I don’t explain my hospitalization in this podcast episode. But here’s the prelude leading to it. I honestly thought I’d never need a psychiatric hospitalization again. I thought I was past all that…so this came as an awful surprise and after my son’s important event that I wanted to be so special and it deserved to be. I felt like I ruined it and my marriage was in jeopardy. This is what happened… Song dedications for this podcast episode: My Life by Imagine Dragons and Blood Upon the Snow by Hozier & Bear McCreary. Listen to however you get your music.

The small things matter when you’re in a vulnerable state. Among other things, I share the small, gradual progress that compounded to steer me in a better direction that helped me get through my depression rut and spring funk. **Song recommendation: Fight Song by Rachel Platten. Listen on YouTube.com or however you get your music. I like the hour version the best.:)

After a very long break (over a year) I’m finally back! This marks a new starting line as I’ve reached the “enough is enough” threshold and will get out of this rut. **Song recommendation—Joy in the Morning by Tauren Wells (worship version). Look up on YouTube or however you get your music.

Relaying the ins and outs of trying to properly cope with my situation. Too bad it continued to be “the perfect storm” as you will later see.

Take a listen to my hard day…but by golly I survived! My son had a fun birthday so mission accomplished!:)

My current crazy life situation right now. It’s been a “perfect storm” for my mental health.

Do you have a hard time “showing up” in your life with what you want to do and end up self-sabotaging with a new endeavor? Do u keep recreating the same with focusing on your struggles? Are you stuck in your old identity but scared of who you could really become if you create the identity you want? These are some of the things I’ve been facing and need to address to help me continue with this podcast. I also have a better plan to share the content I’ve already recorded that I think will benefit you.:) Song recommendation: “This Is Me” from The Greatest Showman soundtrack. Listen however you get your music or listen on YouTube.com.

I hope sharing more of my suicide attempt story, the mistakes I made that can be learned from, and what I learned calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is helpful. Here are some useful resources featured in today's podcast: 

Songs that Bring Hope--Listen to however you get your music or YouTube 

Truth Be Told by Mathew West 

The God Who Stays by Mathew West 

Be Alright by Evan Craft, Redimi2, and Danny Gokey (There's a rap and no rap version) 

Immediate Help with Suicide/Suicidal Thoughts 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-253-8255 

Speak to a Peer Specialist through a Warm Line (See below for your state) 

NAMI-National-HelpLine-WarmLine-Directory-3-11-20.pdf 

Crisis Textline (U.S. and Canada) 

Crisis Text Line | Text HOME To 741741 free, 24/7 Crisis Counseling 

Hear from Suicide Survivors 

Suicide Noted Podcast 

Online Therapy 

Talkspace - #1 Rated Online Therapy, 1 Million+ Users 

BetterHelp | Professional Counseling With A Licensed Therapist 

Resource for Family and Friends to be Best Support 

Home - #BeThe1To

My heart goes out to you if you are suicidal or are having suicidal thoughts! Your life matters and please stay! Even if the world or your life is a complete mess—if you go through with it, you’ll never find out how good and meaningful your life could get. And your intense suffering or dark/numb nothingness can ease quicker than you think with the right help and support. Hopefully my story and insight will be of benefit. Also, I want to dedicate these 3 songs to this podcast episode that you can listen to however you get your music or look up the lyric videos on YouTube.com. #1 “No Longer Slaves” by Bethel Music. (Love the lyric video imagery of going through the woods similar to going on your own Underground Railroad to get to freedom. Also love the more unplugged lyric video of flowy white fabric to feel of God’s love for you as I imagine Him in white robes wanting to encircle you in His love and comfort you in your pain.) #2 “Tell Your Heart to Beat Again” by Danny Gokey. (Love the lyric video of being on a better road than possibly this dirt one you’ve been on.) #3 “Worn” by Tenth Avenue North. (Also love the “Worn-video journal” by lead singer Mike Donehey.)

Why I’ve been taking awhile to get going with this podcast. Thank you for your patience.:)