How many things in your life are you currently trying to fix that aren't even yours to fix? An employee who isn't performing the way you want. A team member who keeps making the same mistake. A business problem you've been solving alone for years. A family member whose choices frustrate you. Your own tendency to overwork, overthink, and over-achieve.
Recording solo this week from Ideas Fest, a festival in a field about 45 minutes outside London with 6,000 other founders, entrepreneurs, and investors, Lori Saitz breaks down why fixing feels like responsibility but is actually about control, and why the exact instinct that made you successful as an individual contributor is often the thing holding your team, your family, or yourself back.
Drawing on conversations from four past episodes, a business owner who scaled by stepping back, a leader who reframed what it means to see people as more than resources, a guest who spent years achieving to prove his worth, and a founder who lost everything overnight through no fault of her own, Lori lays out a five-question test for telling the difference between fixing and leading, and what real trust actually requires you to give up.
What You'll Take Away
- Why fixing other people's problems is often less about helping them and more about maintaining a feeling of control
- The real difference between helping someone become more capable and rescuing them from ever having to be
- Why the skill that made you successful as an individual contributor can become the exact thing holding your organization back once you're leading others
- A five-question test to run before you jump in and solve a problem that was never yours to solve
- What “this is how it is now” actually means as a starting point for acceptance, not a form of giving up
Chapters & Key Timestamps
00:00 Opening: the cost of fixing things that aren't yours to fix
01:27 Recording solo from Ideas Fest in England
01:57 The things we try to fix that were never ours to fix
02:41 Why fixing feels like responsibility, but is often about control
03:10 The high-achiever hustle myth, and what it actually costs
03:37 You can only control your inputs, never the outcomes
04:08 The exact skill that gets you promoted becomes the thing holding your team back
04:39 Will Steel's story: the business owner who scaled by stepping back (Ep. 235)
05:16 Five questions to ask before deciding your team needs more of you
05:55 The real difference between helping and rescuing
06:30 What rescuing sounds like, versus what leadership actually sounds like
07:37 Scott Doggett's boat analogy: rowing hard, barely rowing, rowing backwards (Ep. 238)
08:42 Why you can't lead someone you've already decided is a problem
09:19 Recognizing people as humans, not managing them as “resources”
09:55 Anthony Sparks and the belief that achievement will finally make you worthy (Ep. 216)
11:01 Why external achievement can't fix an internal problem
11:30 What happens when you genuinely cannot fix the situation
11:57 Jodi Scott's story: losing everything in 24 hours, through nothing she did wrong (Ep. 236)
13:17 “This is how it is now”: acceptance as a starting point, not surrender
14:00 Why trust and micromanaging cannot coexist
14:38 Trusting someone means trusting their way, not just your way
15:16 The five-question test: am I fixing, or am I leading?
16:28 What true leadership actually looks like
16:56 The song, and why it's a little ironic given today's topic
The Fixing-or-Leading Test
RUN THIS BEFORE YOU JUMP IN TO SOLVE SOMETHING THAT ISN'T YOURS:
1. Is this even mine to fix? If not, step back.
2. Does this person need me to give them an answer, or do they need me
to ask better questions?
3. Am I solving the problem, or am I relieving my own discomfort?
4. If I fix this, what will this person learn?
5. What happens if I don't step in?
Resources Mentioned
- Song: Control by Janet Jackson
Episodes Referenced in This Episode
- Episode 235: Will Steel — the auto body shop client who went from 65–75-hour weeks to 12, grew revenue from $2.5M to $7M, and sold the business for $23.5M within 12 months of stepping out of the day-to-day.
- Episode 238: Scott Doggett — the boat analogy for team engagement: three people rowing hard, five barely dipping their oars, two actively rowing backwards.
- Episode 216: Anthony Sparks — on why money, titles, and achievement are scoreboards that can buy options and reduce stress, but can't replace self-respect or meaningful connection.
- Episode 236: Jodi Scott — on losing her team and her income within 24 hours after her acquiring partner was raided by federal investigators, and the phrase that became her starting point afterward: “this is how it is now.”
Continue With Lori
Website: zenrabbit.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lorisaitz/
Email: [email protected]
Invitation From Lori
This episode is sponsored by Zen Rabbit. Trust is the foundation of all great workplaces, and in today's hybrid, fast-moving work culture, it's built through consistent, clear, human communication.
Quarterly town halls, Slack messages, or team-building events are rarely enough to create the connection employees need. That's why forward-thinking companies are hiring Lori to create internal and private podcasts that bring leaders and employees together through authentic stories and real conversations.
Think of it as the old-school company newsletter reinvented for the modern workplace.
If your company wants to strengthen communication, connection, community, and culture, connect with Lori at
[email protected] or on
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lorisaitz/
About FINE is a 4-Letter Word
FINE is a 4-Letter Word is the show for leaders who are tired of pretending everything is fine.
We explore what it takes to lead with empathy, vulnerability, gratitude, and courage, especially during the seasons when life and leadership feel anything but fine.
Listen for honest conversations about how human connection influences innovation, retention, leadership, and real impact.
New episodes every week.
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