By Lori Saitz
5
2626 ratings
The podcast currently has 209 episodes available.
It’s called “continuous growth” for a reason.
When you cut down a tree, or a tree snaps and falls, the rings you’ll see reveal more than the age of the tree based on how many rings there are. Each ring will be a different width, a different color or shade.
Each of these rings tells a story about how changes in the environment impacted its growth and development as it grew from a sapling into a fully-fledged organism sprouting branches, growing leaves, bearing fruit, expanding its roots, or whatever other functions it performed during its life cycle.
Jennifer Frye’s story of surviving domestic abuse and finding her way to thrive by looking from the inside out makes me think of this metaphor.
Growing up, Jennifer was instilled with the values of hard work, work ethic, honesty, integrity, family, education… and guilt. Yes, she grew up in the 1980s.
Her father was a successful entrepreneur who worked a lot of hours and embodied the hustle culture. Though she grew up in a loving household, both her parents died when she was in her 20s. She was determined to be a success story and to do what she believed would be expected of her.
Jennifer got married, had a child, and started a business, so it seemed like she was set to emulate her father and everything would be fine.
But Fine is a 4-Letter Word.
Her husband gradually became abusive. First it was emotional abuse, trauma, gaslighting, and displays of power like blocking her from leaving a room or laying behind her car so she could not leave the driveway. She tried to make it work for the sake of their child having a complete home. Then, after she went out with a friend for her birthday, he accused her of being with another man and struck her.
That was the break. Though it was scary, and she didn’t have a whole lot to go on as her business was just starting to really take off, she divorced him and embarked on a journey to making it on her own.
Funny thing, though. She had already been managing the household and primary in raising their child, so on the surface level, aside from a struggle to make ends meet, things hadn’t actually changed all that much.
Until one day, she was emptying the dishwasher and found sheer joy at knowing she didn’t have a man who would cause her anxiety if she didn’t empty the dishwasher.
In a moment, when you hear from Jennifer, you’ll see how, like the rings of a tree, she discovered how as you go through the layers of bark, you find your tolerations that get in the way of gratitude and dispose of them.
And most of all, you’ll be energized by the power of the word “because”.
Jennifer’s hype song is "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" by Whitney Houston.
Resources:
Also be sure to check out Episode #81, Resilience in the Face of Adversity: A Dad’s Story of Overcoming Loss and Embracing Gratitude with Mike Fister – Mike connected me to Jennifer for today’s enlightening conversation!
Invitation from Lori:
In my special guide, 5 Easy Ways to Start Living the Sabbatical Life, you can discover, step-by-step, how you can stop settling for “fine” and look at your life with a fresh set of eyes. Even if, like many people in today’s high-speed world, you’re not in a position to take a month or year-long sabbatical.
You know how you normally hear the disclaimer “Don’t try this at home!” In this case, you CAN try this at home. And not just “try,” DO.
Once you read it, you’ll
✅ Discover a counter-intuitive approach to making intentional changes in mindset and lifestyle.
✅ Learn how to own your feelings and your struggles so you can address them.
✅ Find out how to face fears, step out of your comfort zone, and rewire your beliefs.
It’s only 7 pages, so it won’t take you long to get through. When you’re ready to say F*ck Being Fine, this guide is the place to start and it will give you new perspectives that could change your life starting today!
Go to https://zenrabbit.com right now to download it for free.
Now, let’s head over to Jennifer’s house. It looks like such a warm and inviting place. We might be early though, because I think I hear her emptying the dishwasher!
Living through the pandemic changed all of our lives, in one way or another.
For some, it was coming to a realization that you didn’t feel like your business or your career was your true calling, in which case it’s possible you may have encountered someone like today’s guest during your journey toward finding something more aligned with your life’s purpose.
For others, it’s finding out that although you had a bunch of superficial or virtual interactions every day, you essentially felt alone. And maybe the friend or mentor you needed was someone you had never met, like in the form of a content creator, an author, or a podcast host.
This is Brian Fink’s story.
Growing up, his family was in the shirt manufacturing business. Today, he’s a talent acquisition partner who finds top-tier hires. One day, at a recruiting event, a candidate approached him and asked if he was one of the Finks who had owned the local shirt factory. It turns out, Brian’s grandfather had given his father white dress shirts as a reward for making Dean’s List at an HBCU, Albany State University, and to encourage him to continue doing well in his studies.
This encounter led Brian to the realization that because of what his grandfather did for those students and during the civil rights movement, that Brian’s striving to make sure things are fair and indivisible for everybody comes through family legacy.
Brian has enjoyed a storied career. He’s owned recruiting businesses, exited them, and helped others grow and exit their recruiting businesses. He has worked for companies like Amazon and AWS, Twitter, and Vanguard on his way toward his current work at McAfee.
As an “intrapreneur”, as he calls himself, he lives out the values imprinted by his grandfather as well as one of his grandmothers, who taught him to value friendships and the communities you create and serve.
This all sounds fine.. but Fine is a 4-Letter Word.
About 20 years ago, Brian found out he suffers from anxiety and depression.
In his search for understanding, acceptance, strength, and growth, he found himself drawn toward not only mentors in the workplace who create space for him to learn from mistakes and explore his talents, but also remote mentors – those authors, speakers, and podcast hosts. He reads voraciously to the point that he’s not really up on “pop culture” because he prefers books to television and movies.
Like the day he discovered by chance that his grandfather had been someone else’s father’s hero, there was one particular video he found that gives him incredible inspiration to find what he is looking for on the other side of fear.
When you listen to Brian, you’ll discover how he has found companionship and mentorship at a distance.
Brian’s hype song is “Sweetness” by Jimmy Eat World.
Resources:
Invitation from Lori:
In my special guide, 5 Easy Ways to Start Living the Sabbatical Life, you can discover, step-by-step, how you can stop settling for “fine” and look at your life with a fresh set of eyes. Even if, like many people in today’s high-speed world, you’re not in a position to take a month or year-long sabbatical.
You know how you normally hear the disclaimer “Don’t try this at home!” In this case, you CAN try this at home. And not just “try,” DO.
Once you read it, you’ll
✅ Discover a counter-intuitive approach to making intentional changes in mindset and lifestyle.
✅ Learn how to own your feelings and your struggles so you can address them.
✅ Find out how to face fears, step out of your comfort zone, and rewire your beliefs.
It’s only 7 pages, so it won’t take you long to get through. When you’re ready to say F*ck Being Fine, this guide is the place to start and it will give you new perspectives that could change your life starting today!
Go to https://zenrabbit.com right now to download it for free.
Now let’s meet Brian. He seems to have his nose buried in a book while whistling to something he’s listening to through his headphones!
Do you think you’ve got it made?
Today’s situation is remarkable for the sheer amount of disruption, rapid change, and even chaos that seems to spin faster and faster with each passing moment.
Just in the past few years, the world has been turned upside down, stood back up, spun around, and sent into the rapids by a pandemic that has become endemic, political and social upheaval that might leave you feeling like nothing would really surprise you at this point, predictions becoming fact in weeks rather than years, and much more that few of us saw coming just five years ago.
What if you could take a step back and turn down the noise?
Rick Herrmann invites you to do just that.
For the past 35 years, Rick has been what he calls an “always on” tech executive who thrives in the intensity and passion of work and then in play with his family. These experiences have taught him to be resilient, driven, and adaptable.
As a kid in New England during the 1980s, when Michael J. Fox played Alex P. Keaton, Rick grew up in the family ties of a supportive environment as the son of an engineer and entrepreneur who left the house at 5:30 am and came home at 6:30 pm and installed in young Rick the values of hard work and certainty.
These values inspired him to enter the tech world, a place where bedrock stability and calm through crisis are key to doing a great job and making a big difference. In the workplace, you might think of IT only when something goes wrong; the rest of the time you subconsciously bask in the certainty the up-and-running servers give you that you’ll be able to do your job.
You might say Rick stands out by not standing out – he’s a gentle, quiet man with a great career and a wonderful family. Everything’s fine with Rick – why would we even have him on a show that’s about radical inflection points and catharsis?
But that’s just the thing – FINE is a 4-Letter Word.
Things got a little f*cked up for Rick – in an understated way – when he entered his 50s and the world entered a pandemic. Coupled with the loss of a parent, it drove him to identify three core values – family, compassion, and doing big things.
Along the way, he’s taken plenty of walks in nature, walking calls with employees that are about candidly venting without the pressure to solve the world’s problems, and driven the shift from “work-life balance” to “work-life integration”. Along the way, he’s brought computers to millions of underserved communities so they have a fair opportunity to participate in all the world has to offer.
Now tune in and prepare to soak up some of the wisdom Rick has learned along the way.
Rick’s hype song is "Need a Favor" by Jelly Roll.
Resources:
Invitation from Lori:
In my special guide, 5 Easy Ways to Start Living the Sabbatical Life, you can discover, step-by-step, how you can stop settling for “fine” and look at your life with a fresh set of eyes. Even if, like many people in today’s high-speed world, you’re not in a position to take a month or year-long sabbatical.
You know how you normally hear the disclaimer “Don’t try this at home!” In this case, you CAN try this at home. And not just “try,” DO.
Once you read it, you’ll
✅ Discover a counter-intuitive approach to making intentional changes in mindset and lifestyle.
✅ Learn how to own your feelings and your struggles so you can address them.
✅ Find out how to face fears, step out of your comfort zone, and rewire your beliefs.
It’s only 7 pages, so it won’t take you long to get through. When you’re ready to say F*ck Being Fine, this guide is the place to start and it will give you new perspectives that could change your life starting today!
Go to https://zenrabbit.com right now to download it for free.
Okay, I think I see Rick coming along the walking trail toward us right now. Whatever he’s listening to through his earbuds, he is inspired! Let’s wave and get his attention.
Self-reliance. Determination and grit. Treating others the way you want to be treated.
These are some of the most noble traits our society says we can possibly have, attributing people who exude them as being the product of a good upbringing and the kind of person we should aspire to be.
These are also the traits than can bite you in the ass and f*ck everything up when they come back at you like a boomerang and whack you upside the head just when you think you’ve done it all right and everything’s fine.
This is Michelle Charpentier’s story.
She was raised with the “Golden Rule” by hardworking, self-relliant parents who always came through for her, one way or another. Her dad was a school teacher and a musician who got by just fine by living this same value system. Her mom was always busy doing something.
Michelle embarked on a successful management career in the jewelry industry, where she discovered a few things that really stood out. Like the time a meeting coordinator asked Michelle to be liaison with the cleaning lady rather than approach the woman directly because Michelle seemed to get along with her so well. Or that some managers were assuming everything was fine with their employees and not taking the time to get to know their likes and dislikes.
Eventually, Michelle was offered the kind of major promotion you don’t say no to. For a while it involved a long commute from New York City to New Jersey, but she was able to get transferred to NYC and everything seemed fine.
But FINE is a 4-Letter Word.
Michelle burned out, but it wasn’t just the commute and the long hours that come with being in retail that drove her to leave it all behind and start her own consulting firm so she could have more flexibility to start a family.
Remember that boomerang that comes around and hits you back? Michelle felt it when all of a sudden she had nobody to manage. Then she found those traits of self-reliance, determination, and grit became a problem when employees weren’t around whose specific job it was to help her.
And that Golden Rule thing? She found out in the “silence of solopreneurship” that it played a huge role in burning her out and cost her a fortune in life.
In a moment, when you meet Michelle, you’ll find out how all those admirable traits f*cked things up – and some new values she developed that actually made her an even better person than the fine human being she already was. It may come across as contrarian, and it may shock you. And that’s exactly why you need to listen.
Michelle’s hype song is "WOW" by Post Malone.
Resources:
Also, check out Episode #135, Pull The Weeds When They’re Wet with Kris Ward, for even more on the topics Michelle shares with us today.
Invitation from Lori:
In my special guide, 5 Easy Ways to Start Living the Sabbatical Life, you can discover, step-by-step, how you can stop settling for “fine” and look at your life with a fresh set of eyes. Even if, like many people in today’s high-speed world, you’re not in a position to take a month or year-long sabbatical.
You know how you normally hear the disclaimer “Don’t try this at home!” In this case, you CAN try this at home. And not just “try,” DO.
Once you read it, you’ll
✅ Discover a counter-intuitive approach to making intentional changes in mindset and lifestyle.
✅ Learn how to own your feelings and your struggles so you can address them.
✅ Find out how to face fears, step out of your comfort zone, and rewire your beliefs.
It’s only 7 pages, so it won’t take you long to get through. When you’re ready to say F*ck Being Fine, this guide is the place to start and it will give you new perspectives that could change your life starting today!
Go to https://zenrabbit.com right now to download it for free.
So, let’s head over to our meeting with Michelle. She has blocked off just a half hour for us, but we have her undivided attention. Let’s lunch and learn together!
Imagine going about your day, following your routine, when out of the blue something comes along and knocks you to the ground, ending the life you’ve known up until that moment.
In the movies, things can go into slow motion, or you hear the “needle scratch” that ends the background music as everything comes to a shuttering halt and you fall to the ground.
This was the moment Dori Staehle (pronounced STAY-LEE) got beat like a drum in a bicycle accident – and as she was soon to discover, drumming was going to be the next step.
Dori told her professors she was raised by wolves. Her father became a single parent to Dori and her two older sisters and the girls found themselves taking care of the household with minimal parental guidance.
At age 16, she left home to live with a friend from high school. Around that same time developed a curiosity about spirituality and sought to learn more about faith on her own.
After college, where she almost burned out due to her heavy course load, Dori pursued a career path of international business and sales and marketing but felt unfulfilled creatively. At the same time, she discovered her children “learned differently.” so out of necessity she designed a unique way to teach them mathematics.
It was then that Dori discovered that hand drumming helped beat stress and ADHD issues and improved productivity. So in 2009 she became a Certified Drum Therapist with Drums and Disabilities, and later trained with Health Rhythms.
Not everything was “fine” – that 4-Letter Word – but it was about to get worse.
BAM!
One day in 2011, that bicycle came out of nowhere. After weeks of being put off when she sought proper medical attention and being told she was “fine” when she was in constant pain, an MRI revealed that not only did she have a mass of cysts inside her, the bicycle accident had triggered Aphasia.
Dori almost gave up, but decided to ask God to give her a way to heal herself and others - and that's when things got interesting.
Already well into her 50s, she started her fourth business, Next Stage Drumming, mainly offering classes, events, and private drum therapy sessions. Once Dori added some mentoring and coaching to the mix, she began to see breakthroughs taking place very quickly – not only for her clients, but for herself as well.
In a moment, when you meet Dori, you’ll hear her fascinating story about how all the threads, lessons, triumphs, and tragedies of her life coalesced as if they were leading her to the drums. As Dori says, “You're never too old and it's never too late to rock what you've got!”
Dori’s hype song is "Rise Up (Lazarus)" by CAIN.
Resources:
Claim your access to Dori Staehle's free stress relief video when you sign up for her newsletter: https://www.nextstagedrumming.com/free-tips/
Invitation from Lori:
Before you press that "Play" button (or after you finish listening), let me mention that in my special guide, 5 Easy Ways to Start Living the Sabbatical Life, you can discover, step-by-step, how you can stop settling for “fine” and look at your life with a fresh set of eyes. Even if, like many people in today’s high-speed world, you’re not in a position to take a month or year-long sabbatical.
You know how you normally hear the disclaimer “Don’t try this at home!” In this case, you CAN try this at home. And not just “try,” DO.
Once you read it, you’ll
✅ Discover a counter-intuitive approach to making intentional changes in mindset and lifestyle.
✅ Learn how to own your feelings and your struggles so you can address them.
✅ Find out how to face fears, step out of your comfort zone, and rewire your beliefs.
It’s only 7 pages, so it won’t take you long to get through. When you’re ready to say F*ck Being Fine, this guide is the place to start and it will give you new perspectives that could change your life starting today!
Go to https://zenrabbit.com right now to download it for free.
Now, let’s head over to where that drum music is coming from – there’s Dori. I can tell you right now, there’s a message in those drum beats. Let’s find out what it is!
What do Anthony Hopkins, Dan Aykroyd, Courtney Love, Daryl Hannah, Jerry Seinfeld, Albert Einstein, Heather Kuzmich, Elon Musk, Lionel Messi, Eminem, and Satoshi Tajiri have in common?
Celebrity?
Creativity?
Fame?
Fortune?
Yes, all of them have these things to varying degrees. Each and every one of them also has (or in Einstein’s case, had) autism.
So does author, actor, autism advocate, and animal rights activist Daniel Keith Austin, creator of the children’s book series, Chelsea’s New Journey. I was especially interested in hosting Daniel on the show because there are a lot of misconceptions around what autism is and how people with it interact with the world. It’s a topic that’s near and dear to my heart because my nephew is on the spectrum.
Daniel was raised with the core beliefs of striving to be a good and decent person who treats people well, does things for the overall benefit of mankind, and helps people lead better lives.
He also grew up as one of four autistic siblings and experienced many challenges. He was a disruptive kid who struggled in an educational system that just wanted him to follow orders and behave while doing little to support him in learning to form relationships and communicate effectively. He didn’t find out he had autism until he was 14 years old.
In Daniel’s case, you could say things were never “fine” – for him, Fine is a 4-Letter Word and always has been.
In a moment, when you meet Daniel, you’ll discover how his passion for writing, performing, and storytelling led him to create a series of children’s books about Chelsea the Golden Retriever.
Revolving around the life story of a Golden Retriever based on Daniel’s childhood dog, this series breaks down and transforms complicated, contentious themes into an understandable, relatable tale that powerfully addresses themes of abandonment, the need for acceptance and belonging, and triumph over adversity through seemingly impossible challenges from the perspective of someone who lacks a human voice.
Through Chelsea’s eyes, Daniel invites you to join an engaging and thought-provoking story arc around Chelsea becoming a therapy dog for people on the autism spectrum.
Daniel’s hype song is “Something’s Coming” from West Side Story.
Resources:
Invitation from Lori:
Before we get to this thought-provoking, emotional conversation that delivers a new perspective on thriving with autism, let me mention that in my special guide, 5 Easy Ways to Start Living the Sabbatical Life, you can discover, step-by-step, how you can stop settling for “fine” and look at your life with a fresh set of eyes. Even if, like many people in today’s high-speed world, you’re not in a position to take a month or year-long sabbatical.
You know how you normally hear the disclaimer “Don’t try this at home!” In this case, you CAN try this at home. And not just “try,” DO.
Once you read it, you’ll
✅ Discover a counter-intuitive approach to making intentional changes in mindset and lifestyle.
✅ Learn how to own your feelings and your struggles so you can address them.
✅ Find out how to face fears, step out of your comfort zone, and rewire your beliefs.
It’s only 7 pages, so it won’t take you long to get through. When you’re ready to say F*ck Being Fine, this guide is the place to start and it will give you new perspectives that could change your life starting today!
Go to https://zenrabbit.com right now to download it for free.
Now, let’s meet Daniel. Here he comes down the street, walking several dogs. I can’t wait to hear the stories he has to share with us today!
In conversations with friends and through my own experiences, I know our animals who’ve crossed the rainbow bridge can still communicate with us. My kitty girls show up in my dreams from time to time.
My guest today is Maribeth Decker. And when she started receiving messages from her dogs after they passed away, it led her to her current vocation.
Like many of my guests, Maribeth was raised to conform to social expectations. Be good, be quiet, be smiley. Don’t ask questions. Do as you’re told. Whatever you’re told is the absolute truth. At age 13, she was out in the woods when she asked God if He existed. She received an incredible response from a loving, intelligent presence. Part of the message was that maybe the humans in her life didn’t have all the answers after all.
In college, she studied pre-med and was horrified by being forced to do experiments on live turtles and mice. After college, her boyfriend suggested she join the Navy, which was a “Fuck Yes” decision for her. In the service she lived up to the drunken sailor stereotype. But when she lost her drinking partner because he decided to get sober, she decided to get sober too.
After 17 years, Maribeth took early retirement from the Navy and became an association manager. During that time, her first husband died, leaving her with young children. She could have worked as an association manager until she retired, and given all she had been through, that would have been fine for Maribeth.
But Fine is a 4-Letter Word.
Instead, Maribeth felt a calling to do something else – massage therapy, then Reiki. After 21 years as an association manager, having already taken courses in massage therapy and Reiki, she retired from her job and went into these practices full-time. Things were going great; this was a right fit. Then her deceased dogs began sending her messages.
Eddie transitioned right before she left for a business trip. While on the airplane, Maribeth felt Eddie’s presence in the aisle and even petted her. Eddie stayed with her the first night in the hotel to make sure she was able to do her best work. Similarly, Timmy, who had passed years before, visited her at her home. He was a full-body apparition, grinning to say he was OK, he was happy and he loved her. Had Maribeth become Dr. Doolittle? What did all this mean?
In a moment, when you meet Maribeth, you’ll discover how this led her to a new and exciting chapter working with animals to help them become better family members through intuitive communication, medical intuition, and energy healing.
Maribeth’s hype song is “Pyro” by Kings of Leon.
Resources:
Also, check out the following episodes we discussed during our interview:
Invitation from Lori:
Before we begin the episode, let me mention that in my special guide, 5 Easy Ways to Start Living the Sabbatical Life, you can discover, step-by-step, how you can stop settling for “fine” and look at your life with a fresh set of eyes. Even if, like many people in today’s high-speed world, you’re not in a position to take a month or year-long sabbatical.
You know how you normally hear the disclaimer “Don’t try this at home!” In this case, you CAN try this at home. And not just “try,” DO.
Once you read it, you’ll
✅ Discover a counter-intuitive approach to making intentional changes in mindset and lifestyle.
✅ Learn how to own your feelings and your struggles so you can address them.
✅ Find out how to face fears, step out of your comfort zone, and rewire your beliefs.
It’s only 7 pages, so it won’t take you long to get through. When you’re ready to say F*ck Being Fine, this guide is the place to start and it will give you new perspectives that could change your life starting today!
Go to https://zenrabbit.com right now to download it for free.
Now, let’s meet Maribeth. There’s a big, husky dog looking her in the eye, almost like they’re mind-melding. He looks like a good boy. Let’s see what’s going on!
As a Gen-Xer, I remember when the prevalent view about being gay was that it was something you’d be afraid for people to find out about. It’s also been our generation that started to change that.
We’ve come a long way in the past couple decades, but it can still be a frightening prospect if your family and community are predominantly heteronormative.
With the stigma surrounding homosexuality that prevailed in the last century, can you blame someone for being afraid to come out, even if everyone they privately confided in has been completely understanding and supportive?
This is Kevin O’Connor’s story.
Kevin was raised in the 1950s and 1960s in the middle of the Midwest – Elgin Illinois to be exact – as part of a family that founded the first funeral home in that town in 1930 and continued to operate it up until 1984. He, his parents, and his older brother lived in one part of the house; his uncle, aunt, and three older girl cousins lived in another part of the house; the funeral parlor was on the ground floor. He uses the word “inclusive” to summarize his family and social environment growing up.
While he was welcome to make a career in the family business, nobody insisted; his family supported him when he went to college for education and became a teacher. In his early 20s, he got married. This was a great start, and everything seemed fine.
But Fine is a 4-Letter Word – and in 1971, being gay was not considered “fine”.
In a moment, when you meet Kevin, you will discover his extraordinary journey of coming out to his first wife, his second wife, his father, and his sons. And then what inspired him to come out publicly at 55 years old and the impact it had on all his relationships, including and especially the one with himself.
This is a story about inclusivity, acceptance, self-discovery, and navigating the waters of society you cannot miss – tune in now and you may find yourself seeing a new point of view.
Kevin’s hype song is "You Are the Sunshine of My Life" by Stevie Wonder.
Resources:
Also check out our episode, Unleash Your Joy with Carol Banens which includes a theme related to something Kevin and I discussed.
Invitation from Lori:
In my special guide, 5 Easy Ways to Start Living the Sabbatical Life, you can discover, step-by-step, how you can stop settling for “fine” and look at your life with a fresh set of eyes. Even if, like many people in today’s high-speed world, you’re not in a position to take a month or year-long sabbatical.
You know how you normally hear the disclaimer “Don’t try this at home!” In this case, you CAN try this at home. And not just “try,” DO.
Once you read it, you’ll
✅ Discover a counter-intuitive approach to making intentional changes in mindset and lifestyle.
✅ Learn how to own your feelings and your struggles so you can address them.
✅ Find out how to face fears, step out of your comfort zone, and rewire your beliefs.
It’s only 7 pages, so it won’t take you long to get through. When you’re ready to say F*ck Being Fine, this guide is the place to start and it will give you new perspectives that could change your life starting today!
Go to https://zenrabbit.com right now to download it for free.
Now, let’s meet Kevin. I can just tell this one’s going to be an eye-opener, so buckle up!
While it's difficult to track how many people with cancer do not seek treatment, the National Cancer Data Base (NCDB) conducted a study a few years ago that indicated about 9.2% of patients receive no first course of treatment.
This could be for many reasons, including fear or disbelief in traditional or corporate medicine, alternative treatments that stay off the statistics, or they just say “fuck it” and decide to enjoy the time they have left the best they can.
But what if you’re diagnosed with cancer and seeing an oncologist just doesn’t fit into your plan?
This was Deb Krier.
Deb was raised in a small town as the only child of a father who worked most of the time and was uninvolved to the point that he was vaguely aware the family had a bank account, and a mother who was the secretary at the local doctor’s office. Their marriage may have been what we today call a “female-led relationship” – her mother ran everything and insisted on making every decision.
This brought out two traits in Deb – it made her a perfectionist and perhaps a bit of a control freak, and it also made her very independent and insistent on having control over her own life.
She went to college, started a business, and in her 30s got married. They lived in Denver until her husband got transferred to Atlanta. Because they don’t have kids and otherwise are independent people, the move wasn’t that hard. They planted stakes in Atlanta and things went on. Hell, everything seemed fine.
But FINE is a 4-Letter Word.
A routine mammogram revealed something, but it was minor and easily treatable. Since it didn’t seem urgent, Deb didn’t exactly rush to the oncologist – actually, it wasn’t until months later, once the cancer had spread and things got serious, that she began treatment.
The journey through cancer has taught Deb many lessons, including the importance of delegation in her business, how to assert her autonomy and retain her choice as she goes through treatment, and a long quest through which she has discovered a new meaning and definition for the concept of death.
For a while, her mother moved in to help with care, which led to arguments because Deb, her mother, and her husband fought over who was in charge. It was a huge deal just to persuade her mother to leave when she was no longer needed.
So, how is Deb doing? How did this inspire her to create her venture, Trying Not to Die, which works with cancer patients showing them how to LIVE?
We’re about to find out.
Deb’s hype song is “Fight Song” by Rachel Platten.
Resources:
Also check out our episode, Replacing Fine with F*ck Off! with P.J. Roscoe which includes a theme related to something Deb and I discussed.
Invitation from Lori:
Now, let me mention that in my special guide, 5 Easy Ways to Start Living the Sabbatical Life, you can discover, step-by-step, how you can stop settling for “fine” and look at your life with a fresh set of eyes. Even if, like many people in today’s high-speed world, you’re not in a position to take a month or year-long sabbatical.
You know how you normally hear the disclaimer “Don’t try this at home!” In this case, you CAN try this at home. And not just “try,” DO.
Once you read it, you’ll
✅ Discover a counter-intuitive approach to making intentional changes in mindset and lifestyle.
✅ Learn how to own your feelings and your struggles so you can address them.
✅ Find out how to face fears, step out of your comfort zone, and rewire your beliefs.
It’s only 7 pages, so it won’t take you long to get through. When you’re ready to say F*ck Being Fine, this guide is the place to start and it will give you new perspectives that could change your life starting today!
Go to https://zenrabbit.com right now to download it for free.
Now, let’s catch up with Deb. I’m so glad she was able to fit us into her schedule!
First of all, I’d like to take a moment to acknowledge and celebrate all the work that’s gone into getting to this milestone of 150 episodes of Fine is a 4-Letter Word.
In past solos, I’ve talked about courage, doing what others won’t do, energy, and making decisions.
If you’re not familiar with what I do outside of this show, I work with business leaders and corporate teams, giving them tools and techniques so they can be more focused, resilient, and collaborative so they can manage the distractions in their heads that keep them from being as productive as they’d like and move projects forward with less stress and drama.
One of those techniques is meditation - but there’s often a lot of resistance around meditation, what it is, how to do it, etc.
There are many benefits, not least of which is meditation can decrease anxiety, it builds resilience. You’ll spend less time stuck in mulling over past mistakes and worrying about what might happen tomorrow.
In fact, a study at the University of Western Ontario followed an 8-week mindfulness program. Results showed participants experienced a 32% decrease in stress, a 30% decrease in anxiety and a 29% decrease in depression.
Tune in to this special episode and discover for yourself:
✅ When you can expect to see results from meditation
✅ The best time of day to meditate and how to use it to set yourself up to be more efficient and successful
✅ How you can easily make meditation a habit
✅ And much, much more packed into this powerful 23-minute episode!
This episode comes with a bonus called “Meditation: Clearing Anxiety” which is posted separately as a bonus episode.
Resources:
Invitation from Lori:
Much of what I included here comes from my digital Staying Calm in Chaos program.
If you’d like to get access to the entire program, where there’s a whole bunch more tools and techniques beyond meditation, you can find it at https://www.stayingcalminchaos.com/sp.
It’s time to step out of the clusterf*ck... of fear, regret, and disappointment, and into a place of peace and contentment!
The podcast currently has 209 episodes available.