Finding Your Way

Part 2 of the interview with Hollie Jeffery focuses on the research behind Adverse Childhood Experiences and how trauma affects the body.

Sometimes when a child is upset or hurt, they do not have the words to express what is going on and use complaints of chronic headaches or tummy aches as their “distress signal”. This section dives into the reality that childhood trauma creates a feeling of not being safe, and how individuals experience triggers as they process their journey of healing. The conversation leans into the Awareness and Advocacy at the ACE Institute and what that looks like as a daily practice at the agency.

Resources:

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

CDC Study on ACES https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/aces/about.html

If you or someone you care about is experiencing an abusive relationship, you can call Care Lodge on the 24/7 Help Line at 601.693.4673 (HOPE) and speak with an advocate who can help you take your next step toward becoming safe.

If you are not in the east Mississippi/ west Alabama region, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

Individuals who are Deaf or hard of hearing may use TTY 1-800-787-3224. Visit our website www.carelodge.com for examples of safety plans and a list of all the free services available for victims of domestic violence.

Part 1 of the interview with Hollie Jeffery spotlights the “WHY” behind starting the ACE Institute and how her experience of over 18 years working with Child Protective Services and Child Advocacy Centers motivated her to dig deeper and learn about what was triggering behavior within foster children. Once she learned the WHY, her empathy deepened and she was able to apply that knowledge to help her clients go from a survivor to a thriving individual.

Hollie shares a story of what can happen to children when we miss the mark on thriving.

The ACE Institute is based on 3 primary components:

1. Light

2. Restoration

3. Awareness/Education

Our guest shares her spiritual convictions behind the three as well as how those focus areas all work together to help equip an individual who has experienced trauma thrive as an adult.

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE's), a.k.a childhood trauma, can leave survivors in the dark, with shattered and broken lives. Consequences can range from depression, mental illness, and loneliness to imprisonment and early death thru substance abuse, heart disease or even suicide.

It impacts not just the individual survivor, but society as a whole, as long-term consequences follow survivors into adulthood. It impacts our workforce, health care systems, schools, economy, as well as the individual.

ACE Institute Website

lightupaces.com

Ace Institute was founded on the principles from Isaiah 58 and 61 - God's heart for us is Light and Restoration - that we (the helpers and thrivers) would be the light in that darkness that brings hope and beauty and restoration to the ones who have survived but are not thriving yet.

“Your light will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you will be as bright as the noonday sun." Isaiah 58: 6-10.

If you or someone you care about is experiencing an abusive relationship, you can call Care Lodge on the 24/7 Help Line at 601.693.4673 (HOPE) and speak with an advocate who can help you take your next step toward becoming safe.

If you are not in the east Mississippi/ west Alabama region, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Individuals who are Deaf or hard of hearing may use TTY 1-800-787-3224.

Visit our website www.carelodge.com for examples of safety plans and a list of all the free services available for victims of domestic violence.

Need someone to ride along with you on your commute or while heading back home during your drive at 5? This podcast highlights a day in the life of the victim outreach and violence prevention strategy at Care Lodge. I will share moments that have kept the energy flowing, a few target marketing strategies, and how I make new friends during my travels.

Topics covered:

-Digital Abuse

-Community Resources

-School-Based Presentation and Family Outreach

-Supportive Services at local Colleges and Universities

-Training for faculty and staff

-Conversations, connections and inviting others into our mission.

-What would help a victim have the courage to share with a stranger or loved one that they need help?

-College Campus & Title IX

East Mississippi Community College:

Office of the Vice President of Scooba Campus

Tony Montgomery, Dean of Student Affairs & Title IX Coordinator

1512 Kemper Street Scooba, MS 39358

Office: 662.476.5062

Meridian Community College:

Mr. Derek Mosley, Smith Hall

Office 601.553.3453

Fax: 601.484.8635 E

Email: [email protected].

Mississippi State University (Starkville/ Meridian):

Brett Harvey, [email protected]

Office: 662.325.5839

University of West Alabama:

Robert Upchurch, Title IX Coordinator

UWA Station 6 (Webb Hall Room 344)

Office: 205.652.3533

Email: [email protected]

We want to personally invite you to join us in our mission to end violence so If you found something in this podcast helpful or you just liked what you heard… leave a comment below.

Make sure to like AND hit subscribe to this station to help us continue to be a beacon of light for someone experiencing a time of uncertainty. Thanks again for listening!

If you or someone you care about is experiencing an abusive relationship, you can call Care Lodge on the 24/7 Help Line at 601.693.4673 (HOPE) and speak with an advocate who can help you take your next step toward becoming safe.

If you are not in the east Mississippi/ west Alabama region, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Individuals who are Deaf or hard of hearing may use TTY 1-800-787-3224.

Visit our website www.carelodge.com for examples of safety plans and a list of all the free services available for victims of domestic violence.

Survivor, Nurse, Mother and mentor, Erica Glover is the author of Push Play©, and was inspired to write this book to complete her process of healing from domestic abuse. She desires to help women overcome fear, and walk into the realization that they are important and can accomplish any goal that enters their heart. Find out more about Erica and Push Play© at erica-glover.org!

Watch the full interview on our YouTube channel "Care Lodge Living Well".

Facebook @LifeInSync3

Life In Sync Live

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_QC... fbclid=IwAR1YR9Efe6qCe0JxVqq3TBauqupyCB99h-RapFVPtf1FscIJjxPV6oeyASoPress Play Bookhttps://erica-glover.org/

If you or someone you care about is experiencing an abusive relationship, you can call Care Lodge on the 24/7 Help Line at 601.693.4673 (HOPE) and speak with an advocate who can help you take your next step toward becoming safe.

If you are not in the east Mississippi/ west Alabama region, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Individuals who are Deaf or hard of hearing may use TTY 1-800-787-3224.

Visit our website www.carelodge.com for examples of safety plans and a list of all the free services available for victims of domestic violence.

When it comes to teaching young ones about love and relationships, no age is ever “too young” to start leading them in the right direction. We recently captured a few responses from children and youth of different ages and stages to see what their view is on love, emotions and what makes a relationship, healthy…

Special Guests:

7-year-old, Ally G.

6-year-old, Preston W.

16-year-old, Evan D.

Children and youth may not know the correct terms or definitions for isolation, manipulation or recite every initiator of abuse, but they CAN describe what it’s like to feel loved, supported, and happy. In our examples today, we heard from 3 different people…. Between ages 6 & 16 who have observed both healthy and unhealthy habits between couples in their little piece of this world. Whether we’d accept the role or not, our relationship with others serves as a template of how we are to support our partner and handle conflict in healthy ways.

In this case, actions and words BOTH matter for the generations coming up behind us.

We frequently see that victims of abuse are blamed for what happens to them, by their partner or even those closest to them. Generally speaking, individuals have a hard time understanding why someone would keep returning to THAT kind of home life. But a more appropriate question could be, why does their partner keep treating them that way? OR what is the invisible anchor that is holding my friend captive to that toxic relationship? When we understand how strategic power and control moves can affect a victim’s hope for a peaceful life, we can begin to understand why leaving an abusive relationship is one of the hardest things someone can do.

For more on the Power and Control Wheel, visit:

www.theduluthmodel.org/wheels/

For More on Safety Planning or Free and Supportive Services available for victims of abuse, visit us online www.carelodge.com or call our 24/7 help line at 601.693.4673.

We can achieve success on the other side of feeling "stuck" by focusing on the good and each, small win every day.

Photo by Startup Stock Photos from Pexels

Brittney Mosley R.A.P.

Theme – To Rise Above Poverty is to be your best self

Background information:

R.A.P. Inc. is a nonprofit organization that provides grants, volunteer opportunities, education, and information to empower impoverished families to rise above poverty.

They believe that when people exhaust their wealth and are reduced to poverty, they can rise above it with assistance, nurturing, and education. Advocates at RAP focus on these core values when coming alongside those who need help getting to their next level:

• Giving is a necessary component in receiving

• Wealth is relative

• There are cycles of poverty that can be broken

• Financial assistance is necessary to begin regaining the wealth that was lost

• "Whatsoever a man soweth that shall he also reap"

• Financial management is a learning process necessary to maintain wealth

• Knowledge is information and information is power

• RAP has goals that will prepare families to meet their financial responsibilities and positively change how they see themselves through

• Financial Assistance

Topics discussed

• Restoring Sisterhood – Women Rock

• Health equity in east central Mississippi

• Black Maternal Health

• Pandemic and Relationships

• “The Silence” phenomenon (news story on decline in crime)

To learn more about Rise Above Poverty,

• visit riseabovepoverty.org

• Facebook @riseabovepovertyorganization

• or call 601.479.8509

Script

Finding Your Way Episode #1

Welcome to Finding Your Way, a podcast designed with survivors in mind. Conversations on this show help guide listeners toward finding solutions for safety and support as they navigate life from being a victim to becoming a survivor of violence.

Topic Intro

A map and compass are 2 valuable instruments for a back-country hiker… next to food, water and shelter. If you are lost and have those last 3 items, you may be tempted to stay put and wait for help to come to you. However, if you are equipped with a map and compass you may have more courage and motivation to find the safest way out.

Content

For many victims of abuse; whether it is, physical, emotional, sexual, financial… it can feel very overwhelming to consider a way out of their situation. They feel stuck or lost often believing that they cannot make it on their own financially or even emotionally. Many believe that they are a bad person if they leave an abusive partner even if it is for their own safety. In their desperation to find a solution, they may jump at the first opportunity without considering if there are other options available to them. Even though they do not know the entire situation, friends or family may not be willing to help due to feeling “cast out” because the abuser has isolated their victim from maintaining contact with them. Opinions and advice-giving can overwhelm and cause confusion. This fact remains true for a survivor… they are the only one who knows their situation to its fullest extent. Telling them which move to make next is not the best way to connect them to help. A survivor’s compass can only point them in the right direction if they have an updated map. Knowing up to date information on the community agencies in your hometown is a good first step. Emergency shelter, counseling, peer support, financial aid and life skills classes?... they’re all programs designed to promote well being and restoration of both an individual and their family. Care Lodge provides these services for anyone who has been a victim of domestic violence, dating abuse, stalking and sexual assault. Here, the team’s goal is to rally around the individual and serve as a safety and support system to help point them to the True North on their compass. The map in this scenario is a list of options to increase their safety

-Safe shelter

-Domestic Abuse Protection Order

-Court Advocacy and Representation

-Referrals for forensic interviewing

-Counseling

-Financial Empowerment… the list really could go on AND ON

In the end, we stress the importance of “listening to our gut”. When someone you care about tells you they love you, but their actions do not match up your definition of love… your gut reaction may set off a response inside of you that says… This hurts! I thought love was supposed to make me feel safe… lifted up? And your gut would be right.

Stay Connected

If you want to know more about what was shared on today’s podcast, check out the links provided in the show notes or visit us online at carelodge.com

Make sure to follow Care Lodge on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube and Snapchat, www.carelodge.com

Care Lodge Help Line 601.693.HOPE (4673)

National Domestic Abuse Hotline1-800-799-7233