Finding Normal: Life after Spiritual Trauma

Finding Normal: Life after Spiritual Trauma episodes:

• 04.17.2024

  Short Thoughts - I'm Still Standing

  A very short episode - thoughts inspired by a song...on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ETC85CgzTHM?si=IVQK0dxc12Us_4g9on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/2UHK8agSYWJUzMuQTPMCVq

  
• 04.10.2024

  41: IFB Culture

  We discuss why transition out of the IFB feels like living in a foreign culture, IFB social hierarchy and potential inbreeding, with background music by Poppy the guinea pig.CD Code: MUSICEPISODE24

  
• 02.13.2024

  40: The Music Episode

  We finally tackle a much requested topic - Christian Music. So many rules, so little sense. So what music is ok - and why do Christians make up so many rules about it?Recommended Resources:Postmodern JukeboxOur CD - discount code: MUSICEPISODE24

  
• 12.13.2023

  39: Psychological Manipulation and the Israel/Hamas conflict

  A number of people in the Deconstructing/Advocate community read this situation shockingly wrong. So what's really going on?This is a very heavy and long episode, but we felt it couldn't really be any shorter without leaving out anything important.Recommended Resource:The...

  
• 12.02.2023

  38: Purity Culture

  We discuss the toxic IFB teachings on "purity" and how it is destructive, harmful, and not even close to the truth. Once you start really examining it, the evangelical view of sex is quite disturbing.Resources:Bare MarriageShe Deserves BetterAndrew BaumanGod Made...

  
• 11.17.2023

  37: Rejecting Legalism Isn't Enough

  We explore something we have noticed - when people recognize and reject legalism and think that they have somehow arrived at a new and better Christianity. But it isn't enough and we discuss why.Resources: Rebecca Davis' Blog - HeresTheJoy.comThe Unvarnished...

  
• 08.19.2023

  36: Money, Money, Money

  A discussion on how financial teaching and practices in abusive churches affect the lives of those under them - for years.Recommended Resource: Pagan ChristianityOther links:Reporting on Franklin's Graham's behaviorMore about Faith PromiseThe Naked Bible Podcast on MelchizedekOur Instagram profile

  
• 06.16.2023

  35: Why We Don't Go to Church

  We discuss why we longer attend and institutional church, why it's good to take a break from church, and what "church" actually is (despite what we think of).Resources:Broken Trust by F. Remy DiederichPagan Christianity by Frank Viola and George BarnaHeiser...

  
• 06.02.2023

  34: Book Review: Becoming Free Indeed by Jinger Duggar Vuolo

  We share our thoughts and analysis of Jinger Duggar's recent book. What's good, the import context of the book, what's bad, and what's missing.Recommended Resources:Untwisting Scriptures, Book 1 by Rebecca DavisUntwisting Scriptures, Book 3 by Rebecca DavisQuiverfull by Kathryn JoyceDocumentation...

  
• 05.10.2023

  33: Survivor Story: Interview with Olivia Hitt Olds

  TW: Discussion of Child Abuse, Death of a Pet, Suicidal ThoughtsWe talk with Olivia about her experience growing up under an abusive, narcissistic mother while under the influence of a toxic, abusive IFB "church" cult under a very controlling and...

  
• 03.24.2023

  Bonus: Analysis of "Created to Be His Helpmeet"

  Analysis of Debi Pearl's book Created to Be His Helpmeet. In which we refrain from reading inappropriate quotes from the book (mostly), dismiss Rachel's awkward college homemaking class, and reflect on why we don't like happy people.Resources:Interview with Cynthia Westphall...

  
• 02.04.2023

  31. What About Spanking?

  We discuss what the Bible teaches about spanking children and how scripture has been twisted to defend certain cultural ideas. We also delve into the history of spanking a bit to see where the idea of disciplining children that way...

  
• 01.20.2023

  30: Modern Manifestations of Patriarchy

  We discuss a variety of modern patriarchal movements and teachers. The final episode in our patriarchy series.Examples of False teaching:Created to be His Helpmeet by Debbi PearlLove and Respect by Emerson EggerichsDocumentation of Piper's abuse and support of abuse: https://baremarriage.com/2022/06/john-piper-tells-women-with-harsh-husbands-to-basically-do-nothing/https://baremarriage.com/2022/06/podcast-why-john-piper-should-stop-talking-about-marriage/Helpful...

  
• 12.02.2022

  29: Untwisting Scriptures Book 4 with author Rebecca Davis

  We talk with Rebecca Davis about her newest book - Untwisting Scriptures Book 4: Wolves, Hypocrisy, Sin Leveling, and Righteousness. It's a really good one! Get the book here: https://a.co/d/3NQ2trQ

  
• 11.11.2022

  28: Patriarchy Pt. 7: The Rebirth of Patriarchy

  We delve deep into the history of where modern patriarchy finds its roots. Since it isn't from the Bible where did it come from?The Making of Biblical Womanhood by Beth Barr: https://amzn.to/3xcPDjQThe Other Half PodcastInterview with Beth Barr on Theology...

  
• 10.18.2022

  27: What About Halloween?

  We discuss the origins of Halloween and whether you can take your kids trick-or-treating. Has the church told the truth about Halloween?Books:Trick or Treat: The History of HalloweenThe Book of Hallowe'enPodcast Episodes about Samhain: https://peeranormal.com/podcast/peeranormal-18-samhain-and-halloween/About Witch hunts:https://www.historyextra.com/period/stuart/witch-hunters-podcast-marion-gibson/ About Salem: https://www.historyextra.com/podcast-series/salem-witch-trials-history-podcast-se...

  
• 10.04.2022

  26: Justin Woodbury Interview Pt 2

  In this two part interview we have a conversation with Justin about his new book and his experience in the IFB. Trigger Warning: Sexual AbuseJustin's Book: Sheltered but Not Protected

  
• 10.04.2022

  25: Justin Woodbury Interview, Pt 1

  In this two part interview we have a conversation with Justin about his new book and his experience in the IFB. Trigger Warning: Sexual AbuseJustin's Book: Sheltered but Not Protected

  
• 09.16.2022

  24: What about Women Pastors? (Patriarchy Pt. 6)

  We explore the question of women in church leadership, and why that is one of the things that scares complementarians.Recommended Resource: Paul and Gender by Cynthia WestfallInterview with Complementarian Professor on Theology in the RawMarg Mowczko's Blog: https://margmowczko.com/margs-articles/

  
• 08.24.2022

  23: Patriarchy Pt. 5: A Ramble through Complementarianism

  We discuss the differences between Complementarianism and Patriarchy. Is it really any better, or is it just a different name for the same thing?Links:CBE Website: https://www.cbeinternational.org/Episode from The Church Split: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/the-church-split-ep-51---gender-rolesSearching Together Website: https://www.searchingtogether.org/Webb's book on Women, etc.: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0830815619/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_8MH8W94GT7CH4B3X3Y4H Untwisting...

  
• 07.08.2022

  22: Patriarchy Pt. 4: NT Passages Deep Dive

  In this episode we examine more passages in the New Testament in more depth that may seem to support patriarchy. Resources: Heiser on Headcoverings: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-naked-bible-podcast/id961385822?i=1000430050017What Paul Really Said About Women by John Bristow: https://amzn.to/3xsI3lhThe Making of Biblical Womanhood by Beth...

  
• 05.13.2022

  21: Patriarchy Pt. 3: Philosophical Foundations of "Biblical" Patriarchy / Women in the NT

  What does the Bible actually say about how women should function in the church? Does the so called "Biblical Patriarchy" movement really have a basis in Christianity and the Bible? We start into this discussion with interesting results.What Paul Really...

  
• 05.06.2022

  20: Patriarchy Pt. 2: The Old Testament & Life of Jesus

  We discuss whether the Old Testament teaches patriarchy, and how it fits in for New Testament believers. Then we get into the life of Jesus and how he treated women...very instructive!Recommended Resource: Own Your Life by Sally Clarkson: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1414391285/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_2Y9JCH1DT7MBDXVP4P86Slaves, Women,...

  
• 04.22.2022

  19: Patriarchy Pt. 1: Adam and Eve

  Beginning our study of Patriarchy with the scriptural basis (or lack thereof). We discuss what creation, the fall, and some NT passages that discuss them show us about how God views women.Recommended Resource: What Paul Really Said About Women by...

  
• 04.08.2022

  18: The "Man of God" (Spiritual Authority, Part 5)

  Good News for pastors and all believers as we delve into the commonly misused titles and responsibilities often attached to "preachers" in the church.Recommended Resource: 58 to 0 by Jon Zens: https://amzn.to/3ui0NBSThe Roys Report - Bullies in the Pulpit: https://podcasts.apple.com/sr/podcast/bullies-in-the-pulpit/id1470242499?i=1000541368812

  
• 03.25.2022

  17: Book Review - Schizophrenic by Tom Brennan

  In this episode we examine a book that calls out some of the errors in IFB churches. Unfortunately it falls a bit short...4-Freedom podcast on Baptist Successionism: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/17-baptist-successionism-part-1-baptist-distinctives/id1517878135?i=1000493233283Sermon Series "How We Got our Bible": https://www.sermonaudio.com/search.asp?sourceonly=true&currSection=sermonssource&keyword=tri-city&subsetcat=series&subsetitem=How+We+Got+Our+BibleMe...

  
• 02.04.2022

  15: False Teaching on Authority - The Umbrella Heresy (Spiritual Authority, Part 3)

  The "Umbrella of Protection" is one of the most pervasive false teachings on authority. Popularized by Bill Gothard in his materials it spread throughout the IFB and Homeschool movements. For more detailed information about the harm Gothard and his organization...

  
• 02.04.2022

  16: False Teaching on Authority - the Authority Principle (Spiritual Authority, Part 4)

  We experienced this "repackaged" version of Gothard's teaching first hand at Youth Development Camp (YDC) while serving as counselors to young people from Falls Baptist Church. Based on the same misuse of scripture, but we got to see some of...

  
• 12.17.2021

  14: What About Santa Clause?

  What should we tell our kids about Santa Clause? Is there a place for Santa and Jesus in Christmas celebrations?Recommended Resources:https://nakedbiblepodcast.com/podcast/naked-bible-195-is-christmas-a-pagan-holiday/https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/should-you-tell-your-kids-santa-claus-is-real/id1510271421?i=1000543253525https://pambarnhill.com/why-advent/https://podtail.com/en/podcast/myths-and-legends/18-st-nick-rusty-chains-and-candy-canes/https://sallyclarkson.com/podcast/2018/12/2/...

  
• 12.01.2021

  13: Interview with Rebecca Davis, author of Untwisting Scriptures

  We have a great time with Rebecca Davis, discussing her books (especially her new release) that examine scriptures that are often misused by abusive churches and Bible teachers.Recommended Resource: Untwisting Scriptures, Book 3: Your Words, Your Emotions - https://amzn.to/3rpvVhxRebecca's Blog:...

  
• 11.16.2021

  12: Spiritual Authority, Part 2

  We continue our discussion of what the Bible actually teaches about who has spiritual authority and what that means. This time we focus on the epistles, and particularly some passages that have been misused in order to control people.* we...

  
• 11.03.2021

  11: Spiritual Authority, Part 1

  The beginning of a mini-series on the topic of spiritual authority - the misuse of which is one of the foundational errors that leads to spiritual abuse. We give some examples of what it looks like when spiritual authority is...

  
• 10.18.2021

  10: The Dangers of Secret Courtship (Dating & Courtship in a Toxic Faith Environment, Part 3)

  We talk about our experience with the particular extreme courtship practices of the church we were in. Even more than "typical" courtship practice it's particularly detrimental to faith and relationships both at the time, and in the future.Rebecca Davis' book...

  
• 10.18.2021

  9: Courtship: It's All About Control (Dating & Courtship in a Toxic Faith Environment, Part 2)

  We discuss the teaching and methodology of courtship in more detail, and it turns out it's not really about faith and spirituality at all - it's about being able to control young people, even in major life decisions.Podcasts by ThatMom...

  
• 10.05.2021

  8: Dating Myths Debunked (Dating & Courtship in a Toxic Faith Environment, Part 1)

  We discuss some myths about dating commonly taught by people who teach "courtship" in the IFB. Most people probably date, but in the circles we were in it was taught as wrong, using several of these myths.

  
• 09.18.2021

  7: Our Story, part 2

  We discuss the worst part of our experiences in spiritually abusive churches. "Inside every cynical person is a disappointed idealist" (George Carlin)Chris's Letter to BCM in 2019: https://drive.google.com/file/d/10tV0Czw6C1l92zvTxdI_y6rm6qdbz2uC/view?usp=sharingRachel's Letter to BCM in 2019: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1oJLswM-TkgGLLOcJNDJ_VJYdjhFf_y7i/view?usp=sharing

  
• 09.18.2021

  6: Our Story, part 1

  We share the first part our of story - how we came to be in spiritually abusive churches; but also how we met and were set up to accept an abusive and controlling church/school environment. ...And how Chris got away...

  
• 09.16.2021

  5: Legalism, part 3

  We discuss the end results of legalism, as well as whether legalism is really dangerous in isolation. We also discuss the ramifications of legalism, shame, and toxic churches on individual believers. Recommended Resources: 1. Soul Repair by VanVonderen & Ryan:...

  
• 09.01.2021

  4: Shame-Based Systems

  We examine a specific kind of toxic environment, termed a "shame-based system" by Jeff VanVonderen in his book Tired of Trying to Measure Up. We talk about how to recognize whether a church, family, or work environment is based...

  
• 08.20.2021

  3: Legalism, Part 2

  In this episode we discuss why people become legalists, even though it's a miserable way to live. We also talk about how legalism is related to spiritual abuse.Recommended Resource: Healing Spiritual Abuse by Ken Blue: https://amzn.to/2WbMijt Other Resources:Broken Trust by...

  
• 08.04.2021

  2: Legalism, Part 1

  We discuss what Legalism is and how to recognize it. We also look at examples of legalism from the Bible, church history, and modern religious contexts.Recommended Resource: https://libertyforcaptives.com/2015/03/11/30-signs-of-legalism-a-checklist/Other Resources mentioned: Healing from Spiritual Abuse by Ken Blue: https://amzn.to/2WbMijtBooks from Nathaniel...

  
• 07.21.2021

  1: What is Spiritual Abuse?

  What do we mean by "spiritual trauma"? We talk about our background, how we became aware of spiritual abuse, and the basics of how to recognize high control groups and toxic leaders in religious and family settings.Characteristics of High Control...