Need help? Check out these resources: www.firstresponderwellness.co/resources

or Dial 988 for immediate help. 

In this episode, Conrad sits down with Erin Jane for a conversation that feels both deeply personal and quietly important. Erin is a former police officer and detective from Australia, now living in Boston as the wife of an active-duty firefighter, a wellness coach, podcast host, radio host, and advocate for first responder mental health. What unfolds is more than a professional interview—it’s a human conversation about what service costs, what love requires, and what healing can look like when the uniform comes off.

Erin speaks with honesty about the emotional residue of police work, the delayed processing that can come years after leaving the job, and the reality of carrying darkness long after the moment has passed. She opens up about suicides being some of the hardest calls she ever handled, not only because of the tragedy itself, but because of the intimate grief left behind. She also offers a rare perspective from both sides of the first responder world: as a former officer and as the spouse of a firefighter.

This episode matters because it names what so many people feel but do not know how to articulate—burnout, fear, compartmentalization, emotional distance, marriage strain, and the quiet hope that things can get better. Listeners will walk away with practical insight, compassion for themselves and their loved ones, and a reminder that struggling is not weakness. It is human. And support is not only possible—it is necessary.

ABOUT ERIN JANE

Erin Jane Nugent is a former police officer and detective from Australia who now works in the first responder wellness space as a coach, speaker, and podcast host. She is also the wife of an active-duty firefighter and brings a rare perspective shaped by both serving in uniform and living alongside someone who still does.

Connect with Erin: https://www.erinjanecoaching.com/

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FIRST RESPONDER WELLNESS PODCAST

Order the PTSD911 Film and Educational Toolkit here: https://ptsd911movie.com/toolkit/

Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/first-responder-wellness-podcast/id1535675703

Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2wW72dLZOKkO1QYUPzL2ih

Purchase the PTSD911 film for your public safety agency or organization:

The First Responder Wellness Podcast is a production of First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC

Copyright ©2026 First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC - All rights Reserved.

Need help? Check out these resources: www.firstresponderwellness.co/resources

or Dial 988 for immediate help. 

Marriage, Badges, and Breakthroughs 

In this conversation, Conrad sits down with Dylan and Kella Bates—two first responders who’ve worked in very different worlds, from the nonstop pace of the DC area to the isolation and intensity of rural Alaska. They talk candidly about what the public doesn’t see: the whiplash of going from an infant death to a “noise complaint,” the personal weight of responding to one of your own in crisis, and how lack of debriefing and ongoing training can quietly erode an officer’s wellness over time.

They also open up about marriage inside the first responder life—how “investigative mode” can follow you home, why trust and communication have to be intentional, and why friendships outside the job can be the thing that keeps you grounded. The episode closes with the practical work they’re doing now through their peer support community, the Blonde in Blue Network—creating a space where first responders (and families) can show up honestly, without fear of it coming back to their department.

Join the Support Group: https://www.patreon.com/badgesandbreakthroughs

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FIRST RESPONDER WELLNESS PODCAST

Order the PTSD911 Film and Educational Toolkit here: https://ptsd911movie.com/toolkit/

Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/first-responder-wellness-podcast/id1535675703

Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2wW72dLZOKkO1QYUPzL2ih

Purchase the PTSD911 film for your public safety agency or organization:

The First Responder Wellness Podcast is a production of First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC

Copyright ©2026 First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC - All rights Reserved.

Need help? Check out these resources: www.firstresponderwellness.co/resources

or Dial 988 for immediate help. 

Click here to take the Leadership Assessment: http://firstresponderwellness.co/assessment

Episode 122 - Unlearn Survival, and Relearn Peace - with Kevin Barnhill

This episode is a raw conversation about what happens when the job doesn’t just change your schedule—it changes you. Conrad Weaver sits down with Kevin Barnhill, a former pastor turned police sergeant turned clinician, to talk about the quiet identity drift so many first responders experience: the moment your badge stops being something you wear and starts becoming who you are.

Kevin shares how he “lost himself” for nearly a decade—becoming sharper, more cynical, more irritable—while still doing the work and trying to survive the pace, the calls, and the culture. And then, in a twist that feels almost too small to be true, he describes a wake-up moment that wasn’t a shooting or a barricade… but a minor citizen complaint that revealed how far he’d moved from the person he wanted to be.

They dig into the difference between bosses and leaders, why punitive environments create fear, and why mentorship—not micromanagement—is often the missing intervention. The heartbeat of the episode lands in one phrase Kevin drops near the end: “Unlearning survival and relearning peace.” If you’ve felt yourself hardening, disconnecting, or living on edge, this conversation offers language for what’s happening—and a path back.

ABOUT KEVIN

CONNECT WITH KEVIN

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FIRST RESPONDER WELLNESS PODCAST

Order the PTSD911 Film and Educational Toolkit here: https://ptsd911movie.com/toolkit/

Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/first-responder-wellness-podcast/id1535675703

Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2wW72dLZOKkO1QYUPzL2ih

Purchase the PTSD911 film for your public safety agency or organization:

The First Responder Wellness Podcast is a production of First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC

Copyright ©2026 First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC - All rights Reserved.

Need help? Check out these resources: www.firstresponderwellness.co/resources

or Dial 988 for immediate help.

Click here to take the Leadership Assessment: http://firstresponderwellness.co/assessment

Episode 121: You're Only as Sick as Your Secrets - Matt Bloesch

Retirement is supposed to feel like relief. For Matt Bloesch, it does—but not because he simply “made it to the finish line.” After 26 years in the San Francisco Bay Area and retiring at captain, Matt describes what most first responders rarely say out loud: the job doesn’t just change what you’ve seen—it changes who you are at home, what you believe about the world, and how safe your family feels when you walk through the door.

In this conversation with Conrad Weaver, Matt traces the slow drift: bitterness, a shorter fuse, drinking that looked “controlled”… until a phone call reopened an old wound—his father, a San Francisco police officer, accidentally shot and killed by his partner when Matt was 13. That moment cracked the façade and pushed him into real help—where he learned the line that still guides his recovery: you’re only as sick as your secrets.

Matt unpacks what actually works: culturally competent clinicians, peer support that’s funded like it matters, and tools like EMDR that helped him get unstuck. The takeaway is simple and hard: secrecy compounds trauma; connection interrupts it—and it’s never “too small” to deserve help.

ABOUT MATT BLOESCH

Matt Bloesch is a change agent in the first responder wellness world.  He worked as a cop for 26 years, happily retiring into a life of helping others and bringing hope.  Matt went through his struggles with alcohol and post-traumatic stress while on the job, but was able to recover with the help of other cops who were brave enough to tell their stories.  He continued working and had a wildly successful career, with a lot of that time spent on his department’s peer team.  He is also the son of a police officer who died in the line of duty.  Matt now uses those experiences to help police and fire departments build wellness teams, and he volunteers as a youth mentor for Concerns of Police Survivors, an organization dedicated to rebuilding the shattered lives of surviving family members and coworkers of police officers killed in the line of duty.  He is married with two adult children and lives in Northern California.

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FIRST RESPONDER WELLNESS PODCAST

Order the PTSD911 Film and Educational Toolkit here: https://ptsd911movie.com/toolkit/

Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/first-responder-wellness-podcast/id1535675703

Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2wW72dLZOKkO1QYUPzL2ih

Purchase the PTSD911 film for your public safety agency or organization:

The First Responder Wellness Podcast is a production of First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC

Copyright ©2026 First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC - All rights Reserved.

Need help? Check out these resources: www.firstresponderwellness.co/resources

or Dial 988 for immediate help.

Click here to take the Leadership Assessment: http://firstresponderwellness.co/assessment

120 - You Don't Have to be Falling Apart to Need Healing - Kemmi Sadler

In this episode of the First Responder Wellness Podcast, Conrad sits down with Kemmi Saddler, a former local law enforcement officer who went from dispatch to patrol—and then into a 20-year career with the Diplomatic Security Service, protecting people and places most of us will never see.

Her story turns on a hinge: her last day in local policing was September 10, 2001—then, hours later, 9/11 reshaped everything. From Kuwait to Iraq, she describes the slow, invisible accumulation of stress: the “duck and cover” alarms you stop reacting to, the hypervigilance that becomes normal, and the body keeping score in ways you don’t immediately recognize (TMJ, clenched teeth, numbing, alcohol as relief).

What makes this conversation land is the honesty about what happens after the career—when the identity fades and the grief, guilt, and unresolved moments finally speak up. Kemmi shares how a podcast mention of ayahuasca sparked a two-year healing journey, not as a miracle cure, but as a door that required courage, surrender, and real integration work.

The takeaway is simple and heavy: you don’t have to be “falling apart” to need healing. If silence feels impossible, that might be the point.

ABOUT KEMMI SADLER

klsadler.com 

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FIRST RESPONDER WELLNESS PODCAST

Order the PTSD911 Film and Educational Toolkit here: https://ptsd911movie.com/toolkit/

Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/first-responder-wellness-podcast/id1535675703

Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2wW72dLZOKkO1QYUPzL2ih

Purchase the PTSD911 film for your public safety agency or organization:

The First Responder Wellness Podcast is a production of First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC

Copyright ©2026 First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC - All rights Reserved.

Need help? Check out these resources: www.firstresponderwellness.co/resources

or Dial 988 for immediate help.

The Moment We Arrive On Scene, We Become a Part of Their Story - Lt. Sarah Shendy

Some people wear the uniform and slowly disappear inside it—hardened, exhausted, running on fumes. Sarah Shendy is the opposite. Nearly 18 years into law enforcement, she still talks about the job with the kind of awe most people lose after year one. And in this conversation, she explains why.

Sarah’s story starts with an unexpected invitation from a professor at Kent State University—and turns into a career built on compassion, discipline, and an almost stubborn refusal to become numb. She calls it what it is: an addiction to trauma and chaos. But instead of letting that addiction hollow her out, she’s learned to counter it with grounding routines, self-leadership, and the daily choice to show up with steady energy—because when an officer arrives on scene, they don’t just respond to a call… they become part of someone’s story.

Together, Conrad and Sarah unpack what healthy policing actually looks like: weekly one-on-ones, leaders who build family-level connection, hiring for character, and real mental-health support—licensed clinicians on staff, debriefs after critical incidents, and even therapy dogs. This episode is a blueprint for any department that wants to recruit well, retain well, and protect its people without losing its soul.

ABOUT LT. SHENDY

https://www.kent.edu/magazine/force-good

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FIRST RESPONDER WELLNESS PODCAST

Order the PTSD911 Film and Educational Toolkit here: https://ptsd911movie.com/toolkit/

Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/first-responder-wellness-podcast/id1535675703

Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2wW72dLZOKkO1QYUPzL2ih

Purchase the PTSD911 film for your public safety agency or organization:

The First Responder Wellness Podcast is a production of First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC

Copyright ©2026 First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC - All rights Reserved.

Need help? Check out these resources: www.firstresponderwellness.co/resources

or Dial 988 for immediate help.

EPISODE 118:

Bulletproof: Staying Human on the Job with Dan Willis

What happens to a good heart after years of walking into the worst moments of other people’s lives?

In this episode, Conrad Weaver sits down with retired Captain Dan Willis, a 30-year veteran of the La Mesa Police Department (San Diego area), to talk about the quiet transformation that happens in first responder work—often long before anyone calls it “burnout.” Dan describes becoming “emotionally dead inside” just a few years into the job: shorter sentences, less connection at home, more isolation, and a growing numbness that felt like survival… until it became a warning sign.

Then the conversation turns. Dan shares the moment that changed his trajectory—studying emotional survival and wellness at the FBI National Academy—and the ideas that became his book Bulletproof Spirit. He reframes post-traumatic stress not as a life sentence, but as an injury that can heal, especially when leaders stop treating wellness like a program and start treating it like a philosophy.

The biggest takeaway is surprisingly simple: the “little” acts of service aren’t little at all. They can protect the spirit, restore purpose, and help first responders come home as themselves again.

ABOUT DAN WILLIS

Dan Willis is a retired police captain who served 30 years with the La Mesa Police Department in the San Diego area. He now trains and speaks on first responder wellness, resilience, peer support, and emotional survival, and is the author of Bulletproof Spirit.

Web site: www.firstresponderwellness.com

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FIRST RESPONDER WELLNESS PODCAST

Order the PTSD911 Film and Educational Toolkit here: https://ptsd911movie.com/toolkit/

Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/first-responder-wellness-podcast/id1535675703

Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2wW72dLZOKkO1QYUPzL2ih

Purchase the PTSD911 film for your public safety agency or organization:

The First Responder Wellness Podcast is a production of First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC

Copyright ©2026 First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC - All rights Reserved.

Need help? Check out these resources: www.firstresponderwellness.co/resources

or Dial 988 for immediate help.

I Built My Recovery Like an Investigation - with Craig Semple

Craig Semple served 25 years as a detective in the New South Wales, Australia Police Force—homicides, drug squads, outlaw motorcycle gangs, the kind of work that runs on adrenaline and silence. But behind the scenes, PTSD and burnout were stacking up: sleepless nights, heavy drinking, and a culture that treated suffering like weakness. After being medically retired, Craig entered a dark three-year spiral that culminated in a suicide attempt—then made a decision that changed everything: he built a recovery plan the way he used to run investigations. In this episode, Craig and Conrad unpack what first responders miss most—identity loss, the “helper who won’t ask for help,” the family as the canary in the coal mine, and the everyday practices that keep you well enough to finish strong.

ABOUT CRAIG SEMPLE

Craig Semple was a career Detective within the NSW Police Force for 25 years. Much of Craig’s career was invested in `high risk’ law enforcement including drug investigation, the investigation of outlaw motorcycle gangs and homicides. The environment within which Craig led professional people for much of his career was one that exposed employees to high levels of stress, high workloads, occupational burnout, depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder.

CRAIG'S BOOKS:

The Cop Who Fell to Earth

Getting Back Up Again

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FIRST RESPONDER WELLNESS PODCAST

Order the PTSD911 Film and Educational Toolkit here: https://ptsd911movie.com/toolkit/

Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/first-responder-wellness-podcast/id1535675703

Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2wW72dLZOKkO1QYUPzL2ih

Purchase the PTSD911 film for your public safety agency or organization:

The First Responder Wellness Podcast is a production of First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC

Copyright ©2026 First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC - All rights Reserved.

Need help? Check out these resources: www.firstresponderwellness.co/resources

or Dial 988 for immediate help.

You Can't Heal What Stays Locked in the Dark - Dr. Cherylynn Lee

In this powerful episode of the First Responder Wellness Podcast, host Conrad Weaver sits down with police psychologist Dr. Cherylynn Lee to explore what really happens when trauma goes unspoken inside law enforcement, fire, EMS, and dispatch.

Dr. Lee works inside a California sheriff’s office, deploying to SWAT callouts, supporting officer-involved shootings, and overseeing peer support—while also treating first responders in private practice. In this conversation, she explains why avoidance is one of the most dangerous and misunderstood responses to trauma, and why healing only begins when people are able to tell the full story of what they’ve lived through.

Together, Conrad and Dr. Lee unpack the growing debate around embedded clinicians, the importance of trust and cultural competence, and why dispatchers must be included in critical-incident debriefs. They also discuss how first responders get trapped in a cycle of self-blame and moral injury—and how reframing the story can change everything.

This episode is a candid, deeply human look at why so many in public safety suffer in silence, and what it takes to finally bring what’s been buried into the light. If you’ve ever struggled with something you couldn’t put into words, this conversation offers both clarity and hope.

ABOUT DR. CHERYLYNN LEE

Dr. Cherylynn Lee is a police psychologist specializing in law enforcement wellness, critical incident response, and trauma care for first responders. She works full-time inside a California sheriff’s office in an operational leadership role while also running a private practice serving first responders exclusively. She teaches and publishes widely, including work with Lexipol/Police1 and training support for the FBI.

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FIRST RESPONDER WELLNESS PODCAST

Register for the First Responder Leadership Mastermind here: https://firstresponderwellness.co/masterclass/

Order the PTSD911 Film and Educational Toolkit here: https://ptsd911movie.com/toolkit/

Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/first-responder-wellness-podcast/id1535675703

Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2wW72dLZOKkO1QYUPzL2ih

Purchase the PTSD911 film for your public safety agency or organization:

The First Responder Wellness Podcast is a production of First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC

Copyright ©2026 First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC - All rights Reserved.

Need help? Check out these resources: www.firstresponderwellness.co/resources

or Dial 988 for immediate help.

What happens when the very skills that keep an officer alive on the street start quietly dismantling the rest of their life?

In this episode, Conrad Weaver sits down with Dr. Kevin Gilmartin—one of the pioneering voices in police psychology—to unpack the hidden physiology of the job: hypervigilance, distrust, adrenaline, cortisol, and the “biological roller coaster” that first responders ride every day. Gilmartin traces the evolution of wellness in public safety—from the early days of operational psychology to the modern shift toward peer support as the true trust-bridge into a resistant culture.

But the conversation doesn’t stay theoretical. It gets painfully practical: why officers gain weight even without “donuts,” how chronic stress pushes insulin resistance and heart disease, why many departments still treat wellness as optional, and what changes when leadership stops asking for permission and starts building wellness into the job itself. Gilmartin argues that the goal isn’t just surviving the career—it’s earning a retirement you can actually live.

If you lead, serve, or love someone in public safety, this episode will reframe wellness as leadership responsibility—and as a life-or-death commitment to what happens after the shift ends.

ABOUT KEVIN GILMARTIN

Dr. Kevin Gilmartin is a veteran police psychologist whose career spans the evolution of modern public safety wellness. Mentored early by one of the field’s pioneers, he went on to serve agencies across all 50 states and internationally, bringing a rare combination of operational credibility and deep clinical insight. Over decades, he has consulted with departments of every size—from major metropolitan agencies with robust wellness infrastructure to smaller organizations still battling stigma and outdated beliefs.

Gilmartin’s signature contribution is translating the lived reality of the job into understandable biology: hypervigilance, distrust as officer-safety training, cortisol and glucose cycling, and why off-duty disengagement becomes a slow-moving threat to families, health, and identity. He is also a vocal advocate for peer-driven wellness models and leadership practices that make health unavoidable—because the goal is not simply making it to retirement, but actually being well enough to enjoy it.

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ABOUT FIRST RESPONDER WELLNESS SOLUTIONS

First Responder Wellness Solutions (FRWS) is on a mission to transform the health and culture of leadership within first responder agencies. We believe that healthy agencies begin with healthy leaders. Our integrated suite of services is designed to meet leaders where they are and elevate them through practical, scalable tools that build resilience, confidence, and clarity.

Our five core offerings:

Leadership Development Pathway – A system combining live training, mastermind groups, and peer coaching for continuous leadership growth.

Individual & Team Coaching – Confidential coaching solutions that address unique agency challenges and elevate team performance.

Digital Wellness Toolkit – On-demand, self-paced resources, including training modules and leadership tools accessible agency-wide.

National Leadership Summit – A flagship annual event that recharges, equips, and connects leaders from across the country.

FRWS Media Platform – A global reach platform featuring the First Responder Wellness Podcast and future publications, delivering ongoing insights and inspiration.

Through this clear, connected approach, FRWS helps create stronger leaders, healthier agencies, and more resilient communities.

FIRST RESPONDER WELLNESS PODCAST

Register for the First Responder Leadership Mastermind here: https://firstresponderwellness.co/masterclass/

Order the PTSD911 Film and Educational Toolkit here: https://ptsd911movie.com/toolkit/

Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/first-responder-wellness-podcast/id1535675703

Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2wW72dLZOKkO1QYUPzL2ih

Purchase the PTSD911 film for your public safety agency or organization:

The First Responder Wellness Podcast is a production of First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC

Copyright ©2026 First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC - All rights Reserved.