As women move through perimenopause and postmenopause, desire can shift dramatically. When it comes to arousal and intimacy, the brain is your most powerful intimacy organ, especially for women. My guest today is Dr. Emily Jamea, nationally recognized sex and relationship therapist, clinical sexologist, and author of Anatomy of Desire. She walks you through the steps to finding your sexual flow state, which includes these five themes—sensuality, curiosity, adaptability, vulnerability, and attunement—that form the pillars of sexual flow. By practicing them, Dr. Jamea encourages individuals and couples to let go of performance pressure and co-create pleasure that feels effortless and deeply connected.

1. Sensuality

Fully inhabiting your body through the senses—touch, taste, smell, sight, sound—to ground yourself in physical pleasure. This presence reduces mental barriers and amplifies arousal.

2. Curiosity

Approaching sex with openness and wonder—about yourself, your partner, and new experiences—keeps passion alive. It balances familiarity with novelty to spark engagement.

3. Adaptability

Being flexible and responsive—tuning into changing needs, comfort levels, or sensations—creates a flow where both partners can meet each other in real time.

4. Vulnerability

Embracing emotional openness—sharing desires, insecurities, or boundaries—builds trust and allows a deeper, more surrendered intimacy.

5. Attunement

Achieving synchronicity—physically, emotionally, energetically—with yourself and your partner fosters unity and amplifies shared pleasure

Dr. Emily Jamea is an award-winning sex and relationship therapist and the USA Today best-selling author of Anatomy of Desire: Five Secrets to Create Connection and Cultivate Passion. She is a sought-after keynote speaker who presents nationally and internationally to diverse audiences, including educators, health and mental health professionals, corporate leaders, and the general public. Her expertise has been featured in Oprah Magazine, CNN, USA Today, NBC, and more. She offers online workshops as part of her mission to make her knowledge accessible to everyone. Dr. Jamea is an award-winning columnist for Healthy Women and was named as a 2025 Outstanding Woman in Medicine by The Arts of Healing Foundation. She hosts the Love and Libido podcast and writes for Psychology Today.

In this episode, we’ll explore:

How desire changes during menopause

How to reconnect with your body and reframe pleasure

The role of brain-based arousal and flow in intimacy

Why midlife is the perfect time to rewrite your sexual story

Whether you're in a relationship or navigating solo, this episode will empower you to take ownership of your sexual well-being and pleasure, at any age.

Medical Disclaimer:

By listening to this podcast, you agree not to use this podcast as medical advice or to make any lifestyle changes to treat any medical condition in yourself or others. Consult your own physician for any medical issues that you may be having. This entire disclaimer also applies to any of my guests on my podcast.

Learn more about Emily:

Website: https://emilyjamea.com/

FB: @dremilyjamea

IG: @dremilyjamea

Book: https://emilyjamea.com/home-page-2/

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