutrition coaching and if you'd like to build strength or feel more comfortable in your skin, contact Christine.  If you'd like exclusive access to our supporter-only channel click here.

We appreciate you!