Finding God in Our Pain by Sherrie Pilkington

August 14, 2024 Micro Moments With God to Grow Relationship Intimacy

Discussion Points:

*Host, Sherrie discusses a Bible Study titled "Do You Love Me? Exploring Our Relationships with God and Others" by Debbie Swindall, facilitated by Amy Heilman of Breathe Deep Ministries, which has deeply impacted her relationship with God.

*Sherrie emphasizes the importance of making intentional time to engage with God, especially during emotional or challenging moments, to discover His love and purpose for us.

*She shares her journey of finding peace and intimacy with God, highlighting the challenges of slowing down and truly resting in Him, rather than merely checking off religious tasks.

*The episode encourages listeners to seek God's presence in every micro moment, using specific action steps to process emotions and receive God's grace and guidance, ultimately experiencing a more peaceful and fulfilling life.

Podcast Episode/Transcript: This is going to be a short episode but it was important enough for me to make it an episode because I had to share this study with you. It’s titled, Do You Love Me? Exploring our relationships with God and others by Debbie Swindoll. Published by Grafted Life Ministries. From what I can discern it’s been around since 2014; I have the 3rd edition published in 2018.

Have you ever had the opportunity to participate in this particular bible study? If so, I’d love to hear your thoughts, your takeaway. This is the first time I’ve ever described a bible study as sweet. The most tender hearted bible study I’ve ever been a part of. When I say tender hearted, it’s because of the way it reveals the Father’s love for us, His heart to know us and for us to discover Him. The point that was highlighted for me, was the simplicity of what God requires of us in order to know Him more. Then I was perplexed because I treat it with such difficulty.

Because of the way I’ve grown in my intimacy with Christ (after doing this bible study) I wanted to make you aware of it as well. Should you want to participate I can definitely get you in contact with my friend who is the founder of Breathe Deep Ministries, Amy Hellman. I don’t receive any type of compensation for connecting you with her. Her contact info will be in the show notes. She’s not the publisher nor the author but she facilitates this study.

You may be familiar with Amy’s name because she has been on my podcast a couple of times. A few years back she was a guest and we talked about her book Soul Stripper. It’s a free download online. It is her personal story of how God works with us to strip us of (by way of healing) the various ways we’re attached to this world. As well as the ways we attempt to satisfy our flesh or people please etc. and she moves us into finding our identity in Christ, a strong identity in Him alone.

Also, she did one other episode where she took the mic to interview me about my first year of podcasting, asking me questions about all that I had learned through the messages that my guests had shared. That would have been in Sept. of 2021, which reminds me, I’m putting together some pretty exciting things for my 4 year anniversary in September of this year! I’ll keep you posted.

And then lastly, real quick with Amy you may have heard me speak of finding, what I considered and it has proven true, my last layer of healing from abandonment issues. Part of my journey with finding healing for various things associated with my childhood. Amy walked me through Theophostic Prayer and using that healing model the Lord gave me a vision.

I’ve talked about the vision before so I won’t repeat it again, so we can get to the purpose of this episode but engaging the Holy Spirit through Theophostic prayer and the vision of the Lord’s presence (in a very scary time as a child), broke off the last bit of pain associated with abandonment. All that to say this, the reason I even know anything about this study is because I’m currently seeing Amy for Spiritual Direction counseling and she offered me this study and I gladly joined in and boy am I happy I did.

The Lord has been calling me into these pockets of quiet time with Him. As He’s doing that it’s never been more obvious to me that my challenge is to slow down. Rest. Rest in Him. Rest with Him.

I actually thought I was slowing down because my typical pace and the fact that I was making time to engage the Holy Spirit showed a marked difference in my life even from a couple of years ago. I’m thinking I’m doing the thing and knocking it out of the park but something just stayed under the surface that simply did not sit right. A feeling of doing the thing but still missing out. Not getting the full expression, the full experience. However, I simply couldn’t put my finger on what was possibly missing.

I’m reading the word, I’m making a joyful noise unto the Lord singing praise and worship music, praying for my family/friends, I go to church etc. I’m checking off the good Christian girl checklist. Well, I did the Christian checklist for many years but at this time in my life I would not have called it that because my heart is head over heels in love with Jesus.

I love my time with the Lord. I’m no longer trying to perform to earn His affection or make sure I’m maintaining His approval. He has seen me at my absolute worst. And not just once. But countless times. He has yet to turn away. As an example of my affection for the Lord, in this particular season of my life, I am very content, very happy and I have a deep rooted peace in my soul. I need nothing and I want nothing. He has my full attention and I wait on Him to direct my life.

So it was in those quiet times with the Lord, that the missing something seemed to be more prominent when I rushed the wrap up of my time with Him. I would enjoy my bible reading and prayer time but in the mornings I’d get to a certain point and then I’d be up and into something else so quickly I was left wondering if I even told the Lord, "I love you?!"

When I’d have my quiet time with the Lord in the evenings, it often ended with me going to sleep and not remembering if I even finished my prayers. I would fall asleep in the middle of praying or simply talking to God about something or reading His word. It’s not that I felt condemned because if you have children, is that not the sweetest thing you can experience; your children so content with you that they will let their guard down, and surrender to the day, falling asleep with you nearby.

However, I just couldn’t shake the feeling that I’m missing out on something. That Jesus intended more for me. But what was missing?

It’s intriguing to me that the simplicity with which we have access to the heart of God as He sits on His sovereign throne and yet in real time our actions say it’s incredibly difficult. Maybe on a subconscious level, we believe it to be a, too good to be true, scenario and so our heart discredits it so that it carries no weight in our life?

Or maybe it’s that God’s goodness and kindness are always available and so we take it for granted. It’ll always be there so it’s no rush, I’ll get to it when I can. I know I’ve treated God that way. The Creator of all things wants to know me and I have “better things” more pressing things to do. As I say that out loud it’s incredibly humbling. It’s mind boggling that I pass up these moments with such ease. Even if I experience a flash of guilt, it’s simply that, a flash.

Because the truth is, as a daughter of the One True King of kings and Lord of lords, the One who has no rival and no equal that you can picture yourself running up to the throne room doors and not only do the armed guards step aside they open the massive doors without a question. You run toward your Father. No one stops you as you climb up the steps, probably stepping all over His royal train that fills the throne room. Into His lap you sit and you begin to tell Him about your day and He is absolutely delighted that you have chosen to come and sit with Him.

If you’re a parent, you can imagine or maybe you know the feeling when your children chose to spend time with you OR when your children choose lesser things (like video games or being on their phone). We’ve all heard it said that one of our biggest mistakes is that we think we have time….but time is a resource that quickly evaporates.

Many times I have questioned, you’ve heard me ask on my podcasts, why-oh-why do we choose lesser things than the perfection that God offers us. After engaging this study I have the answer!

Many of you already have the answer but God is so kind to us in the way He brings revelation to us as the individuals He created us to be. Sometimes, things just click and you have a DUH moment. Like, I knew that part and that part but now it’s all come together for a much clearer understanding. Maybe that’s when you move from the duh moment to the ah ha moment.

Why do we choose lesser things compared to what God has for us? Because in this life we will deal with the flesh and yet our soul knows there’s something more. We are made mind, body and soul/spirit. We’re trapped in an earthly body, with a soul that longs for heaven and our mind is the battlefield. We straddle this world with our flesh and the spiritual world with our spirit.

There is an intentional action, an intentional choice, in the battleground of the mind that takes us from being controlled by the flesh to walking in the fullness of who God created us to be but let’s look at the details of what we’re working against first.

In this place between discovering what we were created for and heaven, we fight against the desires of the flesh because the flesh that we’re wrapped-in is broken and sinful; it wants what it wants using the quickest, least resistant path to immediate gratification and yet our soul intuitively knows there is something more.

In our DNA, God placed His image and therefore a natural desire for Garden of Eden moments. Our soul longs for beauty, truth, life, relationship, love, joy, etc. etc so the soul searches and its first access point is to use the flesh to find it. Our emotions, our 5 senses, the world around us…it’s natural to us, God gave us those things….but this is why the Lord says we must be born again, that we need to die to our flesh, that we need to pick up our cross and follow the Lord. As uninviting as that sounds always remember you are never alone in the process. You have the very presence of God and our biggest trials bring the most beautiful rewards.

In the midst of choosing lesser things over taking those incremental steps toward discovering and fulfilling what you were created for, which is rooted in discovering God’s heart for you, you can be encouraged that God is never offended, never mad, nor does He want to teach you a lesson. We can learn plenty of hard knock lessons from following our flesh…God doesn’t need to do anything to us, there’s plenty of teachable moments in one days time based on how we personally engage life….one micro decision at a time, throughout any given day.

In the moments when our feelings and/or our emotions are driving us, it’s time to take breath, maybe a couple of breaths, and grab a few minutes with Holy Spirit. This juncture (of environment and our emotion) is the place where we can interrupt old patterns, challenge lie based thinking and negative reactions. Because the truth is, if we do not create a space in which we give God our emotions and allow Him to filter them with His truth we will, without fail, end up creating survival skills and self-coping vices (based on our own limited understanding/experiences) that we think are helping or at the very least, protecting us.

When we don’t take responsibility by way of making time to heal from our past traumas, emotional and mental scars, all the affects of living in a broken world and with our self-imposed survival skills and self-coping vices we will stay in our own dry, dusty desert for 40+ years just like the Israelites. God is with us but our eyes are never seeing and our ears never hear.

Sadly, trauma never leaves on its own. The grip of that which seeks to steal, kill, and destroy has to be evicted. You have to break agreement with it, cast it out when necessary. You’ve heard me say this before, we’re not responsible for what has been done to us but we are responsible to find the healing we need and to not give up until we are walking in God’s peace, healing and redemption.

When you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Savior and invited Him to live in your heart, you gained access (through Jesus) to now discover who you were created to be. Something that had been hidden from you as a prior enemy of Christ.

Now with direct access to the throne of God, you have the opportunity to discover how He knit you together in our own mother’s womb. What is it about you that is most like God? What gifts and talents mirror His creative heart? What are your core charateristics that align with Him?

As you go on this adventure with Christ and He reveals your gifts, talents, skills and He begins to open doors and create certain connections and relationships, He will reveal this things and teach you how to steward them with Heaven’s value system vs our own value system. He will reveal it little by little so that you can digest and apply what He is showing you. Hence the lifelong adventure of relationship and His revelation after revelation.

The simplicity with which we can know the depths of God’s love for us and who He created us to be, what we were created for, the different seasons He’s calling us into, what our gifts and talents are… comes down to this, time.

To make time, is the intentional action, the intentional choice in the midst of the emotional and mental battleground of the mind that takes us from being controlled by the flesh to walking in the fullness of who God created us to be.

Not time checking off the good Christian girl to do list with the just get it done heart posture. The result of that type of investment is fake at best and you can expect your return to be empty as well; ask me how I know. Take the time to be still and discover the type of Father who loves you. Intimacy grows over time and engagement.

In every circumstance of your life and in every micro moment that you have an emotion or a question about who you are, maybe you’re being challenged in an area where you’re weak, or your moments when you feel disconnected, overwhelmed and you’re loosing hope. Pause, be still, breathe, turn your heart and mind toward Jesus. Engage God/Jesus/Holy Spirit (you can start with any one of the 3), invite Him in, ask Him what is this I’m feeling. Why am I feeling this?

If He reveals it (because sometimes He simply gives you encouragement in the moment to endure and/or He offers His reassurance that He’s with you and He’ll see you through) ... so when the time comes that He reveals it, ask Him to help you. And maybe this might be the most challenging part of the process is to accept His grace as you are stepping into who He’s called you to be.

Most of the time it’s not a flawless transition. Here’s what I think is the perfect example of this journey we’re on. Adam and Eve started off living in intimacy with God. They had daily, face to face conversations with God. He was present 24/7, and they rejected Him. We’re born in the condition of having rejected Him and we’re on the journey to return to the benefits of the Garden of Eden. Daily, direct access spirit to spirit or heart to heart with God. He’s present 24/7 and He waits for our invitation for Him to join us in our darkest, most painful places of life.

Nothing about this life, our existence, our challenges, how we use our gift of choice etc. has God concerned, confused or disengaged. Nor is He overwhelmed or disgusted. No. God knows marriage is hard. God knows that the various types of handicaps or physical illness will cause us to question who He is. He knows the evil that people do to one another. Heat breaking yes, but He’s the God who walks among His people

He’s never taken off guard and you know why? Because He’s already put those things to death in the spiritual and He wants you and I to know and experience it too. He wants those Garden of Eden moments with us.

He’s saying, babe, will you bring that to me? Will you trust me with that pain, that emotion, your reaction? I’ve already healed that on the cross but I want you to allow me to walk you through your personal pain because I want you to experience, first-hand, the healing I’ve provided. I want you to see how much I love you as you let me dismantle the lie based thinking or the painful memories you have. I give double for the what the enemy has robbed you of. I take the very thing that satan wanted to destroy you with and I flip it producing good things in your life. I bring redemption, I bring restoration.

Allow me to remind your heart of Matthew 11:28-30, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your soul. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Making time is a challenge. Accepting God’s grace as a way of life is humbling and therefore it struggles against our pride/our flesh, but there may be an even bigger challenge for the flesh and that is to have the courage to see God for who He really is. Not who we want Him to be and not who we think He should be. It threatens our flesh because we may have to redefine some foundational things we have been building our life on. I actually think it might even be more scary to change direction when we realize that some of our foundational blocks have been lies.

All the more reason to give God space (by being still) and allow Him to reveal Himself to us in every context of life, most especially in the context of pain and suffering. If we can do that and actually embrace who He is even though it may be in direct opposition to what we thought would be, or what we want it to be … that’s the place of transformation, where we step into more and more of who we were created to be. Where we find the kind of purpose that even if it’s the hardest thing we’ve ever done, we’ve never felt more alive, fulfilled and rewarded.

(side note: God moves in unique ways with us as the individual He created us to be but what we experience or the revelations we receive with Him will never contradict God’s character and nature. If you feel that God is revealing Himself and it is in opposition to His word, question the source. If not inline with God, it is not of Him).

Do you have the courage today to give God those micro moments of engagement with the emotions or feelings that need some healing, maturing; things that need a closer inspection even though it will challenge the way you perceive yourself? I would encourage you to start today and try to catch yourself in those type moments. Interrupt where those emotions will take you. Pause, breathe and engage God with these 3 actions steps/conversation that were in the study (I’ve added some of my words for the way I shared this message but they are in the same in nature).

God, what is happening with regard to what I’m experiencing or feeling?

God, help me to perceive what you reveal and give me courageous ears to hear.

God, show me what your grace looks like in this moment.

And I’d even add this question for God ... Who do you want to be for me in this situation?

The more time we spend with God to process the impact or purge the residue of this life, the more peaceful, and the more beautiful life becomes. We don’t have to wait for heaven to enjoy the heart of the Father, the joy of the Son, Jesus nor the wisdom/revelations of Holy Spirit. We can know a slice of heaven, a small taste of the Garden of Eden in the here and now. All it takes are micro moments of pausing, of investing our time in the heart of God. When we do, we watch our meager offer, our 5 loaves and 2 fish if you will, multiplied beyond our imagination.

Live Loved and Thrive! @alifeofthrive.com

Resources:

Breathe Deep Ministries/Amy Hellman - https://www.breathedeepministries.org/

Grafted Life Ministries: Graftedlife.org

Related Podcast Episodes:

In the Presence of God (w/Kevin White): https://alifeofthrive.com/2022/03/02/presence/

Here’s How Psalm 23 Showed Me God’s Faithfulness (w/Sherrie Pilkington): https://alifeofthrive.com/2022/08/17/heres-how-psalm-23-showed-me-gods-faithfulness/

Can I (or Anyone) Ruin God’s Plan for My Life? (W/Sherrie Pilkington): https://alifeofthrive.com/2024/04/24/can-i-or-anyone-ruin-gods-plan-for-my-life/